Friday, May 15, 2015

#likeaspanishsoapopera

The following few posts represent a backlog of tweets from Exhibit A: A Skidmark on the Underpants of Society. Behold [Part 4 of 4]: 

January 2, 2015
I swear to you... If I am sick one more time I'm gonna FREAKING lose it.

January 8, 2015
Can someone come to my house, clean my kitchen and make me ramen? Help a girl out, I'm dyin in bed. I can pay in cake.

January 8, 2015
Can I stop feeling like I want to get sick every 30 minutes...?

January 9, 2015
Literally so tired.

January 12, 2015
My patience is wearing thin.

January 12, 2015
It's nice that after all this time, my family is starting to come back together..

January 13, 2015
Can't hear outta my left ear

January 20, 2015
I'm not just being a basic white girl when I say 'I literally can't even' right now.... Because I can't.

January 21, 2015
Why is it that people expect things from me but when I ask a favor it's the end of the world?

January 23, 2015
Hahahahahahaha you're dead to me.

January 25, 2015
#gottagetskinny

January 26, 2015
Literally so sick to my stomach.

January 30, 2015
Please stop pretending you care about other people when in reality you care only of yourself. Greatly appreciated.

January 30, 2015
My eyes are burning from the air being so dry.

February 1, 2015
That time when your heart stops because the purse you have been dying to get is on sale and then realize it's not.

February 3, 2015
I guess that whole no matter what I eat I get sick stage is back in my life.

February 3, 2015
No, I'm not pregnant.

February 8, 2015
My anxiety right now.

February 9, 2015
My eyeball stings

February 13, 2015
We need better laws in CT for stalking victims.

February 15, 2015
Why is my stomach killing meeee

February 15, 2015
So emotional today like wtf.

February 16, 2015
So emotional lately that I was crying about how much I love dogs.

February 25, 2015
Really bitch? You're gonna play that game? Let's see who really comes out on top in the end.

February 25, 2015
I seriously don't think I deserve such negativity and asshole behavior from people I don't even know. Like get a life.

February 27, 2015
I'm 26 years old. Why do I feel like I'm 76?!

March 2, 2015
Back is killing me. Going to the chiropractor after work. I feel old.

March 6, 2015
Stressed doesn't even begin to describe what I'm feeling right now.

March 7, 2015
I legit feel like garbage.

March 10, 2015
Timehop has made me realize how boring my life really is. Cool.

March 11, 2015
I don't know why I wasn't prescribed Vicodin or something. Not that I would have taken it, it upsets my stomach.

March 11, 2015
Here's to hoping this pain subsides for longer than 3 hours.

March 12, 2015
About to go to the dentist and just ask for novocaine.

March 13, 2015
Literally go away.

March 14, 2015
I can go from 0 to annoyed real quick

March 14, 2015
Am I seriously getting sick again.....?

March 18, 2015
Today is like a punch in the face. I knew from the moment I heard the snow plow it was gonna be a shitty day.

March 18, 2015
I don't wish bad on anyone. Except the DMV. They can all go straight to hell.

March 20, 2015
A recent study found that internet trolls are more likely to be sadists, psychopaths, and narcissists.

March 24, 2015
Headache from my toothache.

March 31, 2015
The DMV can suck it. There's no reason to be rude to me when I had a simple question. Sorry you hate your job but don't take it out on me

April 7, 2015
Wow this so called justice system we have is a load of shit.

April 9, 2015
What's a girl to do when her husband's best friend's girlfriend whom you hate sends you a friend request?

April 14, 2015
Seriously? They sent home a girl for like the 6th time because she has the sniffles. 😒 like work needs to get done. Ugh

April 17, 2015
I swear to you when I'm done with the DMV they will not ever forget me...Especially the woman who gives me a different answer every single fucking time I go in there to fix this bullshit.

April 17, 2015
Get you're shit together fucktard

April 17, 2015
I have literally never been so angry in my entire life.

April 26, 2015
Seriously the worst upset stomach omg

May 2, 2015
Feeling like garbage..

May 7, 2015
So tired I can't.

May 8, 2015
Why do my neighbors believe they're in the ghetto and blast shitty music throughout the night?

May 8, 2015
Yes I realize it's 10pm on a Friday. Some people work Saturdays. At 4am. Blast your shitty music elsewhere.

May 9, 2015
I need sleep....

May 9, 2015
Why is it that people constantly forget they make plans with me? Like if I'm that boring don't bother.

May 9, 2015
PMSing bad today so bye.

May 9, 2015
I swear I give myself more headaches.....

May 12, 2015
As soon as something good happens, something really shitty happens. Without fail.

May 15, 2015
Starting my 4 day weekend off right. With a massive headache.

3 comments:

  1. FYI, Dear Readers: This shit is probably only funny to me at this point, but I like to post it anyway. I have some ideas about what I want to do with these ridiculously over-the-top examples of narcissism, and I find something very funny about the fact that, since Exhibit A discovered our blogs, she has this pattern of getting irate over the fact that I've copied her own words down somewhere other than a place where she has control over them, making her tweets private, and then publicizing them again some time later (since having a private twitter account probably doesn't rake in enough attention for her). I am amused by the fact that her response to any sort of genuine conflict is to run from it with her tail between her legs, and find that her responses to my postings match very closely the defense mechanisms of all other narcissists I've encountered.

    Keep on rockin' it,

    Jonsi

    ReplyDelete
  2. I'm begging you, Jonsi...no more!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know - I had to read through all this shit one more time before I posted them and I had a whopper of a headache. For fun, I was reading them to DH in my most annoying valley-girl voice. After a short time, DH begged me to stop too and I had to go on reading them to myself. Thus, the headache.

      If I were Exhibit A, I would be LITERALLY dying now. ;)

      Delete