Friday, May 15, 2015

Emotional Sensitivity

One of the unfortunate aspects of having married an ACoN is the lost/glossed-over/distorted personal history he comes with. By little to no fault of his own, DH has a shaky and often unreliable (where it even exists) memory of his childhood and adolescent years. He doesn't have any accurate or verifiable accounts of information to draw from and it is obvious that, even if we had some semblance of relationship with his NFOO, any information we might have received would likely have been either intentionally or unintentionally erroneous anyway. We have no reasonable source anywhere within DH's FOO to direct our questions pertaining to DH's health or medical records, or the health or medical histories of his closest genetic relatives; our view of DH as a baby or toddler is nearly non-existent because DH's memories don't reach that far back; and our understanding of his life as a young boy are limited to DH's spotty memories of himself at that time. Again, even if we had a relationship with NMIL or EFIL, we could not rely on whatever limited information they might have shared with us because their versions of the truth would have been manipulated to the point of absurdity. There is no one to tell us what DH was like as a little boy - what his preferences were, what activities he enjoyed, how long before he slept through the night, what foods he liked to eat, how he handled various social circumstances. So many of those details are lost forever.

There is one sort of miraculous exception to the situation; one way that we can observe with our own eyes what DH might have been like as a little boy, and in some cases, what he would probably have become if he'd grown up in a healthier environment: and that is our first-born son. DS is so like DH in both appearance and personality that it's almost as though we cloned DH's genes and processed them into a younger version of himself. I try not to verbally share these comparisons with DS too often because I don't want the fact that he looks (and often unwittingly acts) like his father to unfairly shape who he becomes or make him feel as though he has little choice in the formation of his identity, though I have admittedly not been one hundred percent successful in this regard. It dawned on me about two years ago (DS is nearly four and a half now) that even though I meant well whenever I made comparisons between he and his Daddy, such ideologies might not be healthy for his developing self. I realized that, while I meant to point out the positive aspects of his features or personality that reminded me of DH, he might also internalize the comparisons on another level and and assume that he also shared DH's flaws. I also worried that making such constant comparisons between DS and DH might undermine our other children's relationships with their daddy (For example, they might think, "If DS is just like Daddy, but I'm not, then what's special about me?) When I occasionally share with DS that some aspect of his character is "like Daddy's," I try to be very specific, use only very positive examples, and to share them in a subtle way.

But the genetic similarities are many, regardless of whether I point them out to DS, and they do give DH and myself a fantastic view of what DH's childhood could have looked like without the harsh and negative impact of abusive parents. In order to see the similarities inherent in their personalities, I have to push aside DH's unhealthy (learned) behaviors and thought-processes and take a deep look at the structure of DH's personality: that part of his identity that couldn't be taken away from him, no matter what his parents did to him. If I could pinpoint the general overarching theme that is apparent in both my husband and our DS, it would be their emotional sensitivity. And sensitivity, in it's natural state, is a wonderful trait to have. People who are emotionally sensitive are, by my estimation, the definition of "sweet." They are in-tune to the emotions of others and it's almost as though they are hard-wired to have empathy. They are pretty much the opposite of narcissists. I have all sorts of theories about how and why narcissists are attracted to emotionally sensitive people, and how and why emotionally sensitive people (if not given the right tools and defense mechanisms) are often attracted to narcissists. DH's sensitivity was used against him in more ways than one: he was trained, by a skilled sociopath (his NM) to be a people-pleaser - to always put the emotional and physical needs of others ahead of his own, often at the expense of himself. And the development of his self-esteem was not only ignored in some cases, but I'd be willing to bet it was strongly discouraged at all times.

But with guidance and support, I believe that emotionally sensitive children can keep that wonderful sensitivity and still have healthy relationships; and that they can develop healthy self-esteem and learn coping mechanisms to deal with the emotional discomfort they naturally feel when the people around them are experiencing emotional upset. They don't have to be doormats. They don't have to feel "less than" or like their feelings and needs don't matter. They don't have to be bullied and pushed around. As we watch DS grow up, we are seeing exactly why it was so easy for NMIL to do what she did to DH, why it was so easy for her to mold him into a narcissist's wet dream. Like DH, DS doesn't seem to have started life with very much in the way of self-esteem and I have observed him (literally) laying down in the face of bullies.  Without instruction from me, I think that he would be lost in how to deal with bullies and/or strong personality types. A few weeks ago, while playing at the playground, two boys were being generally aggressive towards my children and at one point, would not let them pass to use the slide. Sometimes, when incidents like this happen, I initially step back (as long as no one is being hurt) to observe how my kids are going to handle the situation. And when they require help or guidance, I step in as needed. I watched DS lay down at the kids' feet and hide his face in his hands. It was obvious that the other boys were acting rudely and aggressively, which was completely uncalled for, and it was painfully obvious that DS didn't have the skills necessary to deal effectively with the kids' rude behavior. When the boys wouldn't budge, DS eventually got up and walked back down the playground structure. I went to him and told him that any time there were children who were being rude or who wouldn't let him do something on the playground, he could firmly say, "Excuse me. I'd like to use the [playground equipment] please." or "Excuse me, it's my turn." When the boys approached DS again (while I was still speaking with him) and began their antics towards him again, I firmly told them, "That's enough. You'll need to find something else to do." I'm hoping that between my direct communication with DS when situations like this arise and through my own example, DS will be able to work through his own discomfort when dealing with aggressors, in such a way that doesn't compromise his health, well-being, and happiness.

Because of his nature, DS is sometimes overlooked by others. On Halloween a few years ago, I noticed that DS was being unintentionally ignored by homeowners while we were trick-or-treating. He was the kid who got stuck behind the door, where they couldn't see him. Or he'd get to the door last and they'd already started passing out candy and didn't notice that he'd lagged behind. Or he'd be in the middle of the crowd and they just didn't realize that they'd missed his pumpkin basket. After this happened once or twice, I started telling DS that he needed to speak up when he didn't get his candy; that he could say, "Excuse me, may I have a candy too please? I didn't get one." It was as though DS was invisible and didn't know how to make himself be seen, or wasn't comfortable in a role where he'd have to force people to pay attention to him. It made me sad for him, and once I thought about it, sad for DH, who not only didn't have someone there for him as a child to give him the words to use, or to help him get his candy when he couldn't find his voice, but who actively worked at destroying the possibility of him finding that voice on his own. I don't believe in speaking for children, I believe in giving them the tools to find their own voices - but sometimes we have to step in, and I did, when DS couldn't work up the courage to say, "Hey, what about me?" But it was an eye-opening experience for me, and for DH too, who got to see so clearly how he was NOT treated as a little boy when he struggled (and still struggles) with the same issues.

It is a personal goal of mine to help DS (and DH!) find his backbone. The incident that sparked my need to write this post happened a couple of days ago, when I was in a particularly bad mood one morning and I was again struck by the uncanny similarity between my son and my husband. DS has recently been somewhat randomly telling me that I am "pretty" or that he thinks such-and-such part of me is pretty. I came downstairs one day wearing a tiny bit of mascara and he gazed at me wonderingly and asked why my eyes were "just so beautiful" and what I had done to make them "so pretty." I don't often wear makeup of any kind, so it was unusual for him to see me that way, I'm sure - but he was also the only one to have noticed or mentioned it and it was a very sweet thing for him to say. He kept mentioning my beautiful eyes through out the day. We were getting in the car one day and he said as he hopped in, "Mom, you're pretty. I like telling you that you're pretty." I always say thank you and tell him that it's a very sweet thing for him to say. So the other morning, I woke up in a bad mood and I was struggling with keeping that attitude to myself. This is not a new struggle for me and I often, admittedly, fail. I tend to take out my anger, sadness, and frustrations on those around me - including, I'm sad to report, my children. But on this particular morning, I was making a conscious effort not to do that. After getting frustrated with DD for her lack of focus during her morning chores (it took at least five reminders for her to get dressed before I finally, not so patiently or gently, told her to "Get dressed NOW!") I went into DS's room to check on his morning progress. He was making his bed when I walked in and I told him he was doing a good job. He said [red flag number one], "Mama, please don't be mad at me."

My issue with this statement/thought-process is two-fold. First, it is a pattern of my behavior that the kids have taken obvious note of, that I DO get angry with them when I have no right to and that is MY fault. And two, in this case I wasn't angry with him but still needed him to understand that anger is an acceptable feeling, it just depends on how we handle it. I took a deep breath and collected my thoughts. I told him that I was not angry with him, that I was mostly frustrated with DD because I'd had to tell her so many times to do something and that my upset didn't have anything to do with him in the moment. I also told him I would try my very hardest not to be angry with him just because I was in a bad mood or frustrated about something else. He nodded and said, "Okay" but then continued, [red flag number two] "Mama, if I tell you that you're pretty, will that make you happy?" And I think my heart broke a little bit - in large part because I knew that I had, thus far, failed at my self-designated task of keeping my children from feeling responsible for my emotional well-being or from being afraid that my negative emotions would be directed at them. But my heart broke for another reason, and that was because I recognized that soul who had taken it upon himself to make his Mama feel better - Isn't that just DH in a nutshell - and isn't that exactly what I don't want for my own children? I think that DS's personality lends itself to this type of situation - he is so in-tune to the emotions of others (particularly his parents at this point) and does not [yet] have the healthy coping mechanisms he needs to deal with the discomfort he experiences when he picks up on negative energy around him that he immediately subconsciously thinks, "What can I do to stop Mom from feeling bad?" - as though it's his responsibility; as though he has any control over the unpleasant emotions of others in order to dispel the negativity from coming in his direction. I suppose the one good thing that can be said here, a main difference between someone like NMIL and myself, is that I don't need, require, or look for such attention from my children. I easily recognized that this thought pattern was not a healthy one for DS to have.

So I took another deep breath and collected my thoughts again. I sat down next to DS on the bed and said, "DS, it is always a very sweet and thoughtful thing to tell me that I am pretty. But it's important that you know that you are not responsible for how I feel. It's okay for people to be angry. And the only person who should make me feel better is me, not you or anyone else. It's my responsibility to make me stop being angry." And again, I reassured him that I was not angry with him.

We got on with our day and eventually I called my mom to tell her what had happened. I asked her if I had handled it the right way and if I said the right things. I asked her what else I could have said or should say in the future and shared with her my concerns that merely saying these things wasn't going to change the fact that somewhere inside of him, DS might still feel that responsibility. My mom told me that I had said the right things and that when the issue inevitably came up again (or in the appropriate moments where I could talk to him about it in the future) I could delve deeper into it by telling him that, though sometimes I do get angry when he behaves a certain way, mostly my anger has nothing to do with him. My mother reminded me that I still needed to work on not directing anger or frustration at the kids, particularly when they were undeserving of it (which is most of the time, though not all the time, since there are definitely times when it is warranted). She also made the same observation I had about DS sharing this particular trait with DH and told me that by saying the things I was saying to him, eventually those words would become a part of his inner dialog - So, when he starts to feel like he needs to do something to stop someone else from feeling something unpleasant (so that he can, in turn, avoid feeling unpleasant too), he'll also be able to say logically, "It's okay that so-and-so feels the way she feels, it's not my responsibility to change it." Ideally, that's what I want for him.

When I shared the story with DH, we talked at length about how important it is for us to give DS a strong set of tools to draw on to deal with this difficult aspect of his sensitivity; what I need to do to stop directing my negativity at the kids; and how, if handled differently, DS could wind up being attracted to people like NMIL. It was DH who realized that, at the hands of a narcissistic parent, emotionally sensitive children often end up becoming people-pleasers, lacking in self-esteem or a strong sense of self. And neither of us wants this for our children.

All this being said, it might seem like I have nothing positive to say about sensitive people or about the similarities between my husband and our son. But the reality is that I believe sensitivity is a trait that should be nurtured, and that DH and DS have it (and other wonderful qualities) in abundance. And I can talk at length about the wonderful similarities between these two wonderful people: Like how they both bounce when they fall; and how they can't seem to walk through a room without somehow kicking their feet in such a way that they make violent connection with objects that seem impossibly far out of the reach of their limbs. They both make the same goofy faces that never fail to make me laugh, and they have an inherent silliness about them that make people smile. They both say and do thoughtful things and notice small details that others might overlook. It's particularly special to me that DS looks so much like DH because I feel like I get to see what little boy DH looked like at different ages and stages without needing the pictures for evidence. They both have naturally muscular bodies, and it really is quite adorable to see a pint-sized (relatively-speaking) version of my husband - I mean, my brothers would probably kill for legs that muscular. They are both gentle and I imagine it would be impossible that they could ever even contemplate bullying someone. DS doesn't have an aggressive bone in his body. I'm hoping we'll be able to locate and strengthen the assertive ones though. Ditto for DH. And both DH and DS are very intelligent - though DH still lacks the esteem to fully recognize it. Everyday I see evidence that DH's genes were particularly dominant when it came to making this wonderfully silly, sweet, intelligent little boy. I have genuine hope that we can give him the skills necessary to have healthy relationships in his life and still feel comfortable being who he was meant to be.

And I will say, while it sucks that we don't have an accurate portrait of DH's personal history - that we have few pictures or videos of his childhood and virtually no personable connection to his past in any way, I think it must suck more for the people who don't get to be a part of DH's personal present or future - a present and future which include the amazing little people we have brought into the world. DH's FOO made their choices and it is they, rather than the Jonsies, who are missing something, every moment of every day. [I salute them with my metaphorical middle finger, as per usual: Sucks to suck, fuckers.]

#likeaspanishsoapopera

The following few posts represent a backlog of tweets from Exhibit A: A Skidmark on the Underpants of Society. Behold [Part 4 of 4]: 

January 2, 2015
I swear to you... If I am sick one more time I'm gonna FREAKING lose it.

January 8, 2015
Can someone come to my house, clean my kitchen and make me ramen? Help a girl out, I'm dyin in bed. I can pay in cake.

January 8, 2015
Can I stop feeling like I want to get sick every 30 minutes...?

January 9, 2015
Literally so tired.

January 12, 2015
My patience is wearing thin.

January 12, 2015
It's nice that after all this time, my family is starting to come back together..

January 13, 2015
Can't hear outta my left ear

January 20, 2015
I'm not just being a basic white girl when I say 'I literally can't even' right now.... Because I can't.

January 21, 2015
Why is it that people expect things from me but when I ask a favor it's the end of the world?

January 23, 2015
Hahahahahahaha you're dead to me.

January 25, 2015
#gottagetskinny

January 26, 2015
Literally so sick to my stomach.

January 30, 2015
Please stop pretending you care about other people when in reality you care only of yourself. Greatly appreciated.

January 30, 2015
My eyes are burning from the air being so dry.

February 1, 2015
That time when your heart stops because the purse you have been dying to get is on sale and then realize it's not.

February 3, 2015
I guess that whole no matter what I eat I get sick stage is back in my life.

February 3, 2015
No, I'm not pregnant.

February 8, 2015
My anxiety right now.

February 9, 2015
My eyeball stings

February 13, 2015
We need better laws in CT for stalking victims.

February 15, 2015
Why is my stomach killing meeee

February 15, 2015
So emotional today like wtf.

February 16, 2015
So emotional lately that I was crying about how much I love dogs.

February 25, 2015
Really bitch? You're gonna play that game? Let's see who really comes out on top in the end.

February 25, 2015
I seriously don't think I deserve such negativity and asshole behavior from people I don't even know. Like get a life.

February 27, 2015
I'm 26 years old. Why do I feel like I'm 76?!

March 2, 2015
Back is killing me. Going to the chiropractor after work. I feel old.

March 6, 2015
Stressed doesn't even begin to describe what I'm feeling right now.

March 7, 2015
I legit feel like garbage.

March 10, 2015
Timehop has made me realize how boring my life really is. Cool.

March 11, 2015
I don't know why I wasn't prescribed Vicodin or something. Not that I would have taken it, it upsets my stomach.

March 11, 2015
Here's to hoping this pain subsides for longer than 3 hours.

March 12, 2015
About to go to the dentist and just ask for novocaine.

March 13, 2015
Literally go away.

March 14, 2015
I can go from 0 to annoyed real quick

March 14, 2015
Am I seriously getting sick again.....?

March 18, 2015
Today is like a punch in the face. I knew from the moment I heard the snow plow it was gonna be a shitty day.

March 18, 2015
I don't wish bad on anyone. Except the DMV. They can all go straight to hell.

March 20, 2015
A recent study found that internet trolls are more likely to be sadists, psychopaths, and narcissists.

March 24, 2015
Headache from my toothache.

March 31, 2015
The DMV can suck it. There's no reason to be rude to me when I had a simple question. Sorry you hate your job but don't take it out on me

April 7, 2015
Wow this so called justice system we have is a load of shit.

April 9, 2015
What's a girl to do when her husband's best friend's girlfriend whom you hate sends you a friend request?

April 14, 2015
Seriously? They sent home a girl for like the 6th time because she has the sniffles. 😒 like work needs to get done. Ugh

April 17, 2015
I swear to you when I'm done with the DMV they will not ever forget me...Especially the woman who gives me a different answer every single fucking time I go in there to fix this bullshit.

April 17, 2015
Get you're shit together fucktard

April 17, 2015
I have literally never been so angry in my entire life.

April 26, 2015
Seriously the worst upset stomach omg

May 2, 2015
Feeling like garbage..

May 7, 2015
So tired I can't.

May 8, 2015
Why do my neighbors believe they're in the ghetto and blast shitty music throughout the night?

May 8, 2015
Yes I realize it's 10pm on a Friday. Some people work Saturdays. At 4am. Blast your shitty music elsewhere.

May 9, 2015
I need sleep....

May 9, 2015
Why is it that people constantly forget they make plans with me? Like if I'm that boring don't bother.

May 9, 2015
PMSing bad today so bye.

May 9, 2015
I swear I give myself more headaches.....

May 12, 2015
As soon as something good happens, something really shitty happens. Without fail.

May 15, 2015
Starting my 4 day weekend off right. With a massive headache.

#likeliterally

The following few posts represent a backlog of tweets from Exhibit A: A Skidmark on the Underpants of Society. Behold [Part 3 of 4]:

July 1, 2014
Just found out one of the anons I follow is from my town.

July 1, 2014
Do not take advantage of me. You will regret it.

July 1, 2014
Remind me again why I'm a nice person?

July 1, 2014
I hope you rot in hell.

July 4, 2014
I'm literally so tired.

July 7, 2014
Why are you still here.........

July 8, 2014
So beyond done.

July 8, 2014
Can't believe my fucking neighbors. Leaving their dog outside all day and all night. Guess he'll find a new home tomorrow!

July 9, 2014
Anyone looking to adopt a male chubby chihuahua? My neighbors clearly don't care about him... He's so sweet!

July 10, 2014
Why are so many people requesting to follow me on insta

July 12, 2014
Hey a holes who like to poke fun of me for taking selfies. Fuck off.

July 13, 2014
So not feeling well today........

July 13, 2014
Super nostalgic tonight & I just wanna cry in bed....

July 13, 2014
Whether we talk or not, I still love you & miss you.

July 14, 2014
Starting to think maybe a Beetle wasn't such a wise choice as a car. I need a bigger one.....Maybe I'll just get another.

July 16, 2014
I follow 161 people on Instagram. I'd say about 10 are people I know. The rest are people I've never met & wish I did.

July 20, 2014
I love when phone updates take like, an hour. It's not like I need to use it or anything. Or go to sleep.

July 20, 2014
I love sleeping a total of three hours.

July 20, 2014
I need to let things go. To have a positive life, I need a clear & positive mind.

July 22, 2014
The reason I'm mad? You said you'd never be the person that you are today.

July 22, 2014
Wow. Two years ago today was my bridal shower.

July 23, 2014
FUCKING. LIVID.

July 23, 2014
I will find you thieves. And you will pay.

July 23, 2014
Maybe instead of stealing, you could get a fucking job you low life.

July 24, 2014
I pulled finger/hand muscles

July 24, 2014
But it really does hurt & I want a hand massage stat.

July 27, 2014
Bruised the bottom of my foot?!

July 28, 2014
Princess has 8 letters, and so does meeeeeee. Coincidence? I think not

July 29, 2014
Gah you anger me to my very core.

July 30, 2014
Such a hypocrite.

July 30, 2014
Takin selfies while I should have been asleep an hour and a half ago #judgeme

July 31, 2014
Bout to put you in your place.

August 3, 2014
I feel like crap

August 4, 2014
People change and most of the time they change into the person they always said they wouldn't.

August 4, 2014
Holy headache

August 7, 2014
Here's to hoping I don't stab someone at work

August 8, 2014
All of a sudden everyone is irritating me.

August 9, 2014
No matter who you let in your life, If God doesn't want them there, They wont stay.

August 10, 2014
Do I honestly look over 30?

August 11, 2014
My one day to sleep in and my next door neighbors have roofers fixing their roof.

August 12, 2014
My heart just hurts.

August 12, 2014
I hate that people complain about Whole Foods being expensive. Obviously it costs more to buy organic natural food that's better for you.

August 12, 2014
The amount of people that cannot seem to take care if their children and pets is astounding. Why are you alive.

August 14, 2014
[Pics of the beach in our town]

August 14, 2014
My heart is hurting. I don't know what to do.

August 15, 2014
Can I please feel better...?!

August 18, 2014
Happy two year anniversary to my king. You make me so incredibly happy to know I have a strong man…

August 19, 2014
Stressed beyond words. Where are my plane tickets outta hereeeee?!

August 19, 2014
I swear to you, if I see one more Ice Bucket Challenge, I'm gonna lose it.

August 21, 2014
Awful headache

August 22, 2014
Always get bitched at, never get to bitch.

August 22, 2014
It's always my fault. How does that happen? How is it never anyone else's fault?

August 22, 2014
I actually don't think I could be more done than I am right now.

August 22, 2014
Am I that shitty of a person that everything is always my fault?

August 23, 2014
This ongoing stress headache that I've had for about a week now is getting on my nerves. I don't have time to pop some Advil and nap.

August 23, 2014
Mama needs a foot massage.

August 23, 2014
Fuck me, right?

August 29, 2014
YAYAYAY! Excited for another nephew!!

August 30, 2014
Bye bitch

September 1, 2014
So, I rarely go on my tumblr anymore. But I logged on this morning, I was bored & realized an "anon" I'm following lives in [town next-door to her].

September 1, 2014
Sucks to suck

September 1, 2014
Literally so irritated. Answer your phone.

September 2, 2014
It isn't fair

September 2, 2014
Maybe instead of talking behind my back to everyone, you should talk to me if you have a problem? I don't know, seems mature, right?

September 3, 2014
So incredibly angry already.

September 6, 2014
Literally so sick to my stomach.

September 6, 2014
I feel like if people actually read my tweets they'll think I'm bipolar or a psycho.

September 7, 2014
I literally feel like death.

September 7, 2014
Been doing cakes for 5 or 6 years now, and I just posted them on a forum. Let's just say I don't know why I waited so long. :)

September 8, 2014
So happy to hear that Christine is still raving about her wedding cake I did for her two months ago. Makes me proud.

September 10, 2014
My back is killing meee

September 14, 2014
Why is it so hard to acquire $100,000? -_- I just need a bakery of my own.

September 16, 2014
My allergies are so bad today

September 16, 2014
My head is pounding

September 18, 2014
IVE BEEN AT WORK SINCE 9AM AND NO ONE TOLD MY I HAD A RIP IN MY JEANS AND MY BUTT CHEEK WAS STICKING OUT

September 20, 2014
Good thing I don't have an emergency. No one ever answers their phone.

September 22, 2014
Literally everything is making me so angry today...

September 22, 2014
I seriously hate the USPS. Stop not delivering my packages because I'm not home. Just leave it. No one is going to steal it.

September 22, 2014
Not being on medication anymore is killinggggg my poor tummy.

September 22, 2014
So happy that I'm fixing relationships I thought I'd lost forever. It may take time, but it's worth it.

September 23, 2014
Stomach is still killing me. Someone help

September 26, 2014
Haven't had an ear infection since I was 6.. Made it almost 20 years!

September 27, 2014
You're getting on my nerves......

September 27, 2014
So yesterday just my right ear hurt & now both ears and my throat hurt

September 27, 2014
You anger me to my very core......

September 27, 2014
All I wanted was a normal family. And by normal I meant family members who actually act like adults rather than bratty children.

September 27, 2014
At my fucking wit's end

September 28, 2014
Hashtag you're annoying

September 29, 2014
Whatever this illness is needs to get the fuckkk out of my system asap.

September 29, 2014
I seriously cannot even do this anymore.

October 1, 2014
Angry

October 3, 2014
Pink acrylics, juicy iPhone case, fake tan, white dress to show off fake tan, Tiffany's bracelet & coach purse...yes that's me circa 2010

October 4, 2014
I keep thinking okay this is the worst. And then more shit happens.

October 6, 2014
Why do you think the divorce rate is so high? Ridiculous. Makes me so mad!

October 6, 2014
In so much pain and I can't take any medication.. :(

October 6, 2014
I'm 99% sure this isn't just tendonitis.

October 10, 2014
I really want to start a blog, but I feel like literally no one would read it. Hahaha

October 11, 2014
I hate that I get annoyed at little things.

October 12, 2014
The pain I'm experiencing is unreal.

October 13, 2014
I have exactly ZERO fucks to give today.

October 13, 2014
My anger lately is out of control.

October 16, 2014
A recent study found that internet trolls are more likely to be sadists, psychopaths, and narcissists.

October 17, 2014
Literally feel like death

October 18, 2014
If you wanted to be treated like an adult, then start acting like one. Really nothing else I can say.

October 19, 2014
Wait why do I have a fever.....

October 21, 2014
Wow. That was shitty.

October 21, 2014
This seriously fucking blows. I'm so done. I don't care about Halloween, thanksgiving or christmas anymore. Everyone ruins it.

October 21, 2014
Sorry for being bipolar. But not really.

October 21, 2014
I need a fucking Valium.

October 21, 2014
@CousinIt at least your family actually wants to see each other even if you fight. Not mine.

October 23, 2014
Literally passing out. I'm so tired.

October 23, 2014
Gonna be a nervous wreck all damn day

October 23, 2014
It makes me mad when prisoners try and fight for their rights while in prison.

October 23, 2014
You LOST those rights when you committed a crime.

October 23, 2014
Makes me so mad.

October 23, 2014
I am literally going I lose it. I'm about to become a fucking lawyer and do whatever I can so I can one day run for president.

October 23, 2014
I will promise you, the dmv and anyone who works there will be fucking GONE. Not one person can help and are so rude it's astounding.

October 23, 2014
I hope the DMV & anyone who is associated with it goes up in flames.

October 24, 2014
I'm gonna need to go to the gun range after today.

October 24, 2014
I'm having chest pain from all this stress and anger.

October 24, 2014
Is there an emotion worse than infuriated? If so, that's what I am.

October 26, 2014
Sometimes the best way to get someone's attention is to stop giving them yours.

October 26, 2014
Entirely too many emotions for me to handle right now.

October 27, 2014
Sick of people telling me I can't accomplish something because it's too hard. #icandothis

October 30, 2014
So aggravated right now.......

November 1, 2014
TODAY IS MY FAVORITE DAY. IT WILL NOT BE RUINED.

November 3, 2014
I honestly don't even know what to do about my foot, I'm in that much pain...

November 4, 2014
Not apologizing for bettering myself.

November 7, 2014
I seriously hate when someone is trying to have a conversation with me & I respond & they don't respond back. I saw you read it.

November 7, 2014
I don't like how sometimes people ask why I have certain tattoos, or what they stand for...Yes, some of them have meaning behind them, but me trying to explain it isn't going to make you understand how deeply I feel...And sometimes, I just wanted it. I don't need an explanation on why I have a cupcake tattoo.

November 8, 2014
Seriously so angry. I can't.

November 10, 2014
Wowww, just found out a couple I did a wedding cake for got divorced. So crazy...

November 11, 2014
It's really shitty how some people can be so selfish.

November 11, 2014
Maybe instead of getting high every day you could get a fucking job and contribute to society.

November 11, 2014
Don't bite the hand that feeds you.

November 12, 2014
Am I seriously getting a stye right now?!

November 12, 2014
Be an adult and do the right thing...

November 12, 2014
Doing my hair and it looks like I'm doing a photo shoot for my MySpace back in like 2004.....

November 15, 2014
Please ignore my face & the fact that I'm 25 with wrinkles but I'm thinking this mascara is a keeper.

November 16, 2014
You're going to have no one left.

November 16, 2014
I'm literally so fucking sick of people not getting along literally for the dumbest reasons. Like grow up. Or we're done.

November 17, 2014
Don't feel well

November 18, 2014
Drinking red wine on a Monday night because why the hey not...

November 18, 2014
I'm drunk oafter one glass haaayyyy

November 18, 2014
Red wine makes this girl sleepyyy

November 18, 2014
Why am I hungry...

November 19, 2014
Done with this day and it's only 10:30......

November 19, 2014
Sick with a fever in class and I work at 6 tomorrow morning

November 22, 2014
This headache though

November 22, 2014
Mmm, Nauzene & ginger ale for dinner... My ideal Saturday night

November 26, 2014
My throat though...

November 27, 2014
Guys I feel like death. On my favorite holiday.

November 28, 2014
Can I stop feeling like craaaap

November 29, 2014
Whadda bitchhhhh.....

November 30, 2014
Why do doctors give you giant horse pills when you have a sore throat..?

December 3, 2014
Literally so tired from all this medication. Caaaaan I sleep now?

December 8, 2014
my heart is broken

December 10, 2014
Love how my landlord only answers me when rent is due.

December 12, 2014
So incredibly mentally physically & emotionally exhausted....

December 14, 2014
Selfie central up in here.

December 15, 2014
Please send good vibes my way!

December 15, 2014
Starving. Someone bring snacks.

December 18, 2014
Were just the prettiest girls in the worldddd. #tbt #sopretty #ithurts

December 20, 2014
WHY ARE MY EYEBALLS SO ITCHY.

December 22, 2014
Anger doesn't even begin to describe what I'm feeling right now.

December 23, 2014
It's a shitshow

December 24, 2014
Loved waking up to a text that baby [full name] has made his appearance early! Cannot wait to meet you baby boy!!! [Picture of random baby]

December 24, 2014
It would be a Christmas miracle if this cough was gone tomorrow.

December 26, 2014
Cannot wait to meet you sweet baby girl [Picture of a different random baby]

December 26, 2014
You're just a shit jerk dick fucker assholer

December 28, 2014
Planning my own birthday. I feel like other people should be... But I'm a freak and need to do it myself.

December 29, 2014
Wait... Why aren't my "Facebook friends" a fan of my page....? -_-

#lackingdepthofintellectandknowledge

The following few posts represent a backlog of tweets from Exhibit A: A Skidmark on the Underpants of Society. Behold [Part 2 of 4]:

January 1, 2014
I now understand why you did what you did & I forgive you.

January 1, 2014
All I want for my birthday is someone to invest in my business.

January 2, 2014
Why are there so many A HOLES IN THIS WORLD.

January 3, 2014
I hate when I hear of someone I know naming their baby after my unborn child! Hahaha, but seriously.

January 4, 2014
Wind burn from being in the FREEZING COLD ALL DAY.

January 4, 2014
Mug from my mama in law. She spoils me.

January 4, 2014
What's yours is ours & what's mine is mine. #princessprobz

January 5, 2014
I'm already drunk.

January 6, 2014
I need a massage like stat.

January 7, 2014
@mildlyfamousperson my birthday is Saturdayyy!!

January [X]
It's my birthday!

January [X]
#birthday #happybirthday #itsmybirthday #ecards #whatup

January 11, 2014
Since when is it attractive to wear leggings with big socks over them and slip ons?? #ugly

January 11, 2014
Thanks dick.

January 12, 2014
I hope some of my family comes to brunch tomorrow.. We'll see.

January 12, 2014
Birthday brunch with people I love.

January 12, 2014
I'm hungry and tired

January 12, 2014
Selfie Sunday because I'm bored. Or something.

January 12, 2014
This headache will not go awaaaayyy..

January 13, 2014
Things are starting to turn around. So very thankful for these lessons.

January 13, 2014
[Sister's first name] stories about her fights..

January 13, 2014
My rings #diamond #engagement #wedding #love

January 14, 2014
Loser status right here. Been on my computer all night downloading custom content to make beautiful Sims homes... #sorryimnotsorry

January 15, 2014
Midnight snack. Shut up I'm starving for whatever reason.

January 15, 2014
I miss my old hair stylist #firstworldproblems

January 15, 2014
Hoping I get one of these jobs I just applied for! Keeping my fingers crossed.

January 15, 2014
Weeded through the people I follow on Instagram and followed some new ones. Loving my timeline!!

January 16, 2014
I'm getting so irritated

January 17, 2014
Literally me...[I'm so guarded, it destroys me. I don't want to believe that anyone wants to be nice to me.]

January 19, 2014
This headache

January 20, 2014
I can promise you if directv doesn't show up again today I will in fact lose it.

January 25, 2014
Can I not be an adult anymore? I don't feel like paying $3000 for something that should have been fixed years ago. And wasn't even my fault.

January 26, 2014
Real mature..

January 26, 2014
Let down..

January 26, 2014
Can't wait to have my OWN family.....

January 27, 2014
Migraine. And I'm not allowed to take anything this morning..

January 28, 2014
SO HUNGRY

January 28, 2014
About to snap..

January 28, 2014
I can honestly say, from the bottom of my heart, I hate you.

January 28, 2014
Two nights in a row I've thrown my dinner out because I was so angry. I'm so hungry now.

January 29, 2014
Sick to my stomach...

January 29, 2014
Prayin on a miracle

January 29, 2014
Can't stop coughing

January 30, 2014
Physically and emotionally exhausted... I can't sleep

January 30, 2014
I HATE MOVING MORE THAN ANYTHINGGGGGG!!!!!!

January 31, 2014
Please let me sleep tonight..

January 31, 2014
Can't catch a break it seems....

February 1, 2014
Who wants to be my business partner?

February 1, 2014
I need a vacation.....

February 4, 2014
Love when people tell me things I already know.........

February 6, 2014
I am such an adult...

February 6, 2014
As bad as it was, as bad as it hurt, I thank God I didn't get what I thought that I deserved

February 6, 2014
Can't even believe I just broke my toe...

February 6, 2014
Can't wait to pick up my new caaaar

February 8, 2014
Literally so done. Words cannot express how done I am.

February 16, 2014
Annoyed from earlier... Hard to wrap my brain around it.

February 16, 2014
Close to deleting all social media except for things involving my business.

February 17, 2014
Love when girls post "glad to know who my real friends are" when they aren't even being real friends themselves.

February 17, 2014
Nothing but a hypocrite.

February 18, 2014
I need more positive people in my life..

February 19, 2014
My beautiful flowers my husband sent to me today for no reason

February 19, 2014
I can't win.

February 19, 2014
Gahhhhh I hate you

February 22, 2014
Starving. Someone bring me a parfait please.

February 23, 2014
More lemon cookies today. Delivering them to my in laws and neighbors! (Only the ones I like though..)

February 23, 2014
Thanks for making the decision soooo much easier for me..

February 23, 2014
Praying I get this job! :)

February 23, 2014
Although if I do, I'll need to have surgery before I can start... -_-

February 27, 2014
My tweet wasn't about you, but hey if the shoe fits...

February 27, 2014
I swear if I catch what my mother has before tomorrow I'll be so pissed!

March 1, 2014
My doctor's appointment cannot come soon enough...

March 1, 2014
Wowwww. #seriously #done

March 1, 2014
Wow that's a shitty way of showing that you "care."

March 2, 2014
Dirty bit.

March 3, 2014
Worst migraine

March 5, 2014
My daddy is the best!

March 5, 2014
Surround yourself with positive people and positive things will happen

March 6, 2014
My hair is so heavy it's giving me a headache

March 8, 2014
Constantly having a headache is exhausting..

March 10, 2014
So since nobody got me anything for my birthday except [thing1] and [thing2], maybe someone could buy me tickets to Charleston?

March 13, 2014
In so much pain & I can't even take pain meds

March 14, 2014
Anxiety got me up like

March 15, 2014
I'm so impatient it's ridiculous.

March 15, 2014
can you not

March 15, 2014
Just saw two pregnancy announcements on Facebook.. It's that time of year!

March 16, 2014
A huge weight has been lifted from my shoulders

March 17, 2014
I hate those dreams where it makes you annoyed with someone even more than you already are..

March 17, 2014
MY PATIENCE IS WEARING THIN!

March 18, 2014
Legit the most annoying youths are at panera right now....

March 18, 2014
I hope I wasn't that annoying in high school.. #shutuppppppp

March 20, 2014
Sucks to suck

March 20, 2014
Literally sitting next to the most crackheads I've ever seen in one place...I swear all the crackheads were gravitating toward us today.

March 20, 2014
Get to go to the doctor/hospital tomorrow. #legitbrokemyfoot #again

March 20, 2014
I really enjoy being ignored.

March 20, 2014
I really want to have a food blog but it would just be me rambling on about how much I love food. No one would read it.

March 22, 2014
Even though I just got a pedicure, I want another!

March 22, 2014
Lab rats navigate through a maze 50% faster after being exposed to my vagina.

March 23, 2014
I just want a pedi for the foot massage

March 24, 2014
Are your tweets about me? YES, YOU SELF-CENTERED BITCH, YES THEY ARE, EVEN MY TWEET ABOUT THE WEATHER, YES EVERYTHING

March 24, 2014
Wow what an asshole

March 24, 2014
Oh I was going to tweet you, but you don't follow me anymore so... #coolbeans #mature #byeee

March 24, 2014
I should just change the channel rather than vent about these idiots, hah.

March 25, 2014
Dying over Lilypulitzers spring collection. #needthemall

March 26, 2014
I keep getting calls from an Unknown Caller.... -_-

March 26, 2014
Nonstop with these heart palpitations today...

March 26, 2014
you won't find me, the past is so behind me

March 26, 2014
I have a problem.

March 27, 2014
Waking up with a headache <

March 27, 2014
My back is killing me

March 27, 2014
Word up [selfie - containing a small portion of chin and a large portion of tits]

March 30, 2014
Why do I always wake up with headaches?

April 1, 2014
If you don't agree with my life, y'all can leave. It's my life, not yours. #myway

April 1, 2014
Anyone have $4500 I can have?

April 1, 2014
I am literally the most impatient person I know.

April 1, 2014
HURRY THE FUCK UP.

April 1, 2014
Literally everyone is getting my my last nerve tonight. #BYE

April 1, 2014
"not everyone you lose is a loss"

April 2, 2014
Anxiety is through the roooooof.

April 5, 2014
Literally everyone and everything is irritating me. I swear if one more realtor calls me today I'm gonna lose it.

April 5, 2014
Awesome parenting.. Leaving your infant alone on the floor of the dollar store.

April 6, 2014
OMFGGGGGG

April 8, 2014
I need a glass of wine. Or a case.

April 8, 2014
I have the best family

April 9, 2014
What I've eaten in the past 24 hours: half a cheeseburger & a bite of cheesecake.

April 10, 2014
Headache

April 10, 2014
So stressed I made myself sick..

April 12, 2014
YAYAYAYYYY SEAN CAAAAMMEEE

April 13, 2014
Anxiety is almost unbearable tonight. Think I'm just gonna go to bed.

April 15, 2014
Second time in a week I've woken up with a headache

April 17, 2014
Literally so tired.

April 17, 2014
So exhausted

April 18, 2014
Worst headache

April 20, 2014
So tired

April 20, 2014
Completely drained.......

April 21, 2014
Just had the most terrifying experience.

April 22, 2014
I cannot stand conspiracy theorists. Read a book.

April 24, 2014
Literally have zero patience today..

April 26, 2014
If anyone wants to get me a pedicure I'll love you til the end of time #myfeethurt

April 27, 2014
My tummy hurts....

April 28, 2014
Wowwww bitchhhhh

April 28, 2014
Really hate when certain people think it's a flaw of mine that I like to help other people.

April 28, 2014
Maybe if you actually cared about other people besides yourself..

April 28, 2014
What a sad life you live to criticize others for helping.

April 28, 2014
It's how I was raised. I'm not going to sit there and watch someone suffer while I can easily lend a hand.

May 3, 2014
You've had your chance

May 5, 2014
Wow. Are you serious?

May 6, 2014
Maybe get your own life in order before lecturing me on how to live mine.

May 8, 2014
The right people who belong in your life will always find a way to stay.

May 10, 2014
Literally so tired

May 11, 2014
I'm totally just gonna be in an awful mood all day tomorrow.

May 12, 2014
Some people.....

May 13, 2014
Devil's Due makes me not want to get pregnant

May 15, 2014
I hate dreams that make you instantly angry when you wake up

May 17, 2014
Seriously

May 18, 2014
Sore throat for 2 whole weeks now

May 18, 2014
Believe it or not, some people are actually happy in their marriages.

May 18, 2014
Not everyone who gets married young is miserable. Remind yourself that we CHOSE this life.

May 18, 2014
If you don't wanna be married, great. But don't give people shit who decide to do it.

May 18, 2014
Not feelin so hot.....

May 19, 2014
My ears are killing meeeee

May 21, 2014
Nobody likes you.

May 21, 2014
When people just let their phone ring instead of hitting ignore or silent them if they don't want to answer......

May 22, 2014
Just got a phone call from a woman who had a baby shower and wanted to tell me she absolutely loved the cake pops!

May 23, 2014
Y'all think this is a game but I stopped playing long ago.

May 26, 2014
withdrawals

May 27, 2014
So tired....

May 30, 2014
Headache like woahhhh

June 1, 2014
but why am I sad

June 1, 2014
Literally so fed up

June 1, 2014
Omg so tired

June 3, 2014
I'm not who I used to be anymore. I like myself better now.

June 3, 2014
I'm literally done with today.

June 4, 2014
Of all 5 people I talk to, none of them are answering me.

June 6, 2014
I'm literally so tired.

June 8, 2014
I know 7 people that are pregnant.... #babyfever

June 9, 2014
If only you knew what they say behind your back, you wouldn't be so loyal.

June 10, 2014
Can't sleep. Too many emotions. Mainly anger & frustration.

June 10, 2014
It's too bad it ended this way. I'd say I could fix it but I'm not the problem.

June 10, 2014
Maybe one day you'll see. As for now, you're completely blind.

June 10, 2014
Waiting for an apology that'll never come.....

June 15, 2014
Sorry I'm clearly PMSing or something.

June 16, 2014
I'll never understand why girls have to be so petty and jealous. Grow up

June 17, 2014
My hip feels like it popped out wtf

June 18, 2014
I got one less problem without ya

June 19, 2014
Keep ya mouth closed.

June 19, 2014
Brat.

June 19, 2014
dick move, guy..

June 20, 2014
Y'all better straighten up before I jerk a knot in your tail...

June 20, 2014
Back on snapchat. Find meeee

June 22, 2014
Please continue to ignore me. Thanks.

June 22, 2014
Wow. Yeah I'm def done. Good fucking bye.

June 23, 2014
Back at the dr.

June 23, 2014
If you're mocking me, seriously stop. I could have sworn we had already graduated high school.

June 25, 2014
I was at the dr two days ago and I was told PT would fix it within 6 weeks. I need a solution NOW.

June 25, 2014
So many BS conversations today

June 26, 2014
Wow. Bitch.

June 26, 2014
I literally can't today.

June 26, 2014
In one of those moods where I could literally be alone all day with no communication whatsoever and be totally content.

June 28, 2014
So irritated...

June 29, 2014
This is a bad headache......

#stupiddaikini

The following few posts represent a backlog of tweets from Exhibit A: A Skidmark on the Underpants of Society. Behold [Part 1 of 4]:

July 1, 2013
It was really dumb of me to forget to take my anxiety meds last night.

July 2, 2013
Woke up with the WORST headache...

July 3, 2013
How come no one ever answers me..?

July 4, 2013
I've said it before & I'll say it again. The 4th of July will be my last party. Over 70 invited and maybe 10 are coming. #done!

July 6, 2013
Getting progressively more annoyed by the minute..

July 7, 2013
Done with the BS. No, this isn't meant for people to ask what's wrong, either.. I just need to vent. Thanks.

July 8, 2013
Bless her heart, she doesn't even know she's tacky..

July 13, 2013
It's funny how people change as we get older.

July 14, 2013
Never push a loyal person to the point where they no longer give a damn.

July 14, 2013
Awful headache

July 16, 2013
I have an online shopping problem...Well, it's really just shopping in general.

July 18, 2013
Can't believe people actually have the time and energy to harass people constantly online. It's sad, really. #arentyoulike30

July 18, 2013
Headache and sick to my stomach all day..

July 18, 2013
At least I didn't have to trick my husband into marrying me... #yikes

July 19, 2013
Feel like crappppp

July 22, 2013
And the headache continues..

July 29, 2013
No big deal, I'll just forget you exist too

July 29, 2013
I am in the worst mood... #watchout

July 31, 2013
THE CAR SALESMAN THOUGHT MY DAD & I WERE MY HUSBAND'S PARENTS..... #geethanks

August 3, 2013
Wow.. Still trying to piss me off. I mean, it's working. But it's real sad.

August 8, 2013
Time magazine is interviewing my boss. #sweet

August 14, 2013
Feel like death

August 15, 2013
My anxiety right now, though...

August 18, 2013
It's crazy that just one year ago today I was in the hair salon getting ready for my wedding..

August 22, 2013
I feel like I'm always nice to people, especially strangers when I'm having a bad day.. Why don't I ever get it in return?

August 23, 2013
SHUT THE HELL UP. YOU ARE ANNOYING.

August 23, 2013
Suicidal people who walk into traffic are so fucking selfish.. How do you think the people that saw it happen are going to cope?! #asshole

August 27, 2013
Oh yeah, real mature..

August 28, 2013
Woke up with a migraine

September 6, 2013
I find it weird that certain people take screen shots of my snapchats..

September 20, 2013
Spoiled little brat..

October 3, 2013
Get off your high horse...... You're just looking for attention.

October 3, 2013
Wait, can you not act like a child?

October 3, 2013
I'm the best wife ever

October 4, 2013
Was tempted to send this to a certain psychopath yesterday to honor Mean Girls Appreciation Day. [Pic: Why are you so obsessed with me?]...Maybe next year, if I'm still dealing with this BS.

October 6, 2013
Why does it feel like my throat is closing..?!

October 6, 2013
My ears are killingggg me

October 10, 2013
God forbid you actually did something for someone other than yourself..

October 11, 2013
Can my headache please go away? Or at the very least, start to get better?  

October 15, 2013
I'm going to snap any minute.......

October 15, 2013
So frustrated I can't even

October 16, 2013
You're like, really pissing me off

October 17, 2013
Can I feel better already?

October 18, 2013
My throat is killing meeeeee...

October 18, 2013
JACKASS

October 19, 2013
And the stress keeps building....

October 20, 2013
Love that people beg for me to throw a party, but I don't think they're actually coming? We'll see.

October 20, 2013
Getting real irritated.

October 20, 2013
Love making plans and then they get canceled because of real dumb shit. Much appreciated.

October 20, 2013
Fuckin over it...

October 20, 2013
Why are you still in my dreams...? #Pleasegoaway

October 21, 2013
No one is awake to talk to meee...

October 22, 2013
My back feels like it's been crunched...

October 22, 2013
It takes about 3.4 seconds for me to go from "this is the best day ever" to "I want to stab every human being on planet Earth"

October 25, 2013
I'm done being the one that drops everything for someone and never getting anything in return. Maybe you could at least pretend to care.

October 25, 2013
So fucking done with this day.

October 26, 2013
My beautiful crown #tiara #crown #princess #blonde

October 30, 2013
So.. When I get pregnant, I won't be able to have an epidural... -_-

November 1, 2013
Drunk snapchat selfie

November 3, 2013
Someone bring me a mimosa in bed please?

November 8, 2013
I need a foot massage STAT.

November 9, 2013
Dressing immodestly is like rolling around in manure. You'll definitely get attention, but mostly from pigs.

November 9, 2013
When people don't answer my texts.. #petpeeves #Iknowyoureadit

November 9, 2013
I just got called darlin by a handsome country boy

November 11, 2013
Really wish I could throw a Christmas party this year.... :(

November 11, 2013
What you say about other people says more about you than it does about them

November 11, 2013
Fucking over this day.

November 15, 2013
Headache still isn't gone from this morning...

November 16, 2013
Irritated.

November 18, 2013
Starbucks bathroom selfie? Sure.. #bathroom #pic #selfie #starbucks #polkadot #blonde

November 21, 2013
I swear it never ends..

November 24, 2013
My leg is killing me. From what you ask? Being tired.... I thought that only happened when I was little?

November 24, 2013
Worst headache right now

November 24, 2013
Literally hate everyone right now.

November 25, 2013
2 things.. 1) why is no one awake when I wanna talk..?

November 25, 2013
New whip soo

November 26, 2013
I need a naaaap

November 27, 2013
Can't sleep.....

November 27, 2013
Feel like death. Someone please bring me some Starbucks.

November 27, 2013
Feeling extremely anxious.

November 27, 2013
Brat.

November 27, 2013
I will literally do anything for a foot & back massage right now...

November 28, 2013
Very thankful for my wonderful husband who puts up with me more than most people would.

November 28, 2013
Wow you guys are assholes. Done trying!

November 29, 2013
I'm done giving people so many chances. Seriously. I'm not trying anymore, it's too exhausting & I get nothing out of it.

November 29, 2013
So. Tired.

November 30, 2013
Seriously the most annoying people.....

November 30, 2013
Done with the fake bullshit

November 30, 2013
do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren’t even talking

November 30, 2013
COOL THANKS FOR ANSWERING ME

November 30, 2013
REALLY APPRECIATE IT

December 1, 2013
I am literally getting so irritated......

December 1, 2013
Literally going to stab someone.

December 2, 2013
Brat.

December 4, 2013
I have 0 patience today.

December 5, 2013
My ears are killing me

December 6, 2013
You should probably stay away from me today.. I haven't slept more than 5 hours every night this week & I have a lot to do today...

December 6, 2013
There were just 6 gunshots outside.......

December 6, 2013
My patience is less than 0 today.

December 6, 2013
Lost it. Hey, I warned ya..

December 6, 2013
I need an assistant. STAT.

December 7, 2013
Whoever brings me a Venti Caramel Brûlée latte with extra topping gets a free cupcake! LEGGOOOO

December 7, 2013
I literally have the most annoying Instagram. Like it's so boring.

December 8, 2013
Buncha bitches, that's what you are.

December 10, 2013
Can't believe I'm gonna be 25 in one month...

December 11, 2013
I really hope people come to my birthday this year.. #pathetictweet

December 12, 2013
This sore throat better be joking with me right now.

December 12, 2013
I really enjoy when I type out a long text and you don't respond.

December 13, 2013
Was really trying to be in a good mood, but people....

December 13, 2013
AND AGAIN. Like why?

December 13, 2013
I don't even know.

December 13, 2013
I don't even care.

December 13, 2013
Fake. Fake. Fake.

December 15, 2013
Beginning to wonder if being a bitch will get me further than being a sweetheart.

December 15, 2013
Drunk selfie? OF COURSE!

December 16, 2013
What a doucheeeee.

December 17, 2013
Been up since 2:30. Still can't sleep.

December 18, 2013
Just what I needed today......... Fucking black ice

December 19, 2013
I love when people have ZERO manners. ESPECIALLY around the holidays.

December 20, 2013
My poor mama is one of the people dealing with the issues at Target...

December 20, 2013
Hey people who steal other people's money, GET YOUR OWN. Maybe get an education and a job.

December 20, 2013
I. HATE. PEOPLE. WHO. DON'T. SAY. THANK YOU!!!!!

December 22, 2013
My three ways of drunk: 1. No way 2. Yes way. 3. Three way.

December 22, 2013
Why is it that I wake up with a headache or migraine like 4 days out of the week?!

December 22, 2013
You're seriously the worst.

December 22, 2013
Finally getting my wedding album printed and I'm like crying.

December 22, 2013
These pictures bring back memories & I'm so thankful to have all of these wonderful people in my life.

December 22, 2013
Picking up my wedding album tomorrow. I can't wait

December 24, 2013
Love when girls post quotes on how to be true to yourself but they're the most fake people around.

December 26, 2013
Not feeling too hot today...

December 26, 2013
My knee is killing me

December 26, 2013
Here we go again.. Maybe think of how other people feel before yourself for once?

December 26, 2013
I needed that mani pedi!

December 27, 2013
I swear if I have the stomach bug I'm gonna be pissed...

December 27, 2013
I need a nap...

December 28, 2013
Ugh go awayyyyy you're so annoying.

December 28, 2013
Cleaning my apartment today solidified my need for a maid.

December 30, 2013
This is getting irritating...

December 30, 2013
What the actual fuck?...

December 31, 2013
Finally went to the DMV to change my name but left because they have to take my picture. Guess I'll be back first thing Thursday morning..