Saturday, April 25, 2015

Five Years

Yesterday marked the fifth anniversary of the day DH and I got married. In light of this milestone, I thought I'd sit down and churn out a blog post about how we're doing these days in the Jonsi house.

DH and I celebrated yesterday with my idea of a Dream Date which included books, tea, dessert, and rousing discussions on subjects like Feminism. Seriously, in my world it doesn't get any better than those things. And it was all so appropriate, sitting in Barnes & Noble eating a piece of chocolate cheesecake and sipping my tea across from DH - who I first met in, where else, a bookstore. The only thing that kept the date from reaching perfection was that I only had two hours to browse the books: Perfection would have allowed for six, or eight, or ten hours.

DH and I are thriving. I feel content in my life and where we are: With our thirties just around the corner we have settled well into a routine with our children and, even when we get hit with the occasional stresses that life throws at us, I have a compelling sense that we'll be okay. I feel secure. I feel like a crusader, too, still fighting my various causes and seeking Truth in all things. My mother has always said that, while she often heard other women complaining about reaching their thirties, she found that decade to be fantastic. Being nearly there myself, I feel the same way. I have more conviction and confidence than I ever thought possible; I have a fulfilling family life; and I have discovered that personal evolution is a key to healthy living.

I have seen DH emotionally mature in many ways over the past three years especially - in ways that were vital to the milestone we've just reached. It is not a coincidence that his own drastic personal growth has largely taken place during the time he's been NC with his FOO. His choice to go NC gave him the time and space required to start the process that even LC wouldn't have allowed for. Shit doesn't get done as well when there are Narcs cluttering up the mental and emotional desk space. I think he's finally getting to a point where even a recurrence of the bullshit from his NFOO wouldn't set him back in his progress. I call that a fucking success.

In five years (or six, if we're talking about how long DH and I have been a couple) we have created a comfortable life together. I feel as drawn to DH now as I did when we first started talking to each other, and when we first sat across from each other at the bookstore, discussing lovely subjects like books and babies and love. I still feel compelled to help him and to grow with him and alongside him. That being said, I'd say we're doing pretty well here at the Jonsi house.