Thursday, March 12, 2015

Now You See Them

Those of us who have had experiences with psychopaths know that the language of the psychopath is two-dimensional. They are, as someone once said, as “deep as a thimble.” An analogy is given of the psychopath as a color blind person who has learned how to function in the world of color by special strategies. They may tell you that they “stopped at a red light,” but what it really means to them is that they knew that the light at the top means “stop,” and they stopped. They call it the “red” light like everyone else, but they have no experience of what “red” really is.

A person who is color blind who has developed such coping mechanisms, is virtually undetectable from people who see colors.

Psychopaths use words about emotions the same way people who are color blind use words about colors they cannot perceive. Psychopaths not only learn to use the words more or less appropriately, they learn to pantomime the feeling. But they never HAVE the feeling.

The Psychopath - The Mask of Sanity
by Hervey M. Cleckley, 1941


  1. When it comes to emotions they are like the guy who got too high and is parked at a stop sign waiting for it to turn green.

    1. Uhhhh ohhhhh. I've been there. NOW I understand.

  2. Very interesting. I'm pretty sure NMIL is both color blind and an N.

  3. Jonsi, my in-laws are completely obsessed & delusional. We called cops twice (my husband (their only child) & I are totally unified). They ignore the policy's 2 repeated warnings to stay away from me & the kids.

    Police said to file a restraining order. But NFIL fancies himself quite the cerebral superior and the attention would be a gift!

    NFil & NMil stalk our kids. They attend the student mass, other times he stands outside school with signs so my kids can see their N-grandfather.

    NMil tracked my husband, the kids & I down last summer & she threw a glass of wine at me, yelled that I am a bitch and called mr a liar and accused me of withholding her grandkids. She displayed the violence in front of my mortified kids & their friends & our neighbors

    Police said she is an old lady so we don't want her to have a heart attack so they just called her to knock it off.

    They are obsessed!! They told their son to choose them or me, playing the "after everything we have done for you" how can you be loyal to your wife & reject us? My husband chooses me. They freak out, cut him off twice, issue threats, demean both of us, smear our names, play the victim.....

    A restraining order would just escalate & give them attention right?

    Thanks for letting me vent. Love your blog!!

    1. Hi Anon,

      Vent away! With the behaviors you're describing, I'd opt for the restraining order. Your in-laws sound like nutbags and the police are already saying they are essentially on your side if they have suggested you file an RO. Then the next time your in-laws show their crazy asses, you've got the law on your side.

      Your NMIL having a heart attack sounds like it would be a blessing.

  4. Hi Jonsi,
    Just thought I would let you know that I have read some of your blog. Fascinating. My own mother was very controlling. I also have self diagnosed myself as being a bit aspergey. So I guess a bit of this comment is a bit to inward looking. My parents were obsessed with looks and obedience. I was the perfect child and you know to a large extent I wonder if I contributed to it by being so compliant. Perfect dress and behaviour. My mother picked my clothes out pretty much every day until late teens and even into my early twenties I would go and seek her approval for whatever I was going to wear. Always cute would probably be a good description. Skirts and dresses a lot and tights and it all had to be kept just so nice and clean. And stand quietly beside her and not talk unless spoken to and smile. And if I should transgress well as soon as we got home the cane. the rod of correction. So fear and passivity I guess were me.

  5. Hi, just dropped in quick. Stefan Molyneux has lots of good stuff to say about bullying, psychopathy, bad parenting. All pretty much derived philosophically. That is rationally.

    Rather than quit or believe what others might tell you about the subjectivness of morality or the rightness of might you can prove for example that Reason leads to Virtue leads to Happiness.

    But of course it's not hard to find people who will say, "I was spanked/ridiculed/feared God as a child and I'm fine". Yeah right, they are so damaged they will apologize for the people who did this to them.

  6. "Yeah right, they are so damaged they will apologize for the people who did this to them."

    I've seen this happening as well. DH's parents certainly used that mentality when it suited their purposes - "Well my father did XYZ and I forgave HIM." Yeah? Well good for you and your father. <---(a la Pee Wee Herman)