Friday, May 2, 2014

Circle of Trust

Make sure everybody in your "boat" is rowing 
and not drilling holes when you're not looking.  
Know your circle.

9 comments:

  1. Man does that quote fit life in and around narc's and the dysfunction they sponsor in a family!

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  2. Consequences are emotionally devastating when one in the circle is a younger sibling b/c when he changes sides, having known you his entire life, he knows precisely how to take you down. I know from experience, and I'll never fully recover from the betrayal, which is just what he wanted.

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    Replies
    1. I too know this from experience. I don't know how you recover from that ultimate betrayal by the only other person in your circle. At least being in the boat solo I can begin to plug the holes. It's taking a long time, there are many.

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  3. Once that trust is so profoundly betrayed, it can not be repaired. IMO, learn the lesson and walk away.
    For good.
    There was a time in my young adult life when circumstances truly beyond my control (the economy) were kicking my butt. My CB "mother" knew I was struggling desperately. One day out of no where she said, "Oh, TW, every time your life starts gaining traction, the rug gets jerked out from under you!" (smirk) At that time, it was becoming increasingly clear whose hands were firmly clutching the "end" of that "rug" beyond the economy.
    And that's why all these decades later I remember her exact words. Not only was it totally out of character for her to even notice and even more so, pretend to empathize, it was followed by that smirk, oh, that smirk.
    Her disingenuousness was just dripping all over that "observation." She was getting off on watching me struggle.
    TW

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    Replies
    1. That smirk, I've been trained since birth to see the smirk as extreme devastation. Like at my brother's funeral, my mother was smirking, she could only be devastated couldn't she?

      Or my best friend for 20 years could only smirk at bad news. Of course it means devastation. Ok, I'm being sarcastic.

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  4. TW My NM line was "Every time you get your head above water, someone shoves you back under."
    They all work from the same play book.

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  5. This is my attempt for the rest of my life. When Nmom made me sit on her lap until I was 15, I THOUGHT I WAS BAD FOR DESPISING THAT.

    She'll never be allowed back into my life. And right now, hubby has a creepy buddy. His buddy knows I know he is creepy. I express myself now, we don't hurt good people by being judgemental, and his buddy has given me good reason to not like him.

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