Well, Hal-ay-fucking-luyah. DD's birthday came and went. And we heard not a peep out of NMIL and Co. It would seem that my theories about the mentality of my husband's FOO on the whole were correct. That is to say that, because our children do not serve an immediate purpose in their schemes and are not available to be used or manipulated, their very existence will be therefore denied by DH's parents for the time being. I had planned only to blog when the narcs made attempts to reach out to us in some way, but in this case I thought it prudent to mark down this lack of contact in the records. Because while their constant contact in previous years spoke volumes, their ignorance of those same holidays and occasions this year does as well.
While DH's family may well use this occasion as well as the entirety of this past year as evidence that they have now decided to "respect our rules," I would not be fooled by any such claim. Their lack of attempts to contact either my husband or my children is no more an act of respect than their attempts to reach out either before, during, or after we declared No Contact. They have chosen this past year to ignore us because they have found no further use for us under these circumstances and know of no way to win my husband back. I believe they have played all of their cards and have no more tricks up their sleeves - or at least no more tricks that they think will bring them any success.
L's public declaration concerning her denial of my children's existence was as clear a sign as any that she and EFIL have likely come to the realization that no card, no phony savings account, no ruse, no words will accomplish their sick goals. And while I think it sad, in an emotionally distant sort of way, that none of DH's parental figures have considered his worth as a son, or even as a human being, I am more relieved by their silence than I could have anticipated. I would rather the silence - the avoidance of any activity on their parts - than any of their pitiful, passive-aggressive, and ultimately monotonous attempts at contact.
Over time, their power over my husband has diminished so much that they are now nothing more than the memory of annoying insects occasionally buzzing in our ears. Our uprising has been a success. Every time we speak, there is a revolution and that revolution will never die because we have never and will never stop fighting for our rights and for respect. I don't doubt that DH's FOO will forever hope that he and I get divorced or that I somehow manage to fall off the face of the earth. And I don't doubt that, if an occasion arises out of which they think they can hurt DH in a way they haven't been able to recently, they will not hesitate to use it to their advantage. Yet still, I count their complete ignorance of my daughter on her birthday this year as a huge win for us: not because it suddenly means that DH's parents respect us or our request for NC, but because it means they realize, at least on some level, that it didn't work as a manipulative tactic in the past. They did not get a rise out of us. They could not incite a response, at least not one that they wanted.
And so once again, these people have set up their own lose-lose situation. Which is ironic, considering that they were the ones who set the dynamic right from the start - and they wanted to win. They probably even thought they had a standing chance to do so. Except that they didn't. And it's their own fault.