Wednesday, April 17, 2013

I'll Rise

You may shoot me with your words
You may cut me with your eyes
You may kill me with your hatefulness
But still, like air, I'll rise

-Maya Angelou

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Backed Into A Corner

Easter came and went and we've not heard a peep out of NMIL and Co. Which is a good thing, don't get me wrong, but I don't have high hopes that it's an indication they've decided to back off forever. They'll be back for more just as soon as they feel like it, or NMIL needs a dose of NS, or they've tested the winds and it seems like they'll be upwind long enough to fart in our general direction again without too much fear of reprisal or repercussion.

I had this thought recently that it almost seems arbitrary whenever anyone from DH's FOO reaches out to us: they'll send cards for one major holiday but not the next; they'll skip a birthday one year but then show up on our doorstop for it the following year; they'll completely ignore us for a time and then seemingly out of the blue, jump up and scream "Boo!" because they think they're going to catch us off guard. Sometimes they achieve this end, sometimes they don't. But the conclusion that I came to was that these people don't ever "acknowledge" us unless they've either got something to prove or they seek to engage us in the same-old power struggle. I told DH that there is a part of me that finds it odd that EFIL and L, in particular, would be so quick to send our children Christmas cards (just a month after we sent them our official NC letter) as a way to show us that Jonsi and DH can't be the bosses of them, but that they would then ignore our children just a few months later for what amounts to one of the biggest holidays of the year (for them). Which, more than anything else, just drives the point home for me that none of the attention they direct at our children is in fact for our children - it's merely a ploy to strike back at myself and DH in their forever battle for power and control.

If these people were really so concerned with having a relationship with our children, as they seemed to be implying in their holiday cards last year, then you'd think that they'd be all over the chance to send our kids cards and shit for all the major holidays, especially when you consider that they deemed our demand for NC as being completely worthless and ignore-able. But that's not the case, because EFIL and L aren't interested in having a relationship with our children. Their interests lie in the farce of appearing like "good" people while putting in the least amount of effort possible and gaining back whatever power and control they think they've lost since I came into the picture. And that's about it. The problem with all of this is that this business that they call "love," feels like stalking and abuse and being backed into a corner. And NOBODY puts Jonsi in a corner. Not nobody, not no how.

I've been wondering if NMIL will set her Evil Eye back on us anytime soon, though I don't have any notion that it ever fully left us (considering that she still peruses our blog every few days, and has her various minions perusing it almost daily as well). I'd like to think I'm wrong, but I do think she'll try to hit us again sometime soon. It's been almost four months since we last heard from anyone in her camp, and DH and I are coming up on our second year of NC from her, as well as our third wedding anniversary (both in April). Eventually, she and her band of air-headed groupies will strike out again. It's only a matter of time.