Tuesday, March 19, 2013

All Part Of The Plan

The latest flying monkey to have wandered into our camp recently was none other than EFIL; an event which was neither surprising nor unforeseen. After seeing him show up in our stats a few weeks ago, DH and I decided not to sound any alarms in case it turned out that EFIL was planning any sort of direct attack in the days that followed his "discovery" of our blogs. Now, I will say that I see it as a good sign that he chose not to reach out to us in any way following his (rather short) perusal of a few of our posts, though I do not believe his silence immediately afterwards is any sort of indication that he and his fellow monkeys have opted to back down from their occasional attacks. When I examine the data I have gathered over the last few years, EFIL's lack of communication in this case is nothing more than a repetition of the behavioral patterns I have been observing since day one. This man (and his wife) directly broke our NC decree just weeks after we sent it to them in the mail, so that they could intentionally and vehemently deny our right to having any boundaries; and they accomplished this task by exploiting their biological relationship to our children over the holidays - something they have done in the past and will probably do again in the future.

But, what's a "little thing" like our blogs, where both DH and I have spilled nearly every secret they've tried to maintain, every delusion they've fed to the masses, every truth we have lived, every thought and emotion we have experienced throughout our relationships with them? Why would that not instill in them the burning desire to communicate with us, when something as simple as a child's birthday or a holiday or an upcoming vacation, or any number of trivial daily events have triggered their bullshitting motor mouths? The irony of it seems just too contrived to be real; the contradictions too tangible. It's all part of the master plan for them; all part of the strict codes that they adhere to without question. They'll talk, but only on their terms, they'll maintain a facade to outsiders by using seemingly innocuous events to make constant and subtle plays for power that won't harm their public images. They'll feign interest in DH's well-being whenever they think it will win them brownie points from their Masters - be it their spiritual gods, or their earthly one. But they will not have a genuine dialog. They will not offer any truths. They will not attempt to comprehend anything we have to say. They will not respect our needs, thoughts, opinions, beliefs, or feelings. They will not weigh our truths against their blind faith or ignorant philosophies.

But what I sense most of all, is not an unwillingness on their parts to participate in meaningful conversation but an inability. I believe that these truths we have documented and studied and presented have shaken my husband's FOO at their very core. I believe there is more to their silence than just sheer will: I believe that they can not fight us; that they are ALL far too physically, intellectually, and emotionally stunted to go head-to-head with us. Since they are out to win and they recognize that they can not, they don't even bother trying. They would have to exert far too much energy, of which they simply do not possess. All of their energy goes to maintaining their illusions and various facades and daily fabrications.

Having said that, I would like to offer my brief analysis of the following, which represents some of the relevant data collected from EFIL's visits: On February 21, 2013 at 10:34 AM, EFIL showed up on DH's blog from his own work IP address with no referring link, where he appeared to stay for roughly two hours (though it could have been several visits of varying lengths broken up by a larger span of time in between; which I think the more likely scenario given his profession). He read through several posts of DH's, seeming to focus most intently on this one, which contains both his own rather lengthy letter to DH from 2011 and DH's response to it. During what appeared to be his initial visit to DH's blog (appearing to come from "out of nowhere," though we all know for sure that is NOT the fucking case) he spent no longer than a minute on the main page of the blog, after which there was no further logged activity until about an hour later, where he then spent another hour tentatively exploring. While at work, he visited my own blog only once after following a link from one of DH's posts to mine. He showed up again later in the evening, around 7:00 PM from an IP address in the town in which he lives; this time spending an indeterminate amount of time on DH's blog and roughly fifteen minutes on mine. In total, EFIL spent somewhere between one to two hours on our blogs (a figure which represents the combined time between both DH's blog and mine); spending what I would consider a pathetically short amount of time reading his son's and even less time bothering with mine. Since that time, there is no evidence that he's come back to either of our blogs.

The following theories are based on my observations of the above collected data:

1. That NMIL (as EFIL and L are most clearly linked directly to her and it is unlikely that it was someone weaker in the chain of command who acted as informant) contacted EFIL while he was at work that day, prompting him to immediately check out our blogs; an observation which is significant because it not only confirms the fact that NMIL is and has been one of our trolls for some time now, but that something happened that caused her to initiate that phase of her plan at that particular moment in time.

2. EFIL's apparent lack of interest in our blogs astounds me, while at the same time I've grown accustomed to the indifference he has expressed (through both action and lack of action) towards myself and my family. I have acknowledged many times thoughout this process, that although my blog has a journalistic feel to it, I am fully aware that it is open to the public and that the public includes my husband's entire FOO. The same goes for DH, who has posted thoughts and feelings over these past few years about his biological family and their recent as well as past behaviors. I, in particular, have been preparing for the possibility that, with all the connections NMIL has set up in her vast web of Flying Monkeys in the world, someone would eventually track us down on the internet as they have so often done in the offline world. And not only are we resigned to having Undesirables as part of our audience, but at times, we have even invited it. And so I see these blogs as a gift to them, for it is as close to discovering the secret to unlocking the doors of NC as they will ever get. And still, the informed discovery of our blogs yielded no more than a few measly hours of examination out of one measly day for EFIL. His very apparent disinclination towards even reading what we have to say, let alone his lack of interest in responding to it, is perhaps the saddest aspect of all of this.

Nearly a month has passed since EFIL showed up on our blogs. I have no doubts that he will continue his efforts to stalk and harass my husband and our family while continuing to ignore any aspects of his son's personhood that distinguishes him from being a doormat. Instead, EFIL will maintain the status-quo by upholding the stale laws that govern him, he'll live his life hiding behind the foul-stench of hypocrisy, and he'll never know the wonderful man my husband is becoming, or the beautiful life we have created together. As always, that is EFIL's loss. 


  1. As I was reading, the word "incapable" came to my mind. Incapable of empathy. Incapable of real dialogue. Incapable of genuine love. Incapable of independent thought...

    I could go on but you get my drift. EFIL strikes me as being incapable of being a decent human being. His loss indeed, but the poor idiot is probably incapable of understanding what a great family he's missing out on.


    1. "Incapable" is a very accurate estimation of EFIL.

      Hugs to you as well Mulderfan!

  2. I've always had the sense that NMIL was the Puppeteer and everyone else danced when she pulled their strings. I don't see her as "incapable" but rather manifestly intentionally obtuse which has historically been her "Cover." Where NFIL will attempt to sweep everything under the rug, NMIL hides behind a carefully crafted persona and is a master manipulator working behind the scenes. I don't get how NFIL doesn't comprehend this reality-after all, he did marry her and they *did* get divorced. He couldn't live with a cheating wife and she left for "greener pastures." Which clearly weren't.
    Where he doesn't get it, she refuses to if for no other reason then it would require her to admit she screwed up her kids, messed with their most precious gift, their minds and robbed them of any kind of childhood. Forcing DH into a perverse role and expropriating his peer group-especially the young men-to affirm her "howt-ness" is beyond creepy and reminds me of former Mayor Koch of NY: "How am I doin'?" In her case it was, "How sexy/attractive am I?" Yuk.
    But then again, in her world it's all about Appearances: She's ruthless when it comes to maintaining that facade.

    1. I was thinking mostly of the Flying Monkeys in terms of their "inabilities," mostly because I see them as such incredibly weak-minded people. I think they are the ultimate cowards and weaklings, that they both choose not to engage with us on an intellectual level and that they just can't hack it. And on some level that even THEY realize they can't hack it. They'll all drown in the shallow pools of stagnant water in which they are laying. It's a little comical actually.

      "She's ruthless when it comes to maintaining that facade." <--- Yes, to everything you said. If I had ten thumbs, I'd give it ten thumbs up. NMIL is the ultimate puppet master. The FMs are so unbelievably stupid.

    2. NMIL is just a nasty bitch and the rest of the pack are her drooling lap dogs. They're so stupid they don't realize she'll turn and rip them apart when they no longer serve a purpose.

      I sort of hate to use the dog analogy because dogs probably have way more to offer the world than NMIL and her pack ever will.

    3. I know exactly what you're getting at - it's more like NMIL is a rabid dog - not so diseased in the mind that she's forgotten what she's after, but diseased enough that she'll "kill" innocent children and others of her kind to get it. In real life, dogs, of course (even the diseased ones) are more human than she is.

  3. I was just thinking about triangulation and the flying monkey phenomenon and it dawned on me that all the bullshit my ex wife was asked to do by by mother and did with glee was what she had asked of me all the secrecy and the 100 dollar snub. I had no intention of seeing it through but if I had it would have been the end of me and sis's relationship for all time................. no matter how you slice it nothing good comes from these bed sores.