There's something so ironic about the fact that the shit-stormers that start drama never seem to find themselves in the middle of all the chaos. They create it, they maintain it, and they watch it from afar, but they are never in the midst of it themselves - by that I mean, it doesn't at all create a sense of turmoil in them, as it does the people they are inflicting it on. They talk a lot of shit. A LOT of shit. But when they're faced with the truth, or given an opportunity to see it for themselves, they are the BEST at burying their heads in the sand. I don't think that aspect of a narc's behaviors will ever cease to amaze me.
Why do the personality disordered absolutely insist that every other truth but their own is negligible, that it's not worth a second thought, that it's invalid? Probably because they are the biggest pussies one could ever imagine: they either can not or will not accept that their innards are complete shit and no amount of obsessively maintained polish is going to make that shit look any better. Give them an opportunity to have a dialog and they will piss on it every time. Give them an opportunity to hear your truth and they will immediately pretend they didn't hear you speak. I don't know anyone more cowardly than the narcissists I've known who have tried to stink up my small piece of the world with their constant shit-flinging and subtle manipulations and underhanded threats and thievery and scheming and their overall sneaky douchebaggery.
DH recently reached out to Exhibit A.
Yes. That Exhibit A.
Doing so was not a decision we made lightly. We put a lot of thought into it, into how he should do it, when he should do it. And why. Because I know a lot of people are going to think that was a crazy move, I want to explain our motives. I fully understand that most of my friends and long-time readers will probably STILL believe it was a crazy thing to do, and if that's the case, I will accept that assessment. But in good conscience, on the chance that she ever does show up here or on DH's blog, I couldn't leave my readers in the dark about why we chose to attract her attention.
Most simply put: we were attempting to give DH an opportunity to address the demons of his past in a way he'd never done before and Exhibit A was both the least-threatening and most readily-available target. I don't feel bad in admitting that she was being set up as a test dummy. We were marking out an intentional battle ground, ready to verbally spar with someone who seems plenty willing to vocalize her thoughts about DH's personal life and life-choices (even years after she last spoke with him) on her twitter account or behind his back but who has never once tried to reach out to him to have any sort of meaningful dialog about it. For me, personally, this was going to be a chance for DH to defend himself, and me, in a way I hadn't seen him do before. We hesitated, many times, before sending out the email because it seemed a risky move. But, with his finger hovering over "send," we rationalized that A) This cat had been let out of the bag a long time ago what with the discovery of our blogs by several monkey's from NMIL's flock and B) Ain't nothing wrong with pointing out the truth to a halfwit. Chances are she won't understand it anyway.
So, DH sent this (from his blogging identity):
To: Exhibit A
Sent: Friday, February 8, 2013 @ 10:01 PM
Subject: Here's to Truth
We know what you've said. We know what you are.
Here's to truth. Here's to authenticity.
[Link to this post]
You want to know what's been most surprising to me? We built it, but she didn't come. And that, my friends, was not something I had anticipated. I had imagined that she would show up, even if for no other reason than out of sheer curiosity, wanting to read about the fact that someone out there (or perhaps many someones) know what she has said and done. I imagined that she would read a few posts and then state her opinions - since she's been tweeting out of her twat about them left and right since DH "left" her three years ago. I thought her ego and her stupidity would get her to bite, or at least that she would feel threatened by the fact that people have been talking about all the vile things she has done.
I will offer as a possibility that she simply did not read the message; that she never opened the email because she didn't recognize the email address. But, something tells me that is not the case. I accept it as a possibility, but I do not believe that is what happened.
My hypothesis is that she read the email and then immediately buried her head in the sand. No reading of truths for Exhibit A! Not today! No, not today. Why? Because she's a coward and a pussy. Because she'll forever exist off of the greasy lies she's chews on from day-to-day. She'd rather not expose herself; she'd rather not face the music; she'd rather not subject herself to the world outside of her bubble: where people are laughing at how absurd she is. Her philosophy must clearly be that ignorance is bliss. Even if it's ignorance of her own behaviors, her own words and deeds. Her preference must clearly be living with the sand fleas.
Days have passed without so much as a glance coming from her direction and I honestly don't think she'll ever show her skank-ass face here. There's far too much truth here for her too handle. I'll just say now, it's never too late for a confrontation in my book, I just find it an unlikely scenario. Give a narcissist shit, and she'll sure as hell fling it. But give her the truth and she'll ignore it, every time.
*Addendum - I've also come up with the possibility that Exhibit A has already been here, or that she's already been made aware of what's here, thus her lack of interest in what we've written. If that is indeed the case, then it's not her lack of appearance that is the issue, but that she has a very apparent ineptitude at direct, open, and honest confrontation. I will submit that if she has read anything here at all about herself or those she claims to care about and has still chosen not to show herself, then she is the perfect specimen of cowardly behavior. Just sayin'.