Tuesday, January 15, 2013

#outwiththeoldinwiththeold

Whenever I'm in need of a laugh, all I have to do is read Exhibit A's tweets and I find myself in a fit of hysterics. Roll the dice, spin the wheel, pick one or ten at random. It's likely there aren't many people out there who could stomach reading them all, but if you have five minutes and you want to laugh out loud, go ahead and read the thoughts of the brainless wonder. It seems to me that this girl has made for one spectacular puppet. I'm waiting for the day NMIL reaches out to my husband to let him know that the "one he could have had" is pregnant.

I don't believe in God. But I'd be willing to reconsider my beliefs if someone stops this walking horror from ever having children.

August 31, 2012
What the fuckkk

August 31, 2012
Fuck you bitchhhhh

August 31, 2012
My shirt popped open at the bank. #bigboobsproblems

August 31, 2012
Someone should start a wine delivery service #ButReally #Convenient

August 31, 2012
Drinking with my chooches.

August 31, 2012
I would have a fever...

August 31, 2012
I'm a great story teller..

August 31, 2012
my friends & I have many sexcapade stories. #goodtimes

September 2, 2012
I get disappointed when I text someone last night, expecting a response in the morning & there's nothing..

September 2, 2012
I need a nap..

September 2, 2012
The smartest thing I ever did was make you all mine. :) #lifeofaprincess

September 2, 2012
Headache <

September 3, 2012
Cranky bitch I need more sleep.

September 3, 2012
I feel shitty today.

September 3, 2012
Getting cranky

September 3, 2012
I'm so impatient.

September 3, 2012
What is wrong with meeeeee

September 3, 2012
#waystopissmeoff don't text me back.

September 4, 2012
You fucking serious?

September 4, 2012
This is all a bunch of bullshit.

September 4, 2012
Listening to our wedding song & bawling my eyes out. #lametweet…I wish I could relive that day/night forever. (minus the whole consuming too much alcohol part.. Hah)

September 4, 2012
That was a nice mini nap. #neededthat

September 4, 2012
Apparently it's everyone's job to make me angry today. #stfu

September 4, 2012
You are getting on my LAST nerve.

September 4, 2012
I need my nails done…

September 5, 2012
Tummy aches while trying to sleep <<<<

September 5, 2012
I think I have more bruises than freckles right now... #plateletproblems

September 6, 2012
Just realized something... I've never been hired by a woman. Always a man.

September 6, 2012
I'd do anything to go back to bed right now. Or at least have someone bring me Starbucks. #PrincessTreatment

September 6, 2012
In need of some prayers today...[followed by lots and lots of tweets about her vacation to the beach]

September 7, 2012
I could use a nap... [followed by lots and lots more tweets about her vacation at the beach]

September 7, 2012
Awful heartburn right now...

September 8, 2012
Fucking serious?!

September 8, 2012
I have really high standards.

September 8, 2012
Broke out in hives. What the fuckkk

September 8, 2012
Finally going to sleep at a relatively normal time. #exhausted

September 9, 2012
Feeling so sick this morning…

September 9, 2012
Pretty sure I should be hospitalized for being this dehydrated…

September 10, 2012
Is it too early to have a shot or two..?

September 10, 2012
Today = [thumbs down]

September 10, 2012
Love catching men staring at my boobs.... #really

September 11, 2012
Sweet nap. Kind of want to sleep until I have to get up tomorrow though...

September 11, 2012
In a funky mood... #wtf

September 12, 2012
As we grow up we don't lose friends. We just learn who our real ones are.

September 12, 2012
Is it nap time yet?

September 12, 2012
Confident but insecure.

September 13, 2012
Ugh I feel like shit this morning...

September 13, 2012
People mistake me being nice as flirting.. #seriously

September 13, 2012
Quit blowing me off... Seriously. #ugh

September 13, 2012
Cool.. I'll be working 6 days a week. 5am-1pm. I'm going to constantly be tired...

September 13, 2012
Never napping again. It always puts me in a bad mood

September 13, 2012
Fe fi fum fo, I smell the stank of a stank ass ho.

September 14, 2012
What the fuck.. Why does my mouth taste like cigarettes? #gross

September 14, 2012
I need a beer & it's only 9:15.

September 14, 2012
Love how I'm good friends with everyone AFTER I leave my old job.. Lmao #whatevs

September 14, 2012
My hair is so soft. Why isn't it being played with?

September 14, 2012
Okay last thing. I hate when people don't text back!  #annoying #itsnothard

September 15, 2012
That was a beautiful 5 hour nap

September 15, 2012
I need a massage.

September 16, 2012
Ugh seriously? Stop being an asshole.

September 16, 2012
Head is killing me :(

September 17, 2012
Finally getting the wedding pictures today!!!!!!... my internet is being awfulllllllllll right now. i need to see my wedding pictures! been waiting a month!! sheesh.

September 17, 2012
I have this weird empty feeling..? #wtf #butwhy

September 17, 2012
#stressed

September 17, 2012
Worst mood

September 17, 2012
I need a new wardrobe.

September 17, 2012
You need a role model? Fuck it, you can play the role…

September 17, 2012
It feels like I need an inhaler. #ugh #cantbreathe

September 18, 2012
I feel like shittttt.

September 19, 2012
[Lots and lots of pics from her wedding last month]

September 19, 2012
Holy hell my wrist hurts!!

September 19, 2012
Not exactly how I wanted to start my day!.. .not a happy camper today....

September 19, 2012
legit just want to cry... so fucking doneee.. :(

September 19, 2012
Just because YOU don't like someone doesn't mean I don't and will be rude to them #whoraisedyou

September 19, 2012
oh lord, have mercy on my soul..

September 19, 2012
Bitch, come at me. #ididntdoshit

September 19, 2012
Can I just be Marilyn Monroe?

September 19, 2012
My stomach hurts so bad...

September 19, 2012
Everyone has their rough spots in life. What's important is getting back up rather than staying down. [Oh, you mean like when your mother cheats on your father and then marries the guy she cheated with; who also happens to be the father of some of the people you’ve been friends with since childhood? I'm pretty sure that's the story, right? When that happens, just get up and float away. You've demonstrated that so nicely, Exhibit A.]

September 20, 2012
Seriously, bitches be trippin lately..

September 20, 2012
Pages [I] may like: Sluts. You know me so well, Facebook.

September 20, 2012
My idol. #marilynmonroe

September 20, 2012
Love. #marilynmonroe #marilyn #monroe #pinup

September 20, 2012
I can't even get up. #sotired #sosore

September 20, 2012
I have to get up before I fall asleep next to this old guy. [Umm. I take it your husband doesn’t know about this?]

September 20, 2012
I love getting my hair done. #lifeofaprincess

September 20, 2012
A back massage would be really nice right now.

September 20, 2012
I'd tell you I miss you but I don't know how, I've never heard silence quite this loud.

September 21, 2012
Fuck, I'm tired..

September 21, 2012
I feel like I should be tired... But I'm so hyper!!!!!!

September 21, 2012
wait, now i feel sick.. D:

September 21, 2012
I mean, maybe I don't actually NEED to have that. But I want it so bad that I need it or I won't stop thinking about it.

September 21, 2012
My stomach constantly hurting <

September 21, 2012
Saw a flash of light in the sky. Thought it was lightening. There are no clouds. Is that possible? #isthatdumb

September 21, 2012
[A number of tweets about how she’s out late at night playing pool with a bunch of guys from work. She also apparently texted other guys to come out and ‘play’ too. Interesting. Gives me the feeling that she and her new husband are probably just the “cutest” “perfect” “secure” little couple.]

September 22, 2012
Why am I do sick...?!?!

September 22, 2012
I think I'm leaving early today... #thinkimdying

September 22, 2012
Feeling sick again. Wtf.

September 22, 2012
You're so ignorant.

September 23, 2012
I need to not be stressed.

September 23, 2012
[Comment on a photo of herself]: I can think of a few people who would [want to motorboat this picture]….LMAO ooooh daddy!

September 24, 2012
Woke up super stressed. Whyyyyy?

September 24, 2012
I feel a panic attack coming soon... #gah

September 24, 2012
The fuuuuuuuck

September 24, 2012
Why do I keep having "it's one of THOSE days..." days? #notcool

September 24, 2012
Can I borrow some motivation from someone?

September 24, 2012
I hate that I have an urge to talk to you but that just isn't an option anymore.

September 24, 2012
Finally changing my name. #marriedlife

September 24, 2012
So fucking annoyed. I help people when they need help, but God forbid I need help, no one is around. #fuckyou

September 24, 2012
Don't mind me I'm just coughing up a lung over here

September 24, 2012
Love when people tell me I look skinny. #sorrynotsorry

September 24, 2012
So incredibly anxious!

September 25, 2012
Nap time yet?... I wish I could go right back to sleep.

September 25, 2012
Wait...... Legit?! #thefuck

September 25, 2012
Keep getting in these awful depressed moods. Wtf [sad face]

September 25, 2012
#struggling [sad face]

September 25, 2012
Sooooooooo tiredddddddd.......

September 25, 2012
My back is killingggg me..... #thefuckkk

September 25, 2012
Napping like woah when I get home!!!

September 25, 2012
Ruined.

September 26, 2012
My back hurts so bad, I put paper towels on the bathroom floor at work and laid down. #whatevs #ouch

September 26, 2012
you can be addicted to a certain kind of sadness

September 26, 2012
Anyone have a hot tub I can just chill in? #mybackhurts #illloveyouforever

September 26, 2012
I need either a) hot cocoa b) a caramel apple spice latte or c) a pumpkin latte. Who's gonna get on that for me? Thaaaanks.

September 26, 2012
Laying on my couch with a heating pad... #oldladystatus

September 26, 2012
#ImHappiestWhen everything just goes my way.

September 26, 2012
Dirty bit giving me nasty looks…

September 26, 2012
I should have walked away, but I never had the chance, everything got out of hand & I let it slide.

September 26, 2012
My ears have been ringing all day, someone must be thinking about me. Hahah

September 28, 2012
I haven't been totally honest..

September 28, 2012
"Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it." Psalm 34:14

September 28, 2012
Happy Halloween! I killed a guy & stuffed him in my trunk.

September 28, 2012
Bitch I will CUT YOUUUU.

September 28, 2012
Annoyed AF right now........

September 29, 2012
SO TIRED I MIGHT DIE

September 30, 2012
I won't worry my life away

September 30, 2012
Respect the people who find time for you in their busy schedule. But love people who never look at their schedule when you need them.

September 30, 2012
Worst headache of my life...

September 30, 2012
I need a baby in my life. Puppy or human. Either will do.

September 30, 2012
I could use a nap....

September 30, 2012
I like when men are protective of me. Even if it's just as a little sister #GentlemanlyDuty

September 30, 2012
Sick to my STOMACH....

September 30, 2012
Welp, my blonde routes are showing..... #dumbass

October 1, 2012
Really don't want to get political here.... #ignorant

October 1, 2012
[Pic of herself her boobs]. Yay sweaters. #sweater #stripes #boobs #monogram #bored

October 1, 2012
Omg so sick

October 2, 2012
& my back hurts again.....

October 2, 2012
As long as you live, you're gonna miss me, miss me..

October 2, 2012
My stomach hurts all the damn time. #thefuckkk

October 2, 2012
Rainy days always put me in a craptastic mood.. Even when I have movies & hot cocoa..

October 2, 2012
I will punch someone by the end of the night.

October 3, 2012
It's weird not being the scapegoat at work.. I like it.

October 3, 2012
"That is the ugliest effing skirt I have ever seen."

October 3, 2012
someone's throat is gonna be punched.

October 3, 2012
I guess my body wasn't meant to stand for 12 hours on 3 hours of sleep. #ouch #dying

October 3, 2012
lol at all the ignorant people right now.

October 3, 2012
I always tell myself I don't miss you but I do.

October 4, 2012
Haha, you're missing out..

October 4, 2012
Got myself some good news!! #tba

October 4, 2012
MAC is already sold out of the Marilyn collection... Aren't getting more in. I want to cry.

October 4, 2012
Don't say you love someone if you don't. Don't make promises you can't keep. Don't bother if you never really cared.

October 4, 2012
Forever alone...

October 4, 2012
almost done with picking the pictures for the wedding album. over 200 pictures. yikes! Hah

October 4, 2012
aaaaaand fuck off. #thanks

October 5, 2012
Someone want to go get me like, 5lbs of cream cheese?

October 5, 2012
Laziness and inactivity kills just as many people as smoking.

October 5, 2012
Not being included is probably the worst feeling ever.

October 5, 2012
I would agree with you but then we would both be wrong. #lifeofaprincess

October 5, 2012
I'm gonna need wine after this.....

October 5, 2012
Either I'm looking for a fight or everyone is just SUPER annoying right now...

October 5, 2012
Can't depend on anyone but yourself. #ugh #hateyou #goaway

October 5, 2012
Not only did I have to wait an hour for my Chinese food, or the fact that they lost my order, but I get home & my food isn't in the bag.

October 5, 2012
Fortune cookies for dinner.... yay....

October 5, 2012
legit worst two days of my life. I can't even.

October 5, 2012
I need an alcoholic beverage very soon

October 5, 2012
I just want to cry...

October 5, 2012
#lonely

October 5, 2012
These are the times I wish someone was here for me, I feel like I'm always the rock for others.

October 5, 2012
This day is awful. Going to sleep. #gotnoworkdone

October 7, 2012
Never been so tired in my LIFE.

October 7, 2012
Is it Monday so I can sleep 16 hours?!

October 7, 2012
Awkward.........

October 8, 2012
Worst headache ever..... #wtf

October 8, 2012
I will legit pay someone in baked goods if they're my personal dishwasher. Seriously. #takingresumes #please #illhireanyone

October 8, 2012
Sup bitches. #nomakeup #bored #monogram [picture of her face. She posts a lot of these. I’ll spare you having to look at it.]

October 8, 2012
I feel like if she knew me she'd really like me.

October 9, 2012
Trying to enjoy my break and there's a woman on her cell phone YELLING. Like really? None of us want to hear your pointless conversation..

October 9, 2012
& now I feel sick..

October 10, 2012
Jackass..

October 10, 2012
I need a nap already..

October 10, 2012
This girl is so dumb..

October 10, 2012
Today = crap

October 10, 2012
It's just one of those days.. Again..

October 10, 2012
Breaking out in hives & I have no idea why…

October 10, 2012
Love when I rush to leave work & get to my dr appt on time and they're late. Always 30 mins to an hour late. #cmon

October 10, 2012
Totally gonna get yelled at by my dr for not going to the hematologist yet.. hah oops!

October 10, 2012
Pretty sure I just sprained my ankle.. #wtf

October 10, 2012
God gives his hardest battles to his toughest soldiers.

October 11 2012
Can't tell if I'm sore from my workout or from falling down the stairs #lol

October 11, 2012
Fuck my stomach hurts..

October 11, 2012
Its very sad to see a friend you once had feelings for, leave your life. The worst part is, you tried but can't do anything at all.

October 12, 2012
I need a back massage…

October 12, 2012
What the fuckkkkkkk

October 12, 2012
Crazy bitchhh...

October 13, 2012
Don't hate me cause I'm beautiful #hatersgonnahate

October 13, 2012
Shopping is the best stress reliever. And drinking.

October 13, 2012
This is my "I'm being a brat" face. #bored #ootd [pic of said face. Yes. It’s hilarious. In the “you-look-like-a-moron” kind of way]

October 13, 2012
I haven't been to @HomeGoods in so long. I'm gonna cry.

October 14, 2012
Give it all, never get half.

October 14, 2012
I feel quite sick today…[thumbs down]

October 14, 2012
Sometimes it rains hardest on those who deserve the sun.

October 15, 2012
My throat hurts.....[thumbs down]

October 15, 2012
In a funky mood. & not the good kind...

October 16, 2012
Seriously what is up with my dreams?!

October 16, 2012
Is it too much to ask for my phone to actually work properly? #fuckinga

October 16, 2012
Just I unfollowed some ignorant assholes

October 16, 2012
Feeling so sick

October 16, 2012
I can't even be on here. Bye.

October 16, 2012
My stomach hurts

October 17, 2012
One second I feel like I'm going to be sick, and the next I'm starving. Wtf.

October 17, 2012
So many people having babies! Making me jealous…

October 17, 2012
You smell like a baby prostitute.

October 17, 2012
I'm not gonna last this winter.

October 18, 2012
Dyingggg…

October 18, 2012
Place of work. #dontstalkme [pic of her work address] [is it just me, or do people tweet things like this because they WANT to be stalked?]

October 18, 2012
My stomachhhhh

October 18, 2012
It's nice that the people at work actually appreciate what I do, unlike my last job. #asscocks

October 19, 2012
[tons of photos of herself dressed up in her trashy, too-tight-for-her-body-type Halloween costume]

October 20, 2012
Shit going downnnnn

October 20, 2012
Someone bring me oneil's please.

October 21, 2012
What a douche…

October 21, 2012
I need a bacon egg & cheese, spinach omelette or cheeseburger stat.

October 21, 2012
Calm your ass down.

October 21, 2012
Wtf now my emojis aren't working..? D:<

October 21, 2012
You're annoying...

October 22, 2012
Everyone just needs to grow the fuck up. Seriously.

October 22, 2012
forever changed, nothing ever stays the same.

October 22, 2012
Worst headache…

October 23, 2012
One of those days..

October 24, 2012
Bah I don't feel well

October 25, 2012
Hay. You're a crazy bitch.

October 25, 2012
Why, hello. #bored #work [one of her many pouty-face self-pics, that she, no doubt thinks are sexy]

October 26, 2012
I'm legit freaking out right now

October 27, 2012
I can't even…

October 27, 2012
I'm in need of an afternoon nap

October 28, 2012
Seriously, lose the attitude.

October 28, 2012
Fakin like a good one, but I call em like I see em. I know what you are, what you are baby..

October 28, 2012
Why did I eat a cupcake?! It feels like I have restless arm syndrome. Is that even a thing? Whatever. My muscles are going nuts.

October 29, 2012
Please, be safe.. Wherever you are.

October 29, 2012
Just because I'm nice does not mean that I want your D. #KindPeopleProblems

October 29, 2012
A person who truly loves you will never let you go no matter how hard the situation is.

October 30, 2012
Headache

October 30, 2012
I hate being ignored.

October 30, 2012
Love that I don't have service anywhere... #fixthatshit

October 31, 2012
Not receiving text messages... [frown face]

October 31, 2012
Haha whatever bitch!

October 31, 2012
Gah so sick..

November 1, 2012
So sick whyyyyy

November 1, 2012
I hate being an adult...

November 1, 2012
Can I just be Carrie Underwood already?

November 1, 2012
My stomachhhhhhh

November 1, 2012
Work sucks, I know.

November 2, 2012
Why do I have a headache every day when I wake up?

November 3, 2012
In the bathroom not to pee, but to answer these 15 texts. #sheeshpeople #busyatwork

November 3, 2012
I hate you.

November 3, 2012
In a sea of people, my eyes will always search for you.

November 4, 2012
I just want to be home....

November 4, 2012
I can't even..

November 4, 2012 @ 9:02 AM
We all have battles we’re fighting

November 5, 2012 @ 7:35 AM
Starving. Haven't eaten since 5pm yesterday. [Um. So have breakfast?]

November 5, 2012
I have weird dreams..

November 5, 2012
Know a few people in the hospital today! Pray for them all!

November 5, 2012
#anxious

November 5, 2012
My beautiful perfect nephew Liam. #baby #newborn [pic of new “nephew”]

November 5, 2012
I love him tons already. #newborn #baby #littlerockstar [pic of herself and her new “nephew”]

November 7, 2012
You have to go through hell before you get to heaven.

November 7, 2012
Ugh feeling so sick again...

November 7, 2012
Bitch.

November 7, 2012
Sick to my stomach...

November 7, 2012
I'm gonna lose it..

November 7, 2012
"Something in the bedroom that begins with D.." "Dildo!" – Me

November 7, 2012
Things change. People change.

November 7, 2012
Hate how someone blatantly reads a text, yet doesn't respond. #rude

November 8, 2012
Why am I tired ALL THE TIME?

November 8, 2012
Felt so nice buying like everything from @WilliamsSonoma

November 9, 2012
Headaches every day <<<

November 9, 2012
When people are in a bad mood so they try and make you in a bad mood <<<<< #cuttheshit

November 9, 2012
Are you f u c k i n g kidding me [variety of various angry/sad face icons]

November 9, 2012
Going to punch someone.

November 10, 2012
You're so dumb.

November 12, 2012
Is it too early for a drink?

November 12, 2012
I do feel bad for you sweetie, but you've done this to yourself.

November 12, 2012
i miss you

November 12, 2012
I wish my hubby & I could go on vacation for a year

November 13, 2012
Just looked at a house and fell in love!! Plus I'd be neighbors with my daddy!!

November 13, 2012
My tummyyyy

November 14, 2012
This day sucks

November 14, 2012
Seriously fuck today..

November 15, 2012
Just had one of the worst antic attacks yet..

November 15, 2012
Fuck, that was almost a situation...

November 16, 2012
I HATE not getting what I want...

November 16, 2012
It's sad enough that I don't know how to spell "grey" but even sadder when the only way to remember is by thinking of "grey goose"..

November 16, 2012
I couldn't love baby [x] any more than I do now!!!

November 16, 2012
[Various pictures of her “nephew." I always find it funny that she seems to think she can lay claim to every newborn baby that finds itself unfortunate enough to be in her vicinity. In 2009, she posted a photo of DD on her twitter account with the caption 'my lil niece' as though that was any sort of accurate. I find it remarkable that anyone can be so delusional. So far I've seen her refer to at least two other newborn babies that I can recall as her nieces and nephews - all were the children of "friends" and frenemies. None were actually related to her.]

November 16, 2012
my heart is beating so fast

November 16, 2012
I hate waiting!

November 16, 2012
I just can't...

November 16, 2012
I just wanna go back in time

November 16, 2012
Well that was a mistake.

November 17, 2012
How is it even possible that my last day off was Oct 31?! I need a freakin break..

November 17, 2012
Stressing the fuck out

November 18, 2012
Why is everyone being such an ASSHOLE today?! Fuck....

November 18, 2012
Hell yeah I'm a safe driver. #selfie [picture of herself]

November 18, 2012
In the best mood right now

November 18, 2012
And there goes my good mood..

November 18, 2012
Who wants to do my dishes? #notme

November 19, 2012
I'm a princess and you're not. Sorry not sorry. #PrincessRants

November 19, 2012
All you do is talkkkkk #omg

November 19, 2012
NSIL: I've been to the bottom and refuse to get pulled back down, no matter how many times I get hurt or how many people I have to drop.
Exhibit A: I love youuuuu!! [heart heart heart]
NSIL “liked” this

November 19, 2012
This arm brace was a baaaad idea, I'm in a lot of pain right now..

November 20, 2012
I'm gonna be sick..

November 20, 2012
Mall bathroom pic. It's what we do. [Pic of herself and two friends in the bathroom mirror at the mall]

November 21, 2012
Wearing my brace to work.. Lets see how long I can keep it on for. Hah.

November 21, 2012
Ugh I hate himmmm...

November 21, 2012
My coworker tried to guilt me into giving her Friday off instead of me. #yeahrightlady

November 21, 2012
My lord, not again..

November 21, 2012
Hungry but no appetite ugh!

November 21, 2012
Walking up 3 flights of stairs after running 4 miles is an awful experience..

November 22, 2012
Omg so annoying..!!!!!

November 23, 2012
What the fuuuuuck..?

November 23, 2012
Save the drama for your mamaaaaa!

November 23, 2012
Worst headache right now..

November 23, 2012
@NSIL: don't let anything or anyone bring you down! You are amazing & you are loved!

November 24, 2012
Platelets are low.. I can tell. #crap

November 24, 2012
Fuck why am I so sick?

November 24, 2012
I wish everyone had an iPhone so I would know if they've read my text or not. #crazy #sorrynotsorry

November 24, 2012
My neighbor's car alarm keeps going off.... Wanna die?!

November 24, 2012
A W K W A R D

November 24, 2012
I need some wine.

November 24, 2012
I don't understand why people can't just be nice and understanding towards one another. We are all flawed #KindPeopleProblems

November 24, 2012
Pounding some grape with Ashley tonight!

November 25, 2012
Sooo sickk..... #wtf

November 25, 2012
Holiday spirit at work! #santa #holiday #work #bored #selfie [pic of her chest self]

November 25, 2012
Getting hit on in the grocery store <<< you see this ring on my finger?

November 26, 2012
Its too cold to be anywhere but my bed today.

November 26, 2012
So many big decisions to make, so little time...

November 26, 2012
Someone get engaged so I can go to a wedding! Haha

November 26, 2012
I sent in my picture of Darla to @nbc @NBCNews!

November 26, 2012
Goodness gracious I'm tired..

November 26, 2012
Why am I constantly sick..?

November 27, 2012
I'm seriously going to lose my job because I keep getting sick.. #notcool

November 27, 2012
Home sick. 3rd time this month. #notcool #sick #selfie #snowday

November 27, 2012
Gahhhhh

November 27, 2012
Delusional..

November 27, 2012
Crap. Life is very difficult.

November 27, 2012
Can I just not work again..?

November 28, 2012
I feel like I'm leaving work early today.. #dying #sick

November 28, 2012
Nap time?

November 28, 2012
Maybe I should just nap...

November 28, 2012
Seriously? Crackers hurt my stomach..?

November 28, 2012
Manners and common courtesy being mistaken for flirting. #BelleProbz

November 28, 2012
lol @ the people at work thinking I'm pregnant because I've been sick...

November 28, 2012
I really need an unlimited supply of bobby pins and hair ties because I seem to lose them all. #PrincessRants

November 29, 2012
I swear... This woman makes me so angry.

November 29, 2012
Not something I should be eating with tummy troubles.. #bagel #olive #creamcheese

November 29, 2012
#tbt #bestfriend #loveyou @frenemy

November 29, 2012
Happy birthday to my best frannn @frenemy2

November 29, 2012
All I want for Christmas is Channing Tatum wearing a bow. #PrincessRants

November 30, 2012
uhm what

November 30, 2012
I wear the tiara, I make the rules. #PrincessRants

November 30, 2012
Chilly manster. I need a heated blanket STAT.

November 30, 2012
NSIL: Havent laughed that hard in soooo long
Exhibit A: love you baby

December 1, 2012
I got JD the best Christmas gift. I'm a kickass wife.

December 2, 2012
New avi because I was bored. And also I look good. In a goofy way. #conceited #sorrynotsorry

December 2, 2012
I'm my favorite person. #PrincessRants

December 3, 2012
Frustrated.

December 3, 2012
"Remember no man is a failure who has friends."

December 3, 2012
Very blessed.

December 3, 2012
I think I'm allergic to rice. Which is my favorite food..

December 4, 2012
I feel sad...

December 4, 2012
I don't like change. [thumbs down]

December 4, 2012
Andddd be right back, busy buying the whole VS website

December 5, 2012
Don't hate on me just because I shine brighter than you. #PrincessRants

December 6, 2012
I'm gonna lose it.

December 7, 2012
Sitting next to the most obnoxious woman on my break. #goaway

December 8, 2012
So sick... Not eating today. Or this week.

December 8, 2012
Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit.

December 11, 2012
Today is already shit.

December 11, 2012
So. Cold. I'm too pretty to work

December 14, 2012
It's so important to tell people how you feel, that you love them, that they matter and are special while you can. Life is short. #PrayforCT

December 15, 2012
I love clueless people.

December 15, 2012
I'm gonna lose it on someone.

December 15, 2012
#GirlsLike to be treated the way they deserve, like a princess

December 15, 2012
Sorry sweetie, but I'm a princess and you're not. #PrincessRants

December 16, 2012
There comes a point in your life when you realize who really matters, who never did, and who always will.

December 17, 2012
Everyone is having babies/has a newborn that I know and I'm so envious

December 18, 2012
And sick again. But I can't call out. #ugh

December 18, 2012
love me when i least deserve it , because that's when i need it most.

December 19, 2012
Shit, my heart just stopped. My Lord...

December 19, 2012
Having a chronic anxiety disorder kinda blows...

December 20, 2012
Sitting in the doctor's office & the older woman next to me has the same birthday as me!

December 22, 2012
Worst heart burn right now

December 23, 2012
How do I have a headache?!

December 23, 2012
No, that's cool.. Don't answer my texts...

December 25, 2012
I keep wanting to tell people I'm pregnant because its christmas, but I'm not.

December 25, 2012
This headache will not go away..

December 26,2012
You're obviously not who I thought you were.

December 26, 2012
Why can't I have hair like a Disney princess?

December 27, 2012
Someone bring me a turkey stuffing & cranberry sauce sammie

December 27, 2012
Everyone & everything is annoying me today..

December 27, 2012
Getting random dick shots on snapchat <<<<

December 28, 2012
No reason to be mean, guy..

December 28, 2012
Just saying.. A 5 Ct. diamond looks good on me.

December 29, 2012
Making my birthday list. #excited

December 29, 2012
New picture. It's my sister and I at my bachelorette party back when she was pretty. Now she has a half shaved head & crazy tattoos.

December 30, 2012
Forever sick to my stomach #saveeeeme

December 30, 2012
Been coughing all day. Why am I always sick with SOMETHING?

December 30, 2012
Very sick.. Hot and cold at the same time. Sore throat, chest is tight & hard to breathe. Plus my tummy is always sick..

December 30, 2012
Platelets are dangerously low.. I need my hematologist/oncologist STAT.

December 30, 2012
Someone please bring me something that will sooth my throat and make my tummy not sick..

December 31, 2012
But why is my fever back?

December 31, 2012
New Years at the [in-laws].. #newyears #sick

5 comments:

  1. I love when you post these. They always brighten my day. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete
  2. As I recall, she already HAD a huge belly. I thought she was already pregnant? The "Mermaid" pictures-thought she was pregnant then-with triplets. Oh well. Maybe it was actually a whale in there...or more likely, a Great White Shark, full-term.
    TW

    ReplyDelete
  3. The weird emptiness one is so telling.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That is one of the most depressing things I've ever seen. And one of the most potent examples of a complete lack of self-awareness as well. Funniest part: she thinks she's a kind person? Really??

    pq

    ReplyDelete