A note to estranged parents: Guys, I just wanna give you a heads-up here. You know, to save you the trouble of leaving stupid comments on my blog that read like jokes to me and are worth nothing more than the wave of a hand and the blow of a raspberry before I go on about my business: If you're planning on using stale rhetoric to try and convince anyone here that you are right, that your estranged adult child is nothing but a spoiled brat who doesn't respect you or deserve your respect, or that the entirety of "this generation" (which is really funny considering that I know quite a few people from different generations who are dealing with estrangements from their parents) is spoiled and narcissistic and therefore crazy in any decisions they make to leave their FOOs, then consider yourself warned: I'm telling you now that if you come here posting shit that sounds anything like that, it will be published but dismissed.
Consider the following arguments already noted and for the love of all that's holy, just keep it to yourself. I've already heard this shit and it's getting really, really old:
- None of us could possibly know our parents or in-laws enough to know if they are capital-E "Evil."
- The words and actions of a parent or in-law are not a good indication of who they are and should therefore not be assessed accordingly.
- All parents and in-laws deserve respect no matter what
- All "kids" of "this generation" were handed their lives on a silver platter
- Most estranged adult sons and daughters are selfish, immature, and narcissistic
- Estranged adult sons and daughters (and their spouses and offspring) should offer forgiveness to whomever the estranged parents see fit
- Estranged adults owe it to their parents, and in some cases siblings, to abandon their own "perceived" truths and realities in order to fit back into whatever mold their parents created for them
- If an adult son is estranged, it's probably mostly due to his crazy, narcissistic, manipulative wife, who tore him away from everyone he loved and all of his friends and other people who "really" care about him. (And vice versa for estranged adult daughters)
- We should be ashamed of ourselves, because you say so
- It would be fantastic if our children "abandon" us the way we've "abandoned" you
- All estranged adults are heathens for not believing in their parents' god
- Everything is to blame for the estrangement, except for the the parent or the history of the parent/child relationship or parent/DIL or SIL relationship
- We're too insensitive or are making a mountain out of a molehill, merely taking note of every "perceived" slight as a way to gather evidence against our parents/in-laws to keep them at bay
- Estranged adult kids and their spouses must clearly be expecting perfection (whatever that means) from their parents
- We should just accept that our parents or in-laws 'did the best they could' and let go of our petty and trivial "excuses" for "leaving the family."
- Estranged adult kids would be better off divorcing their spouses and allowing their parents full access to their children
- We were not abused, disrespected, devalued, dejected, disregarded, or unloved in any way, shape or form
- Most estranged parents or in-laws were "too good" or "too nice" or "too loving" to their adult sons and daughters
- Estranged adult kids and their spouses are just bullies, who did not (I repeat did not) learn it, or any other undesirable behaviors, from their parents
- Adult children owe "common courtesy" to their parents, which means that when an estranged parent shows up unannounced and uninvited at their child's door, the child is obligated to open it and welcome them with open arms
- Adult children should drop everything (including their spouses and children) and run whenever their parents need them
- Anything important to the parent transcends anything that could possibly be important to the adult child
- If the term "I'm sorry" has ever been uttered, spoken, or thought, the estranged adult child should accept it and move back in with his parents immediately, no questions asked; if it has not been mentioned, the estranged adult child should accept that he doesn't deserve it
- The estranged adult child has no right to ask any questions, and if he does, he should understand that he doesn't deserve any answers
- A form letter is a great indication of how hard an estranged parent is trying to connect with his or her adult son or daughter
- Estranged adult children were all raised with love, kindness, and happiness, even if the adult child says otherwise. In cases where the adult child was "legitimately" abused...it always could have been worse.
- If the adult child experienced any turmoil in his or her childhood, either real or "imagined," it's just inevitable and should be dismissed
- Estranged parents had it worse than their kids
- Truisms are awesome and should be used to maintain a false front of intelligence, wisdom, and purity
- GOD, and therefore, come back to the FOO
I could go on, but hopefully you get my point.
Actually, chances are you won't get my point at all and you'll find loopholes in what I'm saying here, but whatever. My point is this: leave comments like the examples I've given above and find yourself an Open Your Eyes and See pariah. I'll read it. I'll even publish it.
But inside, I'll be laughing like hell. 'Cause you sound like a moron. Quit crapping on my lawn.