Saturday, December 29, 2012

Your Ignorance

I'm not going to censor myself to comfort your ignorance.
- Jon Stewart

After an anonymous reader came on to my blog and attempted to reveal both mine and my husband's identities on December 4, 2012, some of you may have noticed that I temporarily took down a few of my posts: specifically the ones that contained a majority of NSIL's tweeting history. It just doesn't do to have words like "bully" and "mean" being lobbed at me by anon fucktards who clearly don't have an accurate grasp on the definition of such words. At that time, I decided to temporarily remove those posts in an effort to appease an individual with an obviously mutated set of beliefs about me, my husband, and my husband's fucked up FOO. I figure anon wanted to march in here with a set of brass balls while waving a tiny dick at me and issuing subtle threats about "telling on me" if I didn't make some changes around here. The thing is, I run a tight fucking ship around here. And I don't very much like people sneaking around smearing shit on the walls when they think I'm not looking.

When I have time, I will be revamping those posts in such a way that NSIL's precious fucking identity isn't so easily given away, even though, -ahem- she's out on the internet pimping herself out every day as we speak, in a very public way, where anyone who knows her fucking name can find her.

What I've got right here though, are all the tweets that I feel I have every right to re-post, since they specifically refer to my husband (and in one case, to both me and my husband). You see, by anon's logic, I've apparently made it very easy for people to find NSIL online. But here's the real fucking truth of the matter: If anyone finds my blog, it means they went out searching for it. They'd have had to do at least a little digging to do so, unless of course, someone else has already accomplished the job of hunting us down and simply sent them a link to it. And if anyone from my husband's past finds my blog then they'd have to already know me (and therefore already know NMIL and Co.) in order to make all these fucking links about identity. Furthermore, they'd all have to recognize themselves or NMIL and Co. in the shit I write about. Sure, all they had to do once they found my blog was do a search for some of the tweets I posted, and they'd find NSIL's twitter page but they also could have found her on their own simply by searching for her name on Google - they don't really need me for that.  Fact of the matter is, the only people who give a shit about NSIL's real identity are either A) People who already know her and wish to defend her right to live a pathetic life or B) People who would like to try and sabotage me because they have some sort of personal vendetta against my Truths already.

I think the aspect of anon's little diatribe that I found most funny was the claim that NSIL is just "troubled." Because what I know of NSIL speaks to a truth that isn't quite so fucking quaint. Painting NSIL as the "poor little troubled girl" doesn't speak to the truth of how she's behaved towards either me or my husband these past few years, nor does it hold much water when held up to the shit she tweets about.  What it effectively does is remove any and all responsibility from her shoulders. I found myself wondering, in the case that I turned anon on to NSIL's twitter account for the first time, did anon spend any fucking time actually reading it? Because if so, I'm not sure how anyone with two eyes and even half a brain could read through that shit and come away with the rather unspectacular conclusion that she's just a po' po' troubled girl. And if anon had known about NSIL's twitter account prior to stalking me down here, then it's no wonder to me why NSIL is going to drown in the puddle she's standing in: that girl has willingly surrounded herself by a bunch of fucking morons and bumble fucks who apparently can't see her at all.

Prior to J showing up on our porch last month, I had been warning DH for months if not years that this exact scenario would occur: NSIL - attempted suicide - people contacting DH - blaming him. I started telling DH that before she made her tweets public. Why? Because it was so fucking obvious that the only people who couldn't see it were the ones right next to her who are USING her for their own sick personal gain. But just for the record: even as a victim, I don't just see her as a poor, poor, pity-her troubled girl. Is she troubled? Sure. Is she delusional? Absolutely. Has she been abused by her NM? Definitely. Will she make it out of the dysfunction? Probably not. Is she turning into as good a manipulator as her mother? Yes. Is she cold and calculating? Certainly looks like it to me.

And if she can sit there and write the following in a very public place, under her real identity - thereby making it VERY easy for anyone who knows her to know exactly who the brother is that she's talking about - then I have no problem breaking the dysfunctional rules: 

March 7, 2011
NSIL: I miss my brother.#waitwhatbrother
Exhibit A: i miss him too. have you spoken to him recently?
NSIL: i literally havent talked to him in probably 6 months.

March 14, 2011
We are all starting to forget you were ever part of this family.

May 19, 2011
i miss my brother #randomtweet

June 22, 2011
Happy Birthday to a #nonexistent brother.

June 23, 2011
i want a new family.

July 14, 2011
You ruined this family

September 15, 2011
NSIL: our lives would be so different if you didnt walk out. #imissmybrother 
Exhibit A: i'm sorry. :( is there anything i can do love?
NSIL: aww thanks but no :( if he comes back we should all get tattoos! lol

November 25, 2011
and its times like these that i wish my brother was still around...

December 1, 2011
A brother is a friend God gave you; a friend is a brother your heart chose.

December 25, 2011
NSIL: all i fucking want is to talk to my brother on christmas
Exhibit A: I'm sorry love ): when did you last hear from him?
NSIL: a year and a half ago or more. they changed their phone mumbers.. it really sucks.
Exhibit A: omg!!!! What the fuckkkk ): I'm so sorry!!!
NSIL: hha its ok. yeah it does :( thanks though, love ya

February 19, 2012
All I want is for my brother to watch me play lacrosse before I graduate. #wishfulthinking

April 19, 2012
i would do anything to have my brother back

May 16, 2012
There's nothing I want more than to have my brother see me graduate.

May 22, 2012
I wish my brother was in my life

August 18, 2012
days like today I think of you #missmybrother

November 6, 2012
You're the only one that could somewhat understand this and make me feel slightly better right now but that won't happen.
November 23, 2012 7:50 PM
Communicating with my brother for the first time in 2 years...

November 27, 2012
It is so strange to me that my brother is literally a different person completely..and evil and insane and I will never talk to again.

It is a strange set of rules that NMIL follows; a set of rules that seem prevalent in only the most dysfunctional families. I'll give you an example of the kind of rules I'm talking about: How about the rule that says that members still entangled in the narcissist's great web of dysfunction can still willingly and without-empathy mount smear campaigns against the black sheep, but that the black sheep can not ever discuss his/her thoughts, feelings, or experiences? How about the rule that says that the only people who can break the rules are the ones who made them in the first place? How about the rule that says that anyone who speaks anything that doesn't paint the narcissist in only the most flattering of lights gets labeled "bully" or "liar" or "mean."

There are many things about my world that are different from the world my husband came from. Unlike his FOO, I don't put my shit on the internet in a public space and assume that I won't meet a dissenting of opinions. I don't expect that everyone will like what I have to say or that those who don't won't take it elsewhere to discuss it on their own time and in their own way. I have always known it was a possibility that DH's FOO would intentionally land here and I have, in many ways, already prepared for it. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I haven't said anything here that I either haven't already said to DH's FOO, or wouldn't have said if I had gotten the chance. And if now's my chance, than they can have at it. This is a public blog, in a public space, open to public opinion. And I am well-aware that the "public"includes DH's FOO. If they don't like it, they can see themselves right back out.

In terms of NSIL's tweets above, I don't see a person who was "simply" missing her brother. What I see is a rather complex procession of statements indicative of a very weak-minded individual who would rather die for her NM's cause than wake the fuck up and realize that the answers are out in the world, and not up her mother's ass. I see a girl who refuses to get away from the dysfunctional people who have always and will continue to drag her down for as long as she is alive. I see a girl who has taken a page from her NM's book and decided that every problem in her life is someone else's fault. I see a selfish, manipulative, pathetic person who is willing to throw her brother under the bus in order to appease the one woman who loves to watch her drown one minute, one hour, one day at a time. I see the product of hatred and envy and greed. I see a self-objectified bimbo who can't see anything other than what her NM is pointing at.


  1. I find it amazing that anon won't allow you and your DH to speak your truth and make observations about publicly posted Tweets, yet the narcissists are allowed their forum.

    I can't understand how people buy into the self-pity party. But those who stand strong against the nonsense are to be maligned?

    If NSIL didn't want the whole world to find her, she'd get off her Twitter stage. With all her whining, I'd say she's of the school of Negative Attention is Better Than None.

  2. Narc rule #1 "Do as I say not as I do."

    In other words, "It's OK for me to trash you to the whole world via social media but you can't anonymously blog about my behaviour because everyone will instantly recognize me."

    And VR, there was a period in my teaching career when I taught kids with serious behaviour problems, some of whom had their own one-on-one teaching assistant. One way these poor little fuckers cried out for help was by thinking "Negative Attention is Better Than None". We retrained them by giving them attention ONLY when they behaved appropriately. There were times, when they were screaming filth in my face and I didn't react that I damn near qualified for sainthood!

    Not sure if this would work with the likes of NSIL but no one will have a chance to test it until she manages to behave like a decent human being.

    1. MF, I wish more parents would practice that method with their fit-throwing kids in the store. I'd rather see the kid brat-screaming and being ignored than seeking their parents coddle them or give into the tantrum.

  3. Jonsi, I think your fearless exposure is great. I am a HUGE advocate of BITE BACK. You want to malign ME? Here ya go, here's a big plate of Right Back Atcha.

    I know for the sake of your DH and your kids you have to sort of reign it in - but man, I'd like to see you really take them on. ME? I'd rent a big billboard right off the highway and post her tweets for all to see. I'd stretch the edges of the law so hard - but not *pop* 'em. These people live juusst inside the borders there, so I'd meet them there and have at it.

    I'm a VENGEFULL bitch tho, lol. You have more restraint!

    1. I wish I had a little less restraint. T'would be more fun. I do have to reign it in a bit for the kiddles (not so much for DH any more as he's a little rougher around the edges these days, which is a good thing).

  4. Obviously, the "anons" have gone out of their way to track you down, aka, Stalking. Again, the fact they recognize you, DH, the situations in which you have found yourselves tells me they AREN'T "anon" at all.
    Interestingly, the only people who engage in Stalking appear to be N's and their N-Wannabe Minions. Lacking in ANY personal integrity, they hide between their "anon" instead of owning their "opinions" as would anyone who truly felt they had something of value to add to the discussion. (Obviously, they don't.)
    NSIL is a train wreck and consequently, "Mummy" will loose both of her kids one way or another. She should have had them yanked from her care years ago but hey, they served their "Purpose." Other than needing them to complete the "faux picture of Familial Perfection" on certain occasions, these "accessories" are no longer really necessary to NMIL: She has her "Minions" and how very interesting they aren't even in her cohort group in terms of age. Then again, they likely are in terms of maturity. There's something undeniably creepy about having your kid's cohorts YOUR Reference Group.

  5. You make many lovely points which I agree with whole-heartedly.