Thursday, December 20, 2012

Tactics Of Covert Bullies

From a favorite site of mine, Bullies Be Gone:

Covert bullies are sneaky, manipulative and controlling.  They abuse in secret; it’s much harder to get evidence against them.

Some of the techniques overt and covert bullies use:

- They get out of control and throw temper tantrums (like children).  They’ll have physical or verbal explosions or give the “Loud Silent Treatment.”  They get power by anger and rage.
- They indulge in personal vendettas and scapegoat victims.
- They make harsh judgments or remarks or put-downs.  They’re experts in personal criticism and negativity.
- They talk down to people.  They push sensitive places in order to make other people feel bad.
- Their feelings matter; yours don’t.  They make the rules; you don’t.  Their reasons make sense; yours don’t.  They’re right; you’re wrong.
- They’re instigators.  They pour gas on the fire, get other people to fight and they create “uproar.”  They’re splinters.
- They’re control-freaks and turf protectors.  They’re always right and righteous.
- They’re relentlessly negative, critical, naysayers who are impossible to please.  They complain until they get attention.
- They tease, taunt and use name calling put-downs.  They use people as emotional punching bags.
- They make nasty, ugly, vicious, snide jokes or cut you down, followed by “I was just kidding” or “You’re too sensitive” or “I didn’t mean anything bad” or “I was only having a little fun.”
- They mock with non-verbal, disrespectful “editorial” comments like eye rolling or snorting.
- They form school yard cliques to cut out their targets.
- They’re passive-aggressive.  They manipulate, triangulate, and stimulate unhappiness and drama.
- They spread rumors, gossip, innuendos and lies.
- They’re great debaters who never let you win.  They’re antagonistic boundary pushers who do the minimum and undercut authority and systems.
- They always blame others.  Nothing is ever their fault.  They have endless excuses and justifications while showing little-no improvement.


  1. Describes the NGC to a "T", closely followed by my NF, and I'm beginning to think they'll never let up.

    Fuck 'em!

  2. Bullies suck.
    I dealt with enough of that crap as a kid, I'm not willing to tolerate it as an adult.

    Jonsi, another great site is "Kickbully", if you're not already familiar with it--it's chock full of strategies, and comebacks, for different situations.

    I swear--the next time an adult attempts to use blatant bullying tactics on me, I"m going to call them out on it, on the spot.

    I'll ask them if they'll stop acting like a schoolyard bully, if I give them my lunch money.........

    (maybe that will get their attention..) ;0) heh heh heh

    1. Thanks Freestyle - "Kickbully" is a website that needs to be checked out, based solely on the merits of it's awesome fucking name.

      PS - You're funny. :)

  3. Shared a link to this one. Covert activities increase around Christmas because they are afraid they are not the center of the universe. They feel a need to compete with Christ or Santa, whoever they fear most.

  4. Hey! I know a few of them, up close and personal. My NM is the rager, never-ever-ever her fault and the long cold silent treatment type. My Nsis is the stealth, passive-aggressive, behind the back, no witness, never wrong, always right, smartest person in the world bully.

  5. My NM ticks off every box. What an eye-opening read!

  6. This is my mother and my sister to a perfectly crossed T. They admit nothing -- I'm always wrong, and if they did anything then I just "deserved" it.

  7. I am a victim of hating jealous bullies from so called friends right up to the local authority that are trying to discriminate against me to make me lose my daughter and my home..suicide is feeling like a good way to end all of this misery,they will never leave me alone and I believe its cos im not a council tax paying rich torie supporting snob...left by everyone to rot in poverty..why?

    1. Hi Anon, please seek help. I don't know what problems you face, but there are people and support groups out there that can help you. There are good people in the world, in spite of the darkness. I know you can pull through.