It's kind of funny that we apparently have so much power over them, and that every time they vie for control, they actually just give it all to us.
I had a chat with a police officer today. It was reassuring. He told us that we're on the right track to get restraining orders, given my detailed notes, the police records we already have, and the fact that these people have already been warned several times about the consequences for their harassment. I'd have no problem calling the police on these twat plugs, and since they insist on upping the ante from push to shove, it looks like they haven't given us any other choices but to do that.
Here's the shit we got in the mail yesterday. There were three cards in total, one birthday card for DS and one Christmas card each for DS and DD:
|DS Birthday Card (side 1): Love, Grandpa EFIL and Grandma L - We opened an acct for you...the reciept is in your Christmas card - we look -->|
|DS Birthday Card (side 2): forward to seeing you again someday until then we want you to know you ARE in our hearts and prayers.|
|DS Christmas Card (side 1): Merry Christmas DS! We are not able to give you your Christmas present in person but we want you to know we are saving them to give you when you are older. We started a|
|DS Christmas Card (side 2): savings account for you and we know it will be a blessing in the future. We love you and you are in our hearts and prayers you have 3 new cousins we hope you will meet someday. Love Grandpa EFIL and Grandma L|
|Copy of bank deposit slip, with DS's name written in upper right-hand corner|
|Original bank deposit slip with DD's name spelled wrong in upper right-hand corner and account number blacked out|
"L's," he responded.
"That's what I fucking thought." The envelopes had no return addresses on them, but if I wasn't already planning on keeping this fuckery for legal evidence, I would have put the return address on there myself and sent that shit right back where it came from. I STILL have half a mind to photocopy it, go crazy with my fucking bullshit stamp all over it and send it back to them.
I probably won't do that, but it is a fantasy I like to play out in my mind every once in a while.
That's the thing about going NC though. We'd just be digging the hole fucking deeper if we broke our own NC in order to tell them to fuck off. We'll have to come up with a better way of accomplishing that particular goal.
So, in terms of the messages inside the cards and the continued games they are playing, my basic analysis is this: EFIL and L are some seriously sick and delusional fucking people. It's really not a difficult concept to comprehend what "Get the fuck off my porch and take your fucking blood money with you" means. But these aren't complete idiots we're dealing with - they get it, they understand it, they know exactly what we've asked them to do. They're just flat out refusing to do it. They think they know better than us. They actually think that if they put aside fifty bucks a year...oh excuse me, one hundred bucks a year...for the only two children of ours they were ever (or will ever be) lucky enough to meet, that eventually DH will cave and "come back to the family" and that maybe someday they'll be able to use it to con those children into
So, I'm kind of like. Yeah dudes. Whatever. Send that shit to my kids if you feel like it someday. This is probably what will happen if you do: Having been explained the truth about you and your fucking bitch-ass tactics of manipulation and guilt-peddling over the years, and being fully aware and knowledgeable about precisely what kind of people you are, and having not had a relationship with you for their entire lives, it's most likely that they wouldn't want anything to do with you anyway. But the way I see it, this shit will only go one of several ways: either they will continue putting aside money arbitrarily or as they see fit and, if they are still attempting to manipulate DH whenever they feel our kids are "grown up" enough to be offered their share of blood money, they will likely attempt to offer it to our kids someday with loads of fucking strings attached. In that case, if our children don't jump through whatever hoops they've set up, they probably won't ever see the money. -OR- EFIL and L will stop putting money aside and forget they ever attempted it in the first place. -OR- They actually will attempt to send the money to our kids someday, in the hopes that someone's guilt-buttons somewhere will be pushed enough that it forces their target into setting up some mushy fucking family reunion, at which EFIL and L can bash Jonsi and DH for all their sins and wickedness over the years and our children will be their best fucking friends/doormats/long-lost grandchildren who they loved so so so so so soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much but whom they were never ALLOWED to see.
The thing about the three new cousins made me fucking laugh so hard. You want to know why?
Because we don't fucking care.
Not even...not even a little bit. I mean, no one here gives one tiny shit...not one tiny god damned shit that L's kids have babies. DH never had a relationship with his step-siblings to begin with. It's laughable to think that, even if we were still in contact with them, our kids would have any sort of actual relationships with THEIR kids.
And okay, so call me cray cray, but does anyone think EFIL and L really believed we were going to read these shit-plastered cards to our fucking kids? I mean, we could have handed the fucking cards to our kids but they wouldn't have been able to read them, seeing as how they're two and three years old. I can't imagine these people are that fucking stupid - no one could possibly be dense enough to think we'd actually read this shit to our kids. No one. Which means that the only other possibility, naturally, is that the messages were really for us. Like our shredded up card was a message to them, this was their message to us: Stop saying no to us, because that's not allowed. We're still not going to leave you alone, because we're bigger than the fucking law. Accept Jesus into your fucking lives and deal with the fact that we're just gonna keep praying for you, and professing our love to you by stalking you and harassing you and ambushing you and blaming you and curb-stomping your boundaries every chance we get. We want the power and control. We want the power and control. WE WANT THE POWER AND CONTROL.
As always, those fucking cards had ZERO to do with our kids and everything to do with their need to be top dog. They'll "make SURE" our kids get that money, because they want our kids to believe that it's OUR fault they haven't gotten it already. They keep the control over these supposed accounts so that they can make attempts to hold it over our heads, and maybe eventually theirs as well. They're too dense to realize that my children are being raised in a non-abusive environment and they have a mother who WILL teach them to be self-aware and to spot manipulators coming a mile away. I will be vigilant, I will teach them how to read people and situations, and I will do my absolute best to give them the self-confidence they need to avoid people like EFIL and L. I am still working with DH, and I will never give up working with him to teach him those same skills. We work at it on a daily basis.
And ultimately, we will give our children something that EFIL and L never gave theirs: the freedom to make their own damn decisions. You see, when my children are adults, it will no longer be my responsibility to keep them away from my husband's FOO. I will leave it up to them to decide at that point how they might want to handle whatever shit gets flung in their direction. I will always be there to offer guidance where needed, and I will spend their entire lives talking with them about all of our dysfunctions: my husband's, mine, his FOO's, my FOO's - any questions they have will get answered with Truth, every time. Unlike EFIL and L, we will not try to manipulate and control our children and we will do our very best to teach them to recognize toxic people when they see them.
What's next on the agenda? Keeping records. Tucking away each bit of paper as evidence. Plans to call the police at next provocation: be it phone call, an in-person visit from anyone we have deemed "undesirable" or written communication. The legal advice I got today was that we have done everything we need to do to take the next step.
And damn it, when they cross the next line, we will take it.
EFIL and L can take their Bible-Thumping bullshit and shove it. I'll keep records of all of it with a god-damned smile on my face the whole time.
A GOD-damned smile.
I have no time or patience for these Born-Again Bigots.