the Truth is in the details
I really don't know what to say to this. Because I'm sure it is a relief for you on some levels. And I'm sure your DH is hurt on some levels. And it is clear that NSIL really, really is a lost cause. And delusional. Hugs guys.
If I may be so bold. Let it fly by like the Aurora Borealis and resist the temptation to respond.
Oh, of course Q! We wouldn't think of destroying the most peace we've seen this side of DH's extraction in order to respond to the little twit. As far as I'm concerned, she's done us a couple of favors, including but not limited to: a) making a public announcement that she'll have nothing to do with us and b) having nothing to do with us
Wow. Openness and closure for you. Things are so very clear now. Hugs for you both.I suppose she didn't want to react in any way before she got her NM's approved emotional reaction. Now that she knows how she's supposed to feel, she can express it to all the Flying Monkeys reading the tweets.
Don't you just love when they "punish" you like this? Pure heaven!
I really do - she has no idea what a real gift this is.
Jonsi, I keep trying to respond without the snark coming to the forefront. I keep trying to get past the grammatical horror and I can't. Literally? Pronouns?Oh help me. I'm sorry for you and DH that NSIL has made it so clear that the dark side is where she will stay (and where she belongs.) It hurts to lose people that you've cared about, even if it is by their choice.I'm glad that you've been given some clarity about the matter, though, very glad. I'm even more glad that you can see it for what it is: truth. Literally.Love,Vanci
That she would attempt to paint your hubs as evil for attempting to help her shows that either she's trying to get her digs in at him in a way she knows he won't respond to where he and her mother can still see for the benefit of her mother's approval, or she really has crossed over to the dark side. I applaud your husband for trying, and I'm glad she took this step to help him see that letting go of her is necessary. She broke the chain.
I think you just won. When the N's decide to not talk to people again, it's definitely a good thing, and peaceful.Q's Sis
Waiting is over. This is information that you can work with. Sorry she was so nasty to your DH. He reached out and she slapped his hand away. Not a good feeling but like you said it is very freeing.
It is often impossible not to help and reach out. Often we do just that.Your DH was very mature and very helpful in his responses to her "plight" (self made and manipulative as it is).And you never know, years and years from now maybe some self reflection will happen, and his words will start to make sense to her.She is an adult now, and even if she has not been prepared by her parents, her life and the quality of her life are soley in her hands now. No one can "save" someone who does not want saving. (and is probably doing what she isdoing as a form of manipulation not just to your DH by the way).I never felt more free (and upset too) than when I found my mother's blog about me and our situation. It really allowed me to let go of my guilt.
Evil? DH is EVIL for reaching out. Even for having a different opinion of their mother. EVIL. That is a pretty strong word.I hope your DH is doing well - I know he has you for support. I hope he's moving THROUGH all this bullshit they have thrown at him. I hope he's snuggling those babies and you and rejoicing in his freedom from THEM.She (NSIL) is doing everything she can to stay in her mother's good graces. And jeebus she needs to grow the fuck up. I don't feel sorry for her, not for her "suicide" attempt, not for her lack of friends and education... nothing. She's sleeping in the bed she made. Sweet dreams.
Gotta admit, Gladys, I've been running around singing Jefferson Starship.I'm so glad I found you, I'm not gonna leave you, whatever it takes, I will stay here with you...Let 'em say we're crazy, I don't care about that! Put your hand in my hand baby, don't ever look back...Let the world around us just fall apart!Baby we can make it if we're heart to heartFitting, right? ;o)
^YES! It sure is! How's DH doin' with this? Gonna take a bit to process, no doubt. I HOPE she and NMIL-I agree, she had to run it past Mummy-Dearest FIRST-actually believe this and DO leave you, DH and the kiddos alone. But ohhh my, they are SUCH Drama Junkies. Jessie used a great term, "Death Spiral" in another comment and indeed, "Mummy-Dearest" and her "DD" are surely doing it.NSIL will hit terra firma first with an anorexic bounce, multiple tats/piercings, a few superficial cuts to the wrists perhaps to "pretty it up" accompanied by the necessary accoutrements: Lilly P's latest hand-bag, a "Juicy" track suit in size Toddler in a perverse twist on the very curvaceous (and by contemporary "standards," fat) role model, her "Idol" Marilyn Monroe. Maybe a disastrous "Wedding-of-the-Year" will proceed the event considering the impressive track record Mummy-Dearest has demonstrated with LTRs or Marriage. Mummy-Dearest will of course "arrange" the strategic Marriage to keep "DD" doing SOMETHING while all of her contemporaries are moving on with their young adult lives, educations etc. This will also ensure Mummy-Dearest retains a firm hold on her "Mini-ME" and free NMIL from the rather..annoying distraction of her flagrantly failing "DD" so NMIL can focus on what REALLY "matters," HER. NMIL is among the group of the World's Most Self-Preserving Individuals, a true MN. NSIL is among the other end of the spectrum of N's, the Self-Destructive.Again, I just hope they leave you all in peace. I'm channeling Richie Haven's "Freedom" ;)TW
TW - I LOVE your comments. All of them. You rock, woman.
T-Dub, I have a feeling NMIL will come around again at some point, but I'm keeping my fingers crossed that she stays away for a long while.Like, long enough for us to move (when our family grows large enough we'll probably have to) so that we can leave behind no forwarding address; long enough for DH to retire or else change his phone number at work to unlisted; long enough for us to grow old and move on from this life; long enough for our children and their children and their children to grow old too.Wouldn't that be nice?Until then, I'll keep my sword polished in the attic and my brass knuckles under the bed. You know. Just in case.
Just saw this... wow ... lol. Who posts this???? It shouldn't amaze me but it always does.. the immaturity of n's who don't get their way. Really childish.
Evil and Insane? Pure unadulterated projection.
Crap. Just crap. I heard from my brother, my brother's wife and my sister in the past 24 hours. After hearing nothing from them for months. Hope is a bitch. Crap. Just crap. I need to let this go.
[[Vi]] The moon is full tonight and the narcs are out in full force. I went out to search for a quote that would speak to your situation. And this is what I came up with:""So, Lone Starr, now you see that evil will always triumph because good is dumb." - Dark HelmetSigh. In the end, you just gotta flick the switch from suck. To blow.
I thought of that too, Jonsi - full moon and the crazies are out. Vi, I'm so sorry you're getting bombarded. Jayzhus - i still think we all need to move to the Tundra with TW and have a narc-free commune.
Agh. I'm furious on your DH's behalf. Ranting in my house about the evil of narcissistic mothers. Just fucking Not Okay. Arg.
Ah, the drama is never-ending with narc mommies, I must say. It continues, even now, what with the twittering twats tweeting away. But I have actually tucked away some of the recent events as a "win" in our pocket.Have you read Q's recent post yet? It's spot on.
Good god. I am so so sorry for your husband. I recently found yours and his blogs through Upsi's, and was hoping that his sister might start peeping through the crack in the door you were opening. How awful. Freeing, but awful. pq
Enjoy it while you can, 'cause you know it ain't gonna last. You've drawn a (legal) line, and lord knows Ns LOVE a challenge! I love that the one who is pink-slipped is the one calling your DH insane. Precious. -Phewd
It is charming, isn't it?