Thursday, November 15, 2012

Intel

After several days of not being in the office, DH went in to work yesterday and discovered that on November 6, 2012, his sister called him at work six times. She called him six times but didn't leave any messages. She called him at 2:20 PM, 2:21 PM, 3:17 PM, 3:41 PM, 3:42 PM, and 3:47 PM. Then, at 4:03 PM, she tweeted the line I wrote about in this post: "You're the only one that could somewhat understand this and make me feel slightly better right now but that won't happen." Dear Readers, if we had any doubt before that the person she was tweeting about was my husband, that doubt has since been completely erased. Following that whopper, she posted one superficial, yet insightful tweet about how she missed high school and wanted to relive those four years, and one final tweet about the election at 6:38 PM. Roughly around that same time was when her NM posted the gag-worthy picture of the two of them from Exhibit A's wedding that was likely put there as NMIL's "big effort" to show what a "supportive" mommy she is.

DH and I think it likely that it was around that time that NSIL was discharged from the hospital. We've tossed around a couple of ideas about NSIL's behaviors before she started her ongoing internet hiatus and these are the most-likely possibilities we came up with:

- Her impending discharge from the hospital was fast approaching and she was desperate enough to call DH again, perhaps in the hope that he would come and take her away; rescue her from whatever rehabilitation clinic she was about to be shuttled off to; or come and see her.

- She was attempting to manipulate him into calling her back by overwhelming him with tons of phone calls but never leaving a message stating what she wanted. I will admit, she's peaked my curiosity and DH has been antsy for the last 48 hours, trying to figure out what the hell she was calling about. I suggested that she chose not to leave messages because, though clearly desperate as indicated by the number of times she called and the fact that each call was only a few minutes (in some cases only one minute) apart, she sensed that the suspense created gave her more power and control than she would have had otherwise.

- I also pointed out to DH that I'm kind of pissed. Because in all this time, she's never once picked up the phone to try calling DH. She's never once sent him a card or a letter or tried to email him. (And acknowledge me or our children? Forget it.) But now that she needs something and her life is in a state of crisis she's blowing up his phone. Now that she wants him she's contacting him. And that bothers me because she's just using him; and when he doesn't respond the way she wants him to, it will likely just cement her loyalty to her NM; who is no doubt back there, even as I write this, pulling all of her strings and triangulating. And really what it comes down to, in my opinion, is that it is not our problem that NSIL is so fucking enmeshed with her slimy NM that she went NC with us when DH sent his letter of NC to NMIL. I've always wondered whether NSIL knew about that letter, and though that question has still not been answered and probably won't ever be, it is pretty apparent to me that NSIL didn't require that kind of knowledge to choose who she was more loyal to. And it's not our fucking problem. If she wants to live with some bitch who's going to lie to her and to everyone else, who's going to steal her fucking mail, who's going to engage in power struggles every damn second of her damn life, then that's NSIL's problem. Not ours.

Which reminds me: We do think it likely that NMIL has intercepted DH's letters to his sister. Which is unfortunate because I have NO DOUBT that she has confiscated them, that she will read them (all under that "loving mother" guise, if she needs to explain to anyone why she has gone through her daughter's mail) and that she will ONLY show them to NSIL if, and only if, she can use them to further manipulate. If she can't, or she feels those letters are too much of a risk to her power, then NSIL will never see them and NMIL will "forget" they ever existed.

DH told me today that it bothers him to think that his sister is out there somewhere, thinking that he didn't try at all; thinking that he didn't try to contact her. I welcomed DH into my world, and then we talked about how much it sucks that not only is it likely that she will not ever see those letters, but that even if she does, they probably won't help her because either her NM will be using them to manipulate -OR- as I've mentioned before, she'll just become enraged because DH hasn't offered her the kind of help she is looking for.

After all, what she really wants is for DH to "make her feel better." He's the ONLY one who can do that, you see.

On a better note, we received the return receipt in the mail today for the NC letter we put in the mail for J. He received the letter two days ago, November 13, 2012. It was a pleasant surprise for us because we had thought, after we immediately got EFIL and L's return receipt, that J was going to let his expire or refuse to sign for it. As it turns out, luck was with us because he clearly did get it.

We have not heard a peep out of anyone and we figure that they are all hiding in the shadows, waiting for the next opportunity to strike. My guess is that their next move, that NMIL's next move, is going to be a big one.

I've got my face painted, my armor polished, and my battle axe ready, folks. Those fuckers ain't getting in here. Ain't no way. Ain't no how.

17 comments:

  1. Three questions I was asked before I sent a letter to my NPs, rephrased for NSIL:
    If she receives the letter, will she "hear" it?
    If she "hears" it, will she understand it?
    If she understands it, will anything change?

    In my case, I said "no" to all three but sent it anyway. My NPs seemed to pretend they never got it but then lied about its contents to the NGC.

    Same old, same old and that hurts like a bitch. Give DH a hug for me!

    Love, mulderfan

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    1. All great questions, I remember when you asked them of yourself. My answer would also be "no" to all three.

      Thanks for the hug - I'll pass it along to DH.

      Love,

      Jonsi

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  2. I hate the way this is unfolding. I hate that your DH AND your peaceful home are being attacked like this. And I HATE that it's going to escalate.

    You're a Warrior, Jonsi. Don't forget the Narc Wars poster - you and DH set your lasers and stand ready.

    We're all behind you. (I'm NOT playing the part of a Wookie.)

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    1. You're right, Gladys! No family should have to dig a moat and build a drawbridge around their own home! Jonsi and DH should be able to channel their energies into enjoying their family not warding off the forces of evil.

      Wish we could all take turns parking out front with our light-sabers charged and ready! Piss me off and I'm one scary old broad!

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    2. It's definitely escalating guys. I feel so on-guard. Today is NMIL's birthday. I'm hoping she'll be so busy celebrating herself (and secretly crying about the fact that she's reached her 50s) that she won't have time to bother us.

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    3. UGH. A narc's birthday. Expect flying monkeys - after all, HOW can DH ignore his sister, his father, his step-father, AND HIS PRETTY YOUNG MOMMY all right before the holidays OH WOE.

      Plus, she is probably having a party for herself, all of the flying monkeys will be there, and guess what the topic of conversation will be.

      Can you guys just move up to TW's house real quick? lol

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    4. Oy, don't I wish. I'd love to find a little cabin in the woods somewhere and never look back.

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    5. She turns 50 today? Crap. That's doesn't bode well for you. I'm already dreading NM's birthday next year. She's turning 60. I'm sure I'm expected to do something, but I don't want to. I hate having to worry about something a year in advance.
      Another part of me thought, she's only 50! Cripes, you have a long way to go dear.

      Best of luck to you guys today. I'll be thinking of you.

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    6. I have a feeling she'll garner lots of attention on account of her daughter being locked up somewhere for that recent (scandalous!) "stunt" she just pulled. But it will be interesting to see whether she tries to contact DH today. There's a part of me that's like, "Don't even try it bitch. You won't contact him directly for DD's birthday, but you'll contact him for your own?" Where are the police of Crazytown, someone needs to document this.

      I wish I could fast-forward her life but keep ours at the same pace.

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  3. IMO, your analysis is right on. His letter to his sister is going to be used against you folks-believe it.
    We're here. They want war, we've been there, done that.
    TW

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    1. I really had been hoping they'd just disappear into the shadows when they saw we weren't biting. Apparently not.

      I am currently eating my own words about them leaving us alone eventually. It was definitely wishful thinking on my part.

      It'll never make sense to me. What about "Leave us the fuck alone you crazy mother fuckers?" do they not understand? Hmph. Puzzling.

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    2. As you know I'm presently waiting for the other shoe to drop. The secret might be to not give a flying fuck where it lands and laughing at the narcs who've dropped their shoes!

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    3. I have to agree with you - wouldn't it be great if we just didn't give a fuck at all? That's the hard part. ;)

      I do care about what will happen when they attack my husband; or if they try to attack my children. I'm confident I can handle myself. I'm worried about the defenseless and the freshly-minted warriors among us. Including those in this community.

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  4. Everything you say, can and will be used against you in the narc court of law.
    If your sister in law could compartmentalize those parts of her life, it might be nice for her and your husband to rebuild the relationship.
    But she can't be trusted.

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    1. "But she can't be trusted."

      Exactly.

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  5. WHat part of "Leave us the fuck alone you crazy mother fuckers?" do they not understand?

    See, dear, you addressed them as "crazy mother fuckers" and they clearly think you are talking to the people behind them. Because there is no way THEY are crazy mother fuckers.

    And calling and leaving no message. Hmmmm, where have I seen that before?

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    1. Right - I momentarily forgot about the state of delusion in which they currently reside!

      I was thinking about you while writing this - They all play by the same rules.

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