Monday, October 8, 2012

They're Coming For You

So the thing about covering your eyes is that the monsters are still going to be there when you open them again. It's probably best not to hide. It's probably best to create a huge filter or a net or a trap (call it what you will) so that the monsters can't get past your defenses. They're still gonna try, but if you can ensnare them first, then you have the power to release them back into the wild, somewhere far away from your sacred spot. You can't stop them from showing up, but you can send them away every time they come a'knockin.

My question to you is, are you the little deformed child standing in the corner covering your eyes? Or are you the one observing the monster's attack? And what are you going to do about it?

9 comments:

  1. I'm just standing, petrified, not running away, not hiding, not covering my eyes, as I often just stand in my dreams, waiting out in the open for the monster to kill me, thinking it makes me brave to just be standing there waiting for death.

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    1. I think there is something to be said for not running away. Now you just need a plan, PA. Something to do when you feel afraid. I believe that there is some relief in having a plan.

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  2. I'm charging angrily to the defense of the child, 'cause damned if I'm going to let another kid get hurt. Have problems protecting myself and my boundaries, no problem defending others'. If only I could be a dragon slayer in my own life - that would really help!

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    1. I think we need some dragon slayers around here. I like to think that would be me too, charging in angrily to defend the child. And then sometimes I feel super helpless, like what the hell can I do to help? Sometimes I feel I can make a difference, other times I don't. And that sucks.

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  3. It wasn't that long ago I was the petrified child in the corner. I also had fingers in my ears doing the "la-la-la-la I can't hear you" thing. I'm now creating and implementing a plan.

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    1. The thing that freaks me out about the kid in the painting is that he has no hands and his head/face sort of look more like those of an adult. So he's like a warped child in a way, which I think is very representative of ACoNs (emotionally speaking). And I've seen firsthand in DH that very childlike behavior of the hands over the eyes and fingers in the ears thing. It doesn't stop the monsters from coming.

      You've come a long way, Judy, in my opinion. Your voice is one that I have a lot of respect for and I'm glad that you're working on a your plan. Sticking our fingers in our ears just doesn't amount to a very good plan. :o)

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  4. I had recurring nightmares as a child of falling down the stairs (after being chased or tripped) and being broken at the foot of the staircase when a monster would appear at the top... Leering at me with my mother's evil grin.

    In the dreams, I'd always shut my eyes, believing it made me invisible. Most times when I squeezed them shut, I would internally talk myself to waking. But then is lie shaking in my bed, afraid to open my eyes or step foot in the hallway. I learned young I'd find no comfort in seeking out my parents after a bad dream.

    Now, I try to face the demons down and not put up with their bullying shit. Don't always succeed, sometimes just want to crawl back into bed and close my eyes, but mostly, I want to live free of the monster's evil intent.

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    1. In the dreams, I'd always shut my eyes, believing it made me invisible." There it is. Just what the child is doing in the painting.

      It's a scary place you've come from Vicarious; where the monsters were there both in your dreams and out. I'm sad for little Vicarious, who couldn't run to her parents when she was frightened, mostly because it was her parents who were frightening her.

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  5. OK, something to keep the monster's mouth closed...I look around the room, the chair back rungs are way too close together to be any use...wait a minute, the square formed by the front edge of the chair seat and front two chair legs and the low rail between them is about the right size to do the job if jammed onto the monster's snout hard enough, especially if it can be done before it sees that someone is trying to do that to it. Plan B is to try to chuck the wooden toy down its throat so I can have more chances to get the chair jammed on its snout, etc.

    When I was young (I think later grade school), I had a nightmare of cowering under the dining room table while two roaring monsters that looked sort of like adult sized dinosaurs chased each other around and around the table, me hoping they wouldn't notice me.

    When I woke up, there was something that felt so vividly meaningful about the dream, something it seemed to strongly remind me of. My mind kept worrying at it throughout the day, until it hit me that it was how I felt during my parents arguments. I was amazed and intrigued to realize that my dreams could show my real life feelings like that.

    After that, when I had vivid dreams I could remember, I searched for what it seemed to represent in real life, and eventually learned that whenever it seemed to represent feelings and issues I was sure I didn't have, that if I paid more attention in real life, sure enough, I would catch myself ignoring my real feelings or concerns about something. That was one of the things that helped me escape denial.

    After college I read about dreams often having visual puns in them, which annoyed me because I thought that if that was true, I wouldn't be any good at figuring them out, but when I tried it, I found I could easily spot some, because of course they had to be made of information I was familiar with--and they generally revealed some aspect of the concern, that wasn't clear to me in real life, and usually the dreams would be about stuff I wasn't fully aware of in real life. --quartz

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