The good news is that they're obviously not taking the news of DH's new email blocking program at work very well. Which is why, naturally, Naunt sent her communication via snail mail to his place of business, instead of simply emailing him which is what she would have done in the past. This, among other things, tells me that they have tried to email DH at work, that their emails have been rejected, and that they are not happy about it. And being the busy little opportunists that they are, NMIL and Co. are likely all scurrying around trying to find new methods to spread their wealth of bullshit.
But before I can talk more about Naunt's little letter, I'm first going to mention some particularly pungent crap that NMIL has "suddenly" been spewing in a very public way on what was previously her completely private Facebook page. The reason I say "suddenly" is because I know it is not sudden, nor is its timing a coincidence. On October 5, the same day that Naunt put her little letter in the mail, NMIL posted a picture of NSIL on her Facebook page in a place that is visible to anyone who has a Facebook account. I had been anticipating that, at some point during NC, NMIL would decide to become intentionally provocative as a way to try and pull DH back in. It seems to me that this time is now. For the past year, her Facebook page has been on lockdown, but now, not-so-out-of-the-blue, she's slowly making things more public. Then, yesterday, she posted one of those viral inspirational quotes that, coming from her, sounds like a whole lot of hypocritical hype. She introduced the quote with this: Good one for today... and the (generic) quote itself read: If there's one thing I've learned in life, it's to fight. Fight for what's right, fight for what you believe in, what's important to you. But most importantly, fight for the ones you love and never forget to tell anyone how much they mean to you while they're still alive. My radar went way off with that one, and I immediately thought, "Who is she trying to impress with this?" and "Why is it a good one for today?" I knew something was coming. And sure enough, when DH got to work today after being out of the office for a couple of days, there was NMIL's "fight" for the "one she loves," packaged up real pretty-like and delivered by one of her faithful Flying Monkeys, Naunt. I don't have any doubts that NMIL is behind this bullshit (where's my stamp?) letter from Naunt, nor that she is out there maneuvering people in such a way that more will surely come. And tell me if I'm wrong, but doesn't the following phrase come off sounding kind of creepy: "...never forget to tell anyone how much they mean to you while they are still alive." So like, it's okay to stalk and harass someone for their entire life, even if that person doesn't want to fucking hear from you, because, you know, it's important to let them know that you love them oh-so much?
Then, today, NMIL posted another crapspirational quote with this lead in from her: This is from an email someone sent me this morning - very appropriate! This Betty Crocker altruism read: Happiness is always there within reach, no matter how long it lasts. Let’s enjoy life and don't live a complicated life. Life is too short. Work as if it was your first day. Forgive as soon as possible. Love without boundaries. Laugh without control and never stop smiling. Coming from a kind, compassionate person, this type of thing could be meaningful. Coming from NMIL? I have one word for it: BULLSHIT. This represents nothing more than NMIL's phony act of love, that she's hiding behind in lieu of actually doing one god damned thing to change ANYTHING about herself in order to have a real, meaningful relationship with her son and her son's family. The other glaring thing about this to me was that, upon first reading the quote, I thought it sounded awfully "canned," like NMIL had just taken it down off of her shelf of inspirational quotes, dusted it off, and put it on display as though it were a genuine thought and not a robotic euphamism that's been circling the internet. She makes it sound personal, since it "came from an email that someone sent her this morning" and all that. But in reality, the "someone" it came from was probably a spambot or some twelve year old girl in China who started a chain email three months ago because she's in love with the idea of meeting her prince charming someday. When I googled it, it turns out that its a very popular quote circling around the internet right now and it's origin is a sad story about a young woman who, five days before passing away from terminal cancer, made it through a long (but supposedly lovely) wedding ceremony to her long-time beau. Yeah. Leave it to a narcissist to turn a story about someone else's fairy tale love and tragic ending into a sentiment about her own pitiful life.
And now, the part you've all been waiting for: the letter. Did we open it? Did we throw it away? Well, considering that Naunt made sure to write in really dark ink and place the note "just so" in the envelope that one could read it without having to open it...no. We didn't open it. And we're not going to. But I will tell you what it said, because yes, when DH brought it home, I did hold it up to the light so I could see the writing better. The outside of the envelope was addressed to DH only, but the (BULLSHIT) letter inside was not. On the back of what was obviously a [BULLSHIT] invitation to her son's graduation party, Naunt wrote:
Hi [DH's childhood nickname] and Jonsi,
I hope you are all well and I think of you often. I hope you'll just think about it...
[Her son] is graduating from [technical school] as a mechanic.
What a pretty little [BULLSHIT] ditty, right? My favorite aspect of the whole thing has to be the fact that she sent the letter to DH's work, but addressed the letter to the both of us. Why? Because if the whole thing was really so "innocent" and if she really wanted Jonsi to know about it and it was really a genuine offer for the both of us to come to her little party and there were really no dark motives driving it, then she could have sent that damned letter to our house, addressed the way normal, loving aunts would address an invitation to their child's graduation party: to both of us. But, we all know that this little letter was not innocent, don't we my dear friends? And so, she sent it to DH at work because she was most likely hoping that, worst case scenario: DH would keep it a secret, middle case scenario: that he would respond in some way, and best case scenario: that he would actually show up. And just in case anyone asked her why she sent it to DH's work address instead of to our house, I can just hear her [BULLSHIT] response, "Well, if I sent it to their house, Jonsi would probably intercept it and destroy it." You know, because it's really JONSI who likes to keep secrets. It's really JONSI who is hellbent on destroying everyone's relationships. It's really JONSI who likes to make sure that certain parties remain out of the loop of communication.
I don't ever have to hear these bitches say this shit to know that's the way they think. Oh those narcissists, they sure do love to blame Jonsi for their nastiness.
My second favorite part of the the letter has to be the "I hope you'll just think about it" part (and don't forget the dot dot dots trailing off at the end.) Because what she's implying here is that DH never thinks about anything, that he's a callous dick who won't spend the time to think about her poor little family (who are all apparently so lost without him) and because she never actually defines what it is she wants him to be thinking about. Attending her son's graduation party? Coming back into the fold? The possibility of keeping this little letter a secret from his wife? The fact that she supposedly misses him and loves him so much? What? What, pray tell, is she so desperately hoping he'll think about?
Another thing about her little message is that it's the same exact message she's always sent to DH, almost word-for-word. She's not very creative, nor does she ever seem to change tactics. Before DH brought the letter home, we were brainstorming what it probably said, in case we decided not to read it, and these were the things we came up with:
-We all love you so much
-We don't understand what happened
-We miss you
-Your mother misses you
-We're so sad
-We know you don't want much to do with us, but [here's some shit we already know you don't want to hear about; and it's very clear that you don't want to hear about it because you've been slowly but surely blocking all methods of communication from us and have not inquired about any of these things yourself for well over a year now, not to mention the fact that the last time we heard from you was in a pretty point-blank letter stating that you no longer wanted us to contact you.]
Really, we didn't have to open the letter OR hold it up to the light because we already knew what that letter said: BULLSHIT. The envelope reeked of it when DH handed it to me. And reading through the envelope just proved that they continue to put in the most minimal effort possible, even in their manipulations of him. I mean, come on people, can't you hire someone to write a different script? Because hearing "I love you" and "I miss you" in almost every communication, and having that be just about the only words coming out of your mouths is getting really old.
Now, against the advice of some very wise people in our community (including the Great and Powerful Tundra Woman and Reverend Renee Pittelli) we have decided to send this bullshit right back to where it came from. And I'm sad to say that my BULLSHIT stamp has not yet arrived, because I was seriously considering stamping the outside of the envelope with it and THEN putting our "return to sender" sticker on it before sending it back to the fiery pits of Hell from whence it came. I do think it would be an interesting debate to hear from others about their opinions on whether doing a "return to sender" is a good idea or a bad idea, because it really is a decision I've been going back and forth on for some time now (well before DH got this letter). I've known this day would come sometime, just as I know there will be a day when they start calling DH at work as well. This shit's gonna happen, because NMIL and Co. have boundary crossing on their minds, pretty much 24/7. I understand that returning the letter (even unopened) is a response of sorts, and that there is a danger in that because ANY response is a good response in the book of a narcissist. But you know what? I hate remaining silent. And I DO want to send a message:
THIS IS BULLSHIT