Monday, August 27, 2012

A Couple Updates

I feel that, once again, I must apologize for my lack of posts, Dear Readers. It's not for lack of ideas on which to write, but for lack of time. DH and I have been incredibly busy working on our house. Among other things, we've been putting up walls, changing out windows, installing recessed lights in the ceilings, painting, and putting up moulding. I haven't even finished painting yet and I started another project last night that's been on my to-do list since we moved into this house three years ago - the stairs. Oh, the stairs. I'm thankful that they are, at least, sturdy and don't creak, but my-oh-my are they filthy and in need of some love. I have all sorts of patching to do, since at one point the previous owners had installed carpeting on them; the risers are in bad need of paint as, even after I cleaned them with an ammonia/water mixture, they STILL look dirty, and I've been scraping them with a tiny razor in an attempt to scrape off years and years of old, chipped paint. And when it's all done, and I've scraped, wiped, washed, and painted my heart out, I'm going to add the pièce de résistance: I'm going to stencil our names on the risers (DH's idea - I thought it was fantastic). Anyway, on the "home-front," that's what DH and I have been tirelessly working on for the past few weeks.

On the "narc-front" things have been spectacularly quiet. The last we heard from NMIL was on DH's birthday in June, in a ridiculously short and "sweet" email in which she wished that he would have a great day with his family!!!!!!!!!! Neither EFIL nor L contacted him for his birthday or anytime thereafter and DH and I have theorized that they may just be "done" with their attempts to capture his attention at this time. I figure, after their nasty slap on my birthday and EFIL's "You Ungrateful Little Shit" email to DH, they probably figure they got the last word in, so now they can go on about their merry business. It's rather like EFIL decided, "You can't fire me! I quit!" You know those Narcs - if all is going to turn to shit, they at least want it on their terms.

After we fiddled with his work email program for hours, DH and I finally figured out how to deal with any more incoming narc-emails: we've set all sorts of filters that will automatically filter their messages without DH ever having to do it AND simultaneously send an automated message to the senders informing them that their message has failed, permanently. It's just one more necessary step towards closing that door on them, so that they will be forced to either stop contacting us entirely, or find a different medium. And my thought is that, as their options get fewer and fewer, we'll hear from them less and less. And, not to worry my dear readers, I have thought this email blocking step out VERY far, and I am confident that they won't get around our precautions. What will happen, no matter what email address they use, is that their messages to DH will be captured by the email program, handled according to our wishes, and automatically replied to with a message saying that he has not received their communications. Once they get THAT message, they'll be left with very limited options for contact.

I'm hoping to get some more posts out in the next couple of days, or whenever I take a break from all those house projects.

Until then, I'm still reading blogs as often as I can and leaving messages whenever possible. Don't worry. I haven't gone anywhere!

10 comments:

  1. Hi Jonsi, it's always great to see you post. I know what you mean about house stuff taking over everything. The steps you've taken so that DH doesn't have to "screen" the Narc emails himself will help tremendously. If he doesn't see them come in, his subjectivity will become more and more his own. Good move, I'll be interested in seeing what they come up with next. I read some of your posts from last year, the letters and messages they sent. Don't you hate all the exclamation points?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    In general, the way Narcs write is transparently manipulative and annoying. Veering from hysterically upbeat to haranguing you for being an ingrate. These people. As Q would say, Jayyysus

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    1. It seems to me that the exclamation points are taking over the world. If narcs ruled the world, that's all there would be. Exclamation points. Everywhere. (Barf) I am interested to see what they come up with next, though I'm still fairly certain their attacks will be few and far between. We'll just see how they try to get around the "rules."

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  2. I love your perspective of "loving" the stairs, rather than having to clean up the mess. I also love the idea of stenciling your names! Pictures? :-)

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    1. I really do love everything about this house. Even the spots that are still dirty and chipped and in need of repair - it just means we get to do it and make it our own. The stairs are my new big project of the month. I can't wait to see what they look like when they're done. I was thinking about doing pictures. I should have taken a few pictures before I started, but maybe I'll just take some now, and when the project is done I'll post them here. :o)

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  3. I noticed the !!!!!!!!'s from an anonymous letter my borderline ex wife sent to me way back about torturing my mother with my letters to her.
    It ended with about 5 !!!!!'s.
    So that's what that's all about.
    Jaysus.
    Jonsi they have stuff that will dissolve old paint and varnish. But it will also take flesh off of bone.
    Maybe you are going natural.

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    1. Jay-sus! You know Q, have you ever seen the Farting Preacher videos on Youtube? DH and I actually went and looked for them the other day and I was in fits of hysterics. Something you posted recently (I forget what it was now) reminded me of the Farting Preacher. Lord Hallelujah Jaysus has saved me!

      (Now I'll go throw out the hundreds of letters people sent to me asking me to pray for them, while keeping the money they enclosed all for m'self.) Narcissists are all a bunch of Farting Preachers.

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  4. I love the idea of stenciled initials on the risers! One thing we've done with those high traffic zones is to paint the riser a dark shade in oil-based paint. It hides a lot of sins, including the inevitable toe scuffs.

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    1. Yes, it's a fun idea, isn't it? And it will feel so personalized in such an "impersonal" space. And great idea about using dark paint - my mom actually suggested the same thing. The white that is there now looks so gross after years of being scuffed up. I wish the previous owners had never painted them to begin with and left them natural, but we'll work with what we've got.

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    2. I love Vi's idea about painting the risers a dark shade. My stairs are super shabby. My house looks like Boo Radley's house (the scary one from To Kill a Mockingbird). Short of rebuilding the staircase (nope, no money no partner with carpentry skills) I think the painting idea will help tremendously. Thanks Vi.

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  5. Working on your home is so rewarding. It sounds like your loving will be incorporated into the house at every level. Sounds beautiful. Great move on the filtering idea.
    Hugs,
    Ruth

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