Sunday, July 29, 2012

Who Made Up These Rules, Anyway?

Found this on Rev. Renee Pitelli's Facebook page a couple weeks back and wanted to share it with you guys. She makes one hell of a good point:

Note to Ns - How come you're the only one who's allowed to talk about me to other people, but when you do something nasty to me, I'm not allowed to say anything to anyone? How come you can badmouth me, complain about me, gossip about me, tell everybody we know how terrible I am, stab me in the back, and make up complete lies, but I have to suffer in silence without being able to defend myself, tell my side of the story, or seek the comfort or advice of my own friends and relatives? Why is it only "wrong" when I do it, and not wrong when you do it? Here's a heads up~ the TRUTH is not "gossip" and "badmouthing." As long as I'm telling the truth, you have no reason to complain~ at least I'm not making up lies about you like you do about me. Why don't you tell the TRUTH when you're telling "your side of the story?" Because it will make you look like the lowlife you are? You are not the only one who needs to vent and blow off steam when you are "wronged," and you are not the only one who has the right to. I have no intention of keeping your abuse and your trouble~making a secret for you while you blab about me all over town. I'm telling my friends what happened between us, just like you're telling your friends~ or the ones you THINK are your friends. They will give me comfort, advice, ideas, opinions, validation, support, a shoulder to cry on, and a safe place to vent, and the side-effect of that is it will make them see you for the piece of garbage you are. That's what friends are for. Why should you be the only one to enjoy the support of other people?


  1. Enter the public "unveiling" of the Smear Campaign. (May it end them ALL.) Hey, I can always dream for a better, more rigorously honest world where the slimers and maligners are exposed for who and what they're about. And their "recipients" can live in peace, without being denigrated for walking away from their abusers.

  2. And when narcs find out that you happen to have friends, whom you can talk openly with, and who support you and comfort you and validate you, they usually start their devaluation process, hoping that as a result you will break contact with your friends, who are inappropriate / evil / malignant / want to destroy your sacred relationship with the N, etc.

    They seem to have a different meaning for the word 'truth'. It is their opinion, worldview, or anything they say.
    Objective reality does not count as 'truth' for them.

    Friends and their validation is the real help for surviving or escaping the relationship with narcs.