Saturday, June 30, 2012

Recipe For Success

Oh for the love. NSIL just tweeted the following: I will always be disappointed because I aim for perfection, which has already sparked one of her male "friends" to respond with: You are perfection. Just yesterday, one of her female "friends" wrote: NSIL, Sorry this is random but you're like the prettiest person ever!!!

Please, someone mail me a spoon with which to gag myself. If NSIL isn't just a mini-me version of her putrid narco mommy, then I don't know who would be. I wish people would stop falling for the narcissists' pity-party-look-at-me bullshit. It's all drama people! Put your brown noses away and run straight for the hills. You aren't any more special just 'cause you kissed the ass of a narcissist.

I mean, let's talk about this: I will always be disappointed because I aim for perfection. Well then. I guess you're in for a pretty miserable existence. But oh wait, here come the compliments, just rolling on in. Superficially, that will fill up your vapid little head just long enough to let you forget that your mother doesn't love you, your brother will likely never talk to you again because he's chosen to fight the dysfunction and you haven't, you have no real friends, you're empty inside, and the only way you will survive emotionally is to shuck your emotions forever. Well hey, that's a recipe for success right there!

Okay, now lets move on to the fact that all you do is talk in useless generalities, spouting off cliches on twitter about perfection and disappointment because you're so desperate for attention that you're going insane. Let's talk about how you spend your days mimicking your mother (yeah, now there's a success story) and relishing in your disappointment so that you can soak up all the narcissistic supply that comes your way after making such claims.

Let's talk about who's perfection your supposedly aiming for. And what the hell that even means, really. Perfection in what capacity? Oh yeah, you think "perfect" means "skinniest bitch with the longest hair, fakest tan, biggest tits, and emptiest eyes." Well. I hate to tell you honey, but you'll likely ALWAYS be competing with your mommy if that's what you think perfection is. It's a bit like you're chasing your own tail, or else you're chasing rainbows. You're not dealing in reality, if you know what I'm saying, and you likely never will. You're not, like, the prettiest person ever!!! cause like, your mommy wants to think she is and you'll never live up to her standards.

Why can't you understand that, you twit? You're just living your mother's fucked up vision for you: Like, Mommy will always be disappointed in you because she also aims for perfection and you ain't it.

Snookums, grow a pair. You've officially reached attention seeking whoredom in my estimation.

16 comments:

  1. I don't understand the appetites of narcissists. For example, I never ask "does this make me look fat?" because it's so loaded and none of the answers would ring true. So posting publicly how I'm do miserable because I expect perfection would only bring me trained responses, not soul nourishing support.

    My sister has a girlfriend that worships the ground my sister walks. I don't get what this girl gets out of basking in my sister's kind of miserable limelight. I want to pull this woman aside and say she detested a better friend than my sister. Ah well. It's her life to be leeched by the hungry PD'd.

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    1. "would only bring me trained responses, not soul nourishing support."

      Yes. That is a precise analysis.

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    2. It should read "deserves" not "detested" -- stupid auto correct. But sort of a funny replacement given the topic.

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  2. Ick. Almost can't get past your first paragraph. How sad that she feels she has to bait people for attention. I had almost held out hope that she wasn't so far gone...that maybe your husband and she could form a team and be a family (I always hoped for that.) But she seems REALLY FAR GONE. How old is she? 19? Maybe there is still time.

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    1. Unfortunately, I think she IS that far gone. She's going to be 18 in just a few days, actually, and my thought is that she's already so far gone that it would take a HUGE miracle, a crap-ton of hard work on her part, and an insane amount of luck to dig herself out of the hole she's in. And from what I can tell, she's got NO support to help her do that (and that is not a burden me or my husband are willing to take on, not that she'd welcome our help anyway).

      I think that's why I've changed my attitude towards her from "I feel for the little girl inside of her" (though I still do, that part is receding) to "Snookums, grow a pair." At this point, her lack of courage bothers me; and she just helps drive the point home to me that DH never had ANYBODY on his side. Ever. And I want THEM to take some god damned responsibility for that. But they never do. So he sits here and struggles without the help of ANYONE from his FOO, or from his past, period.

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  3. "spouting off cliches" - this is NM to a tee. She's always posting random "words of wisdom" or cliche crap about family, love, and loyalty. I think that's all narcissists are, one big cliche. One of those cheesy decor boards you see at the home store that spouts some wisdom that is supposed to make your life perfect. It's all about the words on the board, not actually living the words on the board.

    "attention seeking whoredom" - well, you've hit the nail on the head there. How does DH feel about his sister?

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    1. "How does DH feel about his sister?"

      A great question, Jessie. I've asked him many times in the past but I'm not sure he was being honest with himself when he answered. Your question comes with great timing and I will ask him if he'd be willing to do a post on that over at his blog.

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  4. Hey now! I have one foot in attention whoredom and the other on a banana peel. I hope I am not pathological about it.
    These guys ....
    Phew..!
    Jonsi, do you remember the comment I made long ago about some friend's of my first wife that would stop themselves from leaving a bar if they had not danced on the table?
    I mean a vacant empty bar. And how you would hear them later discussing their hi-jinks and how they brought the roof down. (dancing on the table). It was forced and methodical and pathetic.
    It's so pathetic it really merits no effort from you/us. Not enough to dilute you and your life obsessing about them.
    I know it's hard to stop. The people I speak of were just about total strangers to me so I wasn't invested in them like you are here.
    They're like a pop corn fart in the wind.
    They make their one cheek sneak of a noise and then they are over.

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    1. "Jonsi, do you remember the comment I made long ago about some friend's of my first wife that would stop themselves from leaving a bar if they had not danced on the table?"

      Yes, I do remember that comment. And I think you're right - that I am obsessing (I may even do a post on it's own about that) and like Mulderfan says, I'm giving them "space in my head." They won't truly be gone until I kick them out.

      It is almost addicting to read their shit, and part of me feels good writing about it because I feel like that's the best way to "beat" them, or to get retribution for some of the things they have done: by exposing them.

      But you're right. An obsession is never good and if it keeps up, it will just be a waste of my precious time. I think I will write a post on this. Thanks Q.

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    2. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle wrote about having a "lumber room" in your head where bits and pieces of trash are stored away. He suggested it's OK to take the bits out and examine them now again to see if any of them are useful.

      It's a kind of a good compromise for those of us that aren't ready to let go completely. I find I take my NFOO out less and less often. One day I'll bundle them in a big plastic bag and kick them to the curb.

      NSIL likely can't be saved at this point and belongs in your "lumber room" or, better yet, in the trash!

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  5. Just wait 'til the Evil Queen realizes that NSIL is striving to be "the fairest of them all". She'll kick her out and have her dragged into the woods to die.

    Come to think of it, that may be NSIL's only hope for discovering just how evil her Mommy Dearest really is!

    Starting at about age 13 my NM launched a campaign to convince me I was ugly and kept me home doing chores so I had no social life. Her plan was that I become, in her words, "an old maid" who never left home. I think the maid part was particularly telling!

    After seeing the pic of your NMIL dressed like a teenage hooker, I'm betting she's already in competition with her own off-spring and will turn on NSIL the moment she realizes that, given the age difference, she is bound to lose.

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  6. Just like NMIL, she's always gonna be "disappointed" (read, feel "Cheated") because it's all about EXTERNALS/"APPEARANCES". And I don't care how aspirational one is, there's always gonna be someone who's "Hotter," More "Affluent," "Cooler," More "Popular" etc. There's never gonna be "enough" to fill the emptiness, the void inside.
    NMIL is the walking, talking embodiment of what this reaps and it ain't "purty."
    TW

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  7. Far be it from me to preach about obsession. That's whats so cool about blogging. The safety valve of coming here and ranting the live long day gives us the latitude of not carrying too much anger into our daily lives.
    That's more what I think I meant to say.
    That's my story but I probably won't be sticking to it.
    My anger and frustration at PD's changes quicker than the weather.
    Ask me later and I'll suggest you throw lit fire crackers at them. It being so close to the fourth and all.

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    1. Q, you make me giggle. Still though, you made a valid point about the obsession thing. It's something I need to consider.

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    2. Please, do write a post on this. I've been there too. When my sister started going out with husband to be nr.2 and I started seeing signs of sociopathic traits, I would check his FB regularly, it did feel a bit obsessive. Almost like a detective desperate to find proof. I did find proof. Afterwards I didn't check it quite so regularly but it's like your brain just wants to be reassured that your gut feeling was right. I think part of it is that if you grew up without being validated you doubt yourself and need to keep checking that you're still right about them. Writing about it and comparing notes with people who understand helps to makes sense of it all. It's all part of the process of healing.

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  8. Oh hell, if the EPs are entitled to "obsess" about "Karma" and thinly veiled "Revenge" why can't we do the same "unveiled?" And call the "Next Generation" on their stuff when we see it? The future's so bleak in that family they may as well be living "Grey Gardens-The Early Years."
    TW

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