Monday, June 11, 2012

#lifeofabarbie

Ah, friends...Exhibit A gives new meaning to her over-used phrases: "Life of a Barbie" and "Princessprobz." I find it funny that she uses such phrases, because while she, no doubt thinks it's cute, I think it makes her sound like a classless, vapid bimbo. Which I already knew, but she's constantly going out of her way to solidify the image. Why would anyone ever want to refer to herself as a "Barbie?" or a "Princess?" Most likely because living the life of an anorexic, plastic, intellectually-challenged floozy actually sounds appealing to her. ((I'll spare you the pain of having to see all the pictures she tweets of herself. You'd likely need eye-bleach. For some reason, in the past month or so, she found it necessary to tweet large quantities of photos of herself.)) *Notes in italics from me. I know most of this stuff speaks for itself, so I'll just comment on a few of my favorites. 

March 10, 2012
Your outfit is causing my retinas an intense amount of pain & I plan on billing you. #princessprobz

March 10, 2012
Cannot get rid of this headache

March 10, 2012
Love that my nickname from the meat department is Babydoll. Haha

March 14, 2012
Apparently I'm intimidating to the guys I work with. HA.

March 15, 2012
This woman is a God awful mother...

March 15, 2012
So many morons out today.

March 16, 2012
Wrapped around my pinky finger.

March 16, 2012
@KB omg tomorrow lets get like, so sloshed. So wasted. We're gonna be in Ireland.

March 16, 2012
Obnoxious.

March 17, 2012
I love being drunk

March 17, 2012
Holy shit I'm drunk...

March 17, 2012
How am I still drunk?!

March 18, 2012

March 18, 2012
seriously how am I still drunk?

March 18, 2012
Laying the charm on extra today

March 19, 2012
((She baked cake pops for her famous loverboy and preceeded to post numerous pictures and tweets at him about them))

March 21, 2012
Some people are SUCH tools. Seriously, grow up. You're what, 23 years old?

March 21, 2012
You'll miss me when I'm gone.

March 21, 2012
I can't stand people who talk loudly on their phone. NO ONE CARES WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. [Can't help it, I just love this one, probably for obvious reasons.]

March 23, 2012
Well this sucks..

March 23, 2012
This blows..

March 23, 2012
I knew there had to be a reason for the crushing feeling in my chest.. #fuckyoustress

March 24, 2012
If karma doesn't hit you, bitch, I will.

March 24, 2012
Having people tell me on a daily basis that I'm pretty will never get old  #princessprobz

March 25, 2012
Super annoyed..

March 26, 2012
@KB but i want an SUV anyways, i can store more of my crap. plus, it's a good family car. (;

March 26, 2012
hahahaha i know. no babies for a while though. even though i want like, 7 of them. :D

March 28, 2012
Everything is making me angry today! ):<

March 29, 2012
This is now the 3rd day in a row that the guys who do the lawn have woken me up..

March 31, 2012
#ReasonsWeDontTalkAnymore you fucked up [As always, I wonder who she's talking about. I usually go immediately to the idea that she's talking about my husband, given her propensity for amazingly inaccurate and mentally-deranged drivel. But then I inevitably realize that creatures like her are delusional on ALL levels, in every relationship they have. In this tweet, she could be talking about anyone from the lady who painted her nails last week to the guy who dared to accidentally fart in the elevator, in her presence, on her way up to see the doctor for her apparently constant/chronic fatigue, headaches, backaches, diarrhea, acid reflux, arthritis, brain tumors, bronchitis, carpal tunnel, etc.]

March 31, 2012
Fuck you, I can't be the manager. I'M DOING A KICK ASS JOB RIGHT NOW. #bitchesgetstitches

April 2, 2012
So done with your shit! So done with YOU!

April 2, 2012
Oh, you think you're ugly? I believe you spelled attention seeking whore wrong.

April 6, 2012
It's fun when you cut a piece of your fingertip off at work.

April 7, 2012
All I have to say is that I can't see how I don't deserve to be manager. #fuckyaface

April 9, 2012
22 people in the wedding party. #whatup

April 9, 2012
Before you spread rumors about me, let me fill you in on what I heard about you. #lifeofaprincess

April 11, 2012
How the fuckkkk did I bruise the roof of my mouth?!

April 11, 2012
Don't actually answer that.. Pervs.

April 11, 2012
I remember my kindergarten tour, 18 years ago. Holy shit I feel old.

April 13, 2012
The pain is backkkk

April 13, 2012
Draaaaaaaaank

April 13, 2012
So many drunk bitches

April 15, 2012
In a shit mood. #thanks #whydoyouhateme

April 15, 2012
I thought friends were supposed to be there for you?

April 15, 2012
#bitchytweet

April 18, 2012
Had a feeling it was going to be one of those days... #really 

April 18, 2012
#fuming

April 18, 2012
#Capricorn can see through any fake persona people may try to put on...Rudeness really irritates a #Capricorn...#Capricorn's will only associate with people with decent manners. Disrespectful loudmouths will get no respect from us.

April 19, 2012
Someone bring me a shot. Or 10.

April 19, 2012
Just pulled something in my neck/back by picking up a 35lbs bucket of frosting. #notcool #ouch 

April 19, 2012
whores these days...

April 22, 2012
THAT BITCH REALLY JUST HIT MY CAR?!...hahaha she only rammed her door into me. Whatever she can SUCK ITTTTTT...crazy lady. Thinking she can get away with shit. I was sitting in my car when she did it!!

April 23, 2012
Pretty sure I'm dying.

April 27, 2012
Sick to my stomach..

April 27, 2012
Pulled a muscle in my chest. Oh god. (Ba! HAHAHAHAHA. Oh the drama!)

April 28, 2012
Cleaning from last night. I keep finding clusters of beer cans/bottles. How did we drink that much??

April 29, 2012
I ripped my mouth. #fuuuuuckkkk 

May 1, 2012
Love when people show their true colors..

May 2, 2012
Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy! But here's a condom, so fuck me safely.

May 2, 2012
Meanie head.

May 2, 2012
Some bitches forget you have to be a friend to keep a friend #getlostfakebitch 

May 2, 2012
#ConfessionNight my momma is my best friend. She will always be there for me.

May 4, 2012
SERIOUSLY????...I thought you were better than this..I need someone to vent to.. #ugh [The wording here reminds me of a blog post she wrote in 2009. "I thought you were better than this." My, she holds others to such "high standards." Makes me wonder, where do those "standards" go when she looks at herself?]

May 5, 2012
Come ON......I want to punch someoneee

May 10, 2012
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number. You better effin call me. #lifeofaprincess

May 12, 2012
Fuck those who fucked u over. We all deserve the best for us, and we will get it one day.

May 12, 2012
Congratulations to my beautiful chooch for graduating college & getting a job in her field! [Oh, I get it. Hint hint, nudge nudge, wink wink: her “chooch” got a "job" in her "field."]

May 14, 2012
Feel so sick.....

May 15, 2012
Acid reflux & car sick. #theworst

May 16, 2012
Totes instagramming old pics. #sorryimnotsorry [Like I said, I'll spare you the pain of having to see the 20 or so photos she posted of herself. You really don't need to see this girl in various states of undress, in her bikini, in her Hooters t-shirt, with a drink in her hand, or making a multitude of ridiculous pouty faces.]

May 18, 2012
The reason I swear so much is because fuck you. #HotGurlProblems

May 18, 2012
I almost just hit you. I almost just lost it and hit you.

May 19, 2012
Don't trust a ho, never trust a ho.

May 19, 2012
Ugh I'm like dyingggg

May 19, 2012
Congrats [Childhood friend]! #soproud

May 22, 2012
The Princess doesn't have time for your bullshit. #lifeofaprincess 

May 22, 2012
When a person appears in your dreams, it means that person misses you. [Oh for the love...she WOULD think this. Oh yeah, that's like, so totally true! All those people YOU are dreaming about are missing YOU.]

May 22, 2012
Being productive to me means tanning and doing my hair.

May 24, 2012
Some people were dropped as baby's. But "you" were thrown in the air, smacked by the ceiling fan, and tossed out of a window.

May 27, 2012
Just had a dream that @vapidfriend & I were strippers....

May 31, 2012
Someone get me panera nowwwwww

May 31, 2012
Reallyyy..?...Dirty bit...

June 3, 2012
Bottom line, I'm drunk as fuck.

June 4, 2012
Omg I'm pretty sure I just saw a dead body... #wtf

June 5, 2012
There is nothing a shopping trip can't fix. #LifeOfABarbie

June 9, 2012
Someone bring me a bloody Mary. #princessprobz

June 10, 2012
Love how like no one is taking my wedding seriously.

11 comments:

  1. This is just goddamn disturbing. I kept having to ask myself if this was the daughter or the mother. Either way, super distasteful, but just so much worse if it's an alleged adult. That is who you were copying tweets for, right? See, I'm still unsure. Especially because of the "wanting like 7 kids" bit. Isn't she too old? To gross? Too... agh, it's hard to believe someone could be that in love with themselves. Just YUCK.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Exhibit A is my favorite resident narcissist. She's actually one of DH's childhood "friends." She's achieved the "honor" of having her tweets posted here because I think she represents one of the best examples of narcissism to boot. She's pretty much classic! You've got your entitlement, self-absorption, superficiality, manipulation, and delusions-of-grandeur, all represented!

      I believe she is in her early twenties. She's the famous narcissist who spewed her hatred of DH and I on her blog. (see: http://jonsi-jonsi.blogspot.com/2011/04/dirty-deeds-done-dirt-cheap.html and http://jonsi-jonsi.blogspot.com/2011/05/all-aboard-gossip-train.html)

      Delete
    2. Oh, ok. Sorry I got mixed up. I guess my assumption was that there can't be this many people who tweet incessantly like this. But I know my assumption is the broken one. I try tweeting, but I bore myself. I keep hearing how it's something that must be done, but damn me if I get anything useful out of it. There's too much gibberish to actually get to real information. I feel the same about Facebook.

      This "friend" of yours is a Barbie alright. Plastic through and through.

      Delete
    3. Oh no need to apologize, Vicarious. I'm beginning to believe that once you've seen one narcissist, you've seen 'em all. They may not all say the same things aloud, but I'm pretty sure their thinkin 'em.

      Delete
  2. I now understand why tweeting is considered the tool of a narcissistic. Wow.

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    Replies
    1. Hmm..."a tool" is an interesting way to describe a narcissist's use of twitter. Thanks Ruth, I might use that somewhere!

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  3. The line from the song, "My Generation" applies: "Hope I die before I get old." I can not imagine having all the ahh..."Medical Probz" she appears to have at such a young age-she won't survive to 40 at this rate.
    Since she's in competition with that "OctoMom" mess, you know wanting like 7 kids, my bet is like, ONE will "kill her" via "acid reflux" like, OMG! She's like, gonna DYE! And the preggers thing, like, the SACRIFICES! Like you can't get, like seriously DRUNK! Bitches whre R U? My Momma sez U R totally NOT my friends! I thought U were like better than THIS! U R suppose to bring me like my BARF BUKET! @Bitches U R jealous! I am *NOT* fat! I only gained like *90* lbs. and *80* of them are like, in my CHEST! I M still, like, BEAUTIFUL!
    Is she really getting married? To the famous loverboy? Or is the prospective bridegroom some other clueless sap? This is a horrifying prospect considering she plans to go forth and reproduce. 22 people in her "Wedding Party?" I guess that includes the entire "Guest List." @Princessprobz: Hire like, ugly bitches and hot GUYZZZ for "Guests." U *deserve* the BEST!!!!
    Meanwhile, the rest of us will continue our mundane lives that do not include tanning and doing our hair as "productive" endeavors suitable for "announcing"/public consumption. Seriously.
    TW

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    Replies
    1. Ha! Makes for good cannon fodder though, doesn't she? :)

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  4. Stopped reading early on...revolting!

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