I've been thinking recently that there really is no such thing as a coincidence whenever you might find yourself treading in the realm of a narcissist. Chances are good that, if you find yourself wondering about the likelihood that a certain event or behavior is a coincidence, it's actually just a carefully laid plan in disguise. Your coincidental circumstance is their premeditated calculation. And, at the risk that this might sound like some crazy conspiracy theory, I kind of believe that literally ALL of their premeditated calculations are meant to culminate in some final Big Bang. It's as though, if you were to add up all of those bizarre little coincidences, you would end up with a picture of what the narcissist is really after: and the sum of all those seemingly insignificant parts has everything to do with power and control.
NMIL is not unlike a pedophile, in that she grooms her victims, starting at a young age if possible, until they are too afraid, naive, and dependent to escape her abuses. Her current victim and supplier of her biggest cash-out in NS is, of course, her mini-me daughter. I had this thought recently, while talking with a dear friend of mine, that coincidences are few and far between when it comes to narcissists, and then BAM! out jumped another one of those very coincidences I was referring to:
During my cyber-sleuthing, I found out where NSIL decided to go to college. And then I put two-and-two together and realized that she'll be attending her NM's alma mater. Then, I took that one step further and remembered what DH said about his own choice of where he'd attend college: he'd always felt that somehow, the choice of where he'd be going to school had been made for him. Granted, he didn't go to his NM's alma mater, but that's not really the creepy part in his story, the creepy part lies just in the fact that his mother somehow made that decision for him and then tricked him into believing, at least superficially, that he had made the decision himself. What does the fact that NSIL will be attending her NM's alma mater have to do with narcissism? In the big picture, I see it just being another grain of rice filling the jar - eventually, literally every bit of the NSIL-that-could-have-been will be replaced with NMIL, and there will be nothing left of NSIL to save. Her attending NMIL's alma mater is just one more of those coincidences-that-probably-isn't-a-coincidence that will culminate in the Big Bang that NMIL is hoping for: a truly dependent daughter who will never...ever...EVER leave her.
Creepy, isn't it?
What about you, Dear Readers. Can you recall any times when the "coincidences" with your narcs seemed way too contrived to be truly coincidental?