Sunday, April 22, 2012

If You Can't Beat 'Em

The following blog post is more an observation on narcissistic behaviors than it is a criticism of DH's FOO. It so happens to be an observation about members of his FOO, but that's really just because they make for a great case study.

I'll start off with a picture, and then go from there.

On January 28, 2012, at 1:38 PM, a girl we'll call Crabby posted the image shown above on her Facebarf page, with no caption or commentary. Thirty-eight people "liked" the photo, and she received fifty-nine comments on it, most of them within two hours of the photo being posted. Judging by many of those comments, it was pretty apparent that Facebarf was the means the parents-to-be had chosen for sharing this information with the world. Fine, that's their prerogative. I may not choose to share such personal information in that way, or with that many people, but that doesn't mean no one else has the right to do so.

Who is this girl, and why is this photo so intriguing to me?

Crabby is one of L's daughters from her first marriage; and the reasons why this photo is so intriguing to me are many: For one thing, I already think of Facebarf as the breeding grounds for narcissism - narcissists and budding-narcissists alike seem to flock to it in droves. Where else can they get that much narcissistic supply? I mean, fifty-nine comments from people offering their over-the-top congratulations? In under two hours? Boy, you can't beat that for the ever-needy-narcissist. Moreover, it would seem that the more "private" I would judge information to be, the more likely a narcissist is to share it with others - in particular, weddings and pregnancies tend to top the list of personal information that a narcissist always seems to want to share with others...lots of others. When I saw this photo on Crabby's page, I couldn't help but think that this was a pretty big indication that she's a little budding narcissist, and that she'll likely chronicle every little detail of the pregnancy...and birth...and life of the poor child in a very public way. This poor kid doesn't have a piss of a chance to ever keep his personal life on the down-low, 'cause Mama's gonna exploit him 'til he's dead.

I'm all for people sharing this kind of news with their closest friends and relatives. By all means, tell yo' Mama and Papa and sister and brother. Tell your three best friends and your cousins. Maybe even tell that neighbor who's Christmas party you go to every year. But really? Is it really necessary to tell your three hundred Facebarf friends, who will likely pass the information around like the peace-pipe at a tribal dance? That's kind of a rhetorical question, but here's my answer anyway: It's only necessary for a person to share the news of her pregnancy in this way if she's a narcissist. 'Cause no one else needs that kind of attention but the biggest attention-whore of all, the narc.

So aside from my obvious contention with Facebarf, why else does this particular picture pique my interest? Because I can just see EFIL and L sitting there, surrounded by all the grandchildren L's brainwashed kids will pop out for them, thinking that they've somehow one-upped us. Thinking that they've got THOSE grandchildren, so they don't "need" ours. Thinking that we're the bad guys for not caring enough to know about what's going on in their lives.

I know this: That L's other daughter, the one who's baby shower I was invited to but did not attend, had her baby sometime in October and that she got married this March. I know that Crabby is now pregnant and will be finding out the sex of her baby around May 4th. All of this information was made publicly available on Facebarf and was not shared with us directly by the people who would have, under different circumstances saw fit to include us in their special days. I'm also fairly certain that EFIL, L, and their kin don't know that we know, and that they probably think we don't care. But, more importantly, I know that when people don't have the knowledge or inner-strength required to break away from their dysfunctional roots...then they wind up like Crabby - who never seemed to put up any kind of fight against the narcissism and toxicity surrounding her. She must live by the philosophy, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." I doubt she even thinks she has anything to fight. She'll likely live her whole life exploiting others.

I feel bad for that little person that she'll bring into the world. I do believe that having a child is ALWAYS a reason to celebrate, no matter what the circumstances, and I do wish that little guy the best of luck. In the atmosphere he'll be living in, he's definitely gonna need it.


  1. The print is too small to read.
    Did she test positive for cocaine or meth?

    1. "Like"...sorry, couldn't resist!

    2. Ha! I should have seen that one coming. :o)

  2. I'm not a fan of facebarf either. I do have an account, but I don't post anything significant on it (when I bother at all). My brother is due to become a first time daddy any day now, and I expect this will be the only way I find out when it's happened. So I guess I am glad for that.

    I've always thought it weird for people who never spoke to me in high school who now want to friend me. I think you're right about the narcissist love for Facebook. My sister and her teen daughters have hundreds of "friends" and post stuff from lame to scary (13 year old doing sexy posturing in inappropriate ways?! Asking for trouble. But so much like my sister at that age.) and it seems it's more for the meaningless "likes" than for meaningful exchanges with people.

    1. Vicarious,

      I think it's really sad when that's the only way people communicate with each other. Facebarf is such a superficial means of communication, and I find it ridiculous that so many people use it as their MAIN form of communication.

  3. Class: None, obviously
    Genre: "Performance Art" aka: Bio-Hazard
    Title: "Ahh, Piss On It, Eh?"

    Summary: This Piece of Work demonstrates the Free-Form School of Narcissism with it's underlying themes of vanity and obnoxiously over the top of reason, taste, style, common sense and offensiveness. The 'artist,' Ms. Narc is currently working on inflicting yet another Free-Form work involving "Painting With Poop-MINE!" in an effort to expand her 'abilities' into Mixed-Media which will "involve the use of the olfactory senses. See, the purpose is to engage the viewer to understand their senses (and sensibilities) can fool the eye! MY shit does NOT stink because, well, it's MINE! Anyway, I just wanted to SHARE my accomplishment with this Piss-On-Plastic with the WORLD before I have it Bronzed for posterity. I am making a statement here: I am NOT just ANY knocked-up woman (despite obvious evidence to the contrary) nor will it EVER be found-as have millions of others just like it on a daily basis-in a landfill! I recycle!"

    Ms. Narc's "enlightened" perspective has so repulsed Gallery owners none have expressed any interest in showing her work. Not to be deterred, Ms. Narc stated, "Why should I pay a GALLERY to pimp my work when I can inflict on the entire cybersphere for FREE!" Despite her aggressive efforts to donate her current "artistic endeavor" to MOMA and every other Museum of Modern Art on planet Earth-"I'm a FIRM believer in philanthrophy-as long as it benefits MEEE!"-none have expressed interest: Their reputations are far too important. Ms. Narc's went down the toilet long ago.


  4. Hahaha! TW - Oh, I'm wiping the happy tears off my face right now. This is hysterical. You've summed it up so much better (and funnier) than I ever could have! I so wish you had a blog, but I'll sustain myself on your comments.

  5. "I know that when people don't have the knowledge or inner-strength required to break away from their dysfunctional roots...then they wind up like Crabby - who never seemed to put up any kind of fight against the narcissism and toxicity surrounding her. She must live by the philosophy, "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em." I doubt she even thinks she has anything to fight. She'll likely live her whole life exploiting others."

    Perfectly expressed. Spot on.

    This describes most of the people in my FOO! xxxxx