I'm proud of myself for making progress,
even if no one notices...
I wanted to share it with you, Dear Reader, because I think the message behind these words is a painful one and, given that SIL is a little budding narcissist (working diligently to follow in her NM's footsteps) it is also indicative of the dysfunction from which she came and can not seem to escape.
Perhaps there are people who would read this statement and be lulled by it's superficial glaze. I am not one of those people. To me, this statement screams sadness, loneliness, desperation, and self-loathing. It reveals deep and profound psychological wounds, and displays the value of SIL's self-worth. Despite the message she is trying desperately to convey, these are the words of a very emotionally-crippled individual.
This statement, to me, reads as a call for attention, rather than as evidence of true pride. Now first, we have to define our terms: I realize that there are two basic definitions of pride; one having a positive connotation (as in: an inwardly directed emotion of pleasure or satisfaction over something regarded as highly honorable or creditable to oneself; having or showing self-respect or self-esteem; a sense of personal worth; in this sense, it is the product of praise, independent self-reflection, or a fulfilled feeling of belonging), the other having a negative connotation (as in: an inflated sense of one's personal status or accomplishments, often used synonymously with hubris; self-important, disdainful, imperious, presumptuous, conceited). To be clear, the kind of pride I am referring to, and indeed the kind of pride that I think SIL is referring to, falls under the first category (of the positive connotation), rather than the second.
According to Wikipedia (bolding for emphasis, mine), "Philosophers and social psychologists have noted that pride is a complex secondary emotion which requires the development of a sense of self and the mastery of relevant conceptual distinctions (e.g., that pride is distinct from happiness and joy) through language-based interaction with others...In this sense, the opposite of pride is either humility or guilt; the latter in particular being a sense of one's own failure...When viewed as a virtue, pride in one's appearance and abilities is known as virtuous pride, greatness of soul or magnanimity." I find it intriguing that, in order for a person to feel true pride in oneself, she must first have a developed sense of self as well as the ability to feel humility or guilt over her failures.
These are prerequisites that no narcissist will ever be able to fulfill, resulting in the narcissist's version of pride, which is ALWAYS a false front designed to protect an undervalued self.
And in the case of SIL's declaration, that is precisely what we are witnessing here. First of all, to be using Twitter as her medium for display, SIL is countering her intended message with a more subtle one: that this is not a statement of pride, but a call for attention. I would say that, any time a person feels the need to publicize her pride, then her pride is more a false-front than it is a genuine feeling of deep self-respect. Pride, by definition, is an inwardly-directed emotion, not an outwardly-directed one. Under such a definition, SIL would never have felt the need to make such a statement.
Furthermore, when a person feels true pride, there is no further requirement on the part of others to either acknowledge or validate that feeling. In such a case, a person could make a statement: "I am proud" or "I am proud of my accomplishments" or "I am proud of so-an-so's accomplishments" without the added observation or commentary that "no one has noticed" said accomplishments. Instead of conveying a message of self-worth, SIL's tweet tells us that her pride is false, she longs for attention from those individuals she feels are not offering it to her, and that she has a sense of injured merit because of their ignorance.
In my opinion, her "tweet," which can be seen as the briefest of looks inside her damaged psyche, is a definitive indication of her own internal struggles and her lack of self-development. She doesn't have pride because she was never taught to develop it in a healthy way. Remembering that her NM also uses a display of pride as a means to put up a false front, it is not surprising that SIL has learned to do the same.
One final note: Like so many of NMIL's messages, SIL's trails off into a deep emotional void with the use of her ellipses...