The following is dialog from the movie "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" (1975) starring Jack Nicholson as R.P. McMurphy and Louise Fletcher as Nurse Ratched. For anyone who has never seen the film, I would highly recommend it, though not for the sake of "enjoyment" per se. Word to the wise, it's a difficult film to watch due to the intense subject matter, and I think it might be even more difficult for ACoNs. The following dialog is a conversation that takes place between McMurphy and the head doctor of the mental institution:
Dr. Spivey: Do you like it here?
McMurphy: Well...that fucking nurse man...
Dr. Spivey: What do you mean, sir?
McMurphy: She uh, she ain't honest.
Dr. Spivey: Now look, Miss Ratched's one of the finest nurses we've got in this institution.
McMurphy: Laughs. Well I don't wanna break up the meeting or nothing, but she's something of a cunt, aint she doc?
Dr. Spivey: How do you mean that?
McMurphy: She likes a rigged game, if you know what I mean.
Some background information on Nurse Ratched, for those who have not seen the movie or read the book (according to SparkNotes - I found their analysis of her character to be accurate):
Nurse Ratched - The head of the hospital ward. Nurse Ratched, the novel’s antagonist, is a middle-aged former army nurse. She rules her ward with an iron hand and masks her humanity and femininity behind a stiff, patronizing facade. She selects her staff for their submissiveness, and she weakens her patients through a psychologically manipulative program designed to destroy their self-esteem. Ratched’s emasculating, mechanical ways slowly drain all traces of humanity from her patients...She enters the novel, and the ward, “with a gust of cold.” Ratched has complete control over every aspect of the ward, as well as almost complete control over her own emotions. In the first few pages we see her show her “hideous self” to Bromden and the aides, only to regain her doll-like composure before any of the patients catch a glimpse. Her ability to present a false self suggests that the mechanistic and oppressive forces in society gain ascendance through the dishonesty of the powerful. Without being aware of the oppression, the quiet and docile slowly become weakened and gradually are subsumed...She is able to act like “an angel of mercy” while at the same time shaming the patients into submission; she knows their weak spots and exactly where to peck. The patients try to please her during the Group Meetings by airing their dirtiest, darkest secrets, and then they feel deeply ashamed for how she made them act, even though they have done nothing. She maintains her power by the strategic use of shame and guilt, as well as by a determination to “divide and conquer” her patients...McMurphy manages to ruffle Ratched...he is not taken in by her thin facade of compassion or her falsely therapeutic tactics.
Whether or not you have seen the movie or read the book, I believe that Nurse Ratched is the perfect representation of a Narcissistic mother, right down to her use of manipulation and shame/guilt tactics to control her "children." One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest also illustrates what ACoNs are up against when dealing with their attempts to prove that they have been abused. The abuses Nurse Ratched inflicts on her "children" are often so subtle, and her ability to deceive even the most intelligent of doctors she works with, is evidence of precisely what ACoN's and my fellow-Jonsies of the world find themselves up against. After watching the film recently (the last time I had seen it was several years ago) I was really struck by the precise poignancy of the short dialog I just shared with you. R.P. McMurphy gets it - he Sees exactly what Nurse Ratched is, even though she's got so many people fooled by her elaborate facade. And doesn't he sum it up well? "She's something of a cunt." And "She ain't honest." And "She likes a rigged game."
My advice? Keep fighting the good fight. There ain't gonna be no fucking lobotomies here.