the Truth is in the details
Thanks, jonsi! What a great article. I'll be posting the link at The Project this week. It ties in with what I'm working on right now. I'm creating a program to help improve my physical health, and this ties in beautifully with the mental/emotional.
I'm happy to re-post Dr. Martinez-Lewi. I find so many of her posts to be spot on, but this one in particular really spoke to me today. FYI - I left out the entire first paragraph which pertained directly to physical health. Sounds like that part might be pertinent for your research!Hugs,Jonsi
This reads like a checklist of the ways in which I've freed myself from my parents over the past five years! "They crave being a member of the inner circle even if they are infrequently thrown crumbs or are honored to kiss the ring of the anointed."This was very true of me before I extricated myself and is still true of my siblings. Getting over it is a little like being an addict - you're never truly all-the-way better. A glimpse of your old drug can bring new cravings. I saw some photos of a sibling/Nparent gathering last week and even though the rational part of me doesn't want to be part of it at all, the old inner-circle need is still there. I still feel left out, even though I've chosen to BE out! I don't want to kiss the ring, but I still sometimes miss the crumbs.
Claire - "Missing the crumbs" reminds me of DH. I remember always asking him why he was happy with the crumbs...why he was willing to settle with the least. He never really could come up with an answer as to why, but I think it has so much to do with that deep desire to be loved. What he didn't realize (until recently) is that the onus was on his NPs - THEY are incapable of loving, he is not incapable of being loved.I believe that you'll have to fight this battle for the rest of your life, but I also believe it is a battle from which you are coming out on top. You're doing okay, you're a strong person, and you're going to make it. You're worth so much more than the crumbs.
You are one of my people, Jonsi - I cherish you for being who you are, for seeing what you see. Thank you for your friendship and your commitment to a life in truth. I am so grateful to know you. xoxo upsi
And you are one of mine, Upsi. I feel stronger knowing we are connected.Hugs back,Jonsi