NMIL recently changed her profile picture on Facebook.
It's the same picture that her daughter has on HER profile for Facebook.
And it's a picture of her daughter.
Not her daughter and her.
Just her daughter.
Now I know that some people set their profile pictures to be pictures of their children, and quite frankly, that is a practice that I find to be pretty unsettling,in general. But, specifically, right now, it's just fucking creepy. Like, sending-chills-down-my-spine-nightmarish kind of creepy.
No, I mean, really. There is something so horrifyingly disturbing about googling NMIL's name and having a picture of her daughter pop up instead. I feel like I'm in an episode of the Twilight Zone.
It's not even a candid photo of NSIL. It's one that looks like it was taken by a professional photographer, and it looks as though NSIL was, quite literally, modeling, though I don't think that she's a model by profession. If I had to guess, NSIL either took advantage of the services of some family-friend who happens to be a professional photographer, or else NMIL paid someone a butt-load of money to take pictures of her daughter for the sake of presentation and for her own narcissistic self-preservation.
I've been waiting for the right time to tell you this, Dear Reader, and now seems as good a time as any:
NMIL and SIL have the same name.
No, not similar names.
It's the same name.
Like, if NMIL's name is Christy** then NSIL's name is Kristy**. See what I mean? It's the same name. And however much NMIL claims that she wanted to name her daughter "Kristy" because she always wanted a daughter that she could call "Kris" the fact of the matter is that she gave her daughter the same damned name.
NMIL mostly goes by a nickname that is a derivative of her birth-name, but it really doesn't matter. On her checks, she goes by her first name. You can google her full name and still find her public records. I first realized she and her daughter had the same name when we received her check for our wedding and I started laughing. I said to DH, "You've got to be shitting me. She named her daughter after herself?"
Sheesh, talk about starting off life with NO chance to be a separate individual from one's mother. We don't live in a society where it's considered normal, at all, to name a daughter after her mother, so that's not what's going on here.
No, what's going on here is that we have a full-fledged narcissist who is so methodical in her manipulations and well-thought out in her long-term schemes, that she has practically ensured that this girl has no chance of escaping the severe dysfunction she was born into.
And this whole, "I'm going to use this beeeeaaaauutifulllll picture of my daughter as a representation of myself on this public profile" thing is absolutely one-hundred percent connected, no further proof necessary.
It's completely mind-boggling to me...that anyone could get away with this. That others can be so easily fooled by it.
No doubt, NMIL's "friends" who see that picture will think, "Oh, how sweet, she loves her daughter sooooooooo muuuuuccchhh that she put up that beaaauuutttiful picture of her darrrlinnnnngg daughter! Oh, she's such a good mommy. She's so proud of her daughter." And that is precisely what she's hoping people will think. In some weird way that I have trouble wrapping my mind around entirely, she is exploiting this photograph of her daughter, as she has exploited her entire existence: She is using her daughter as a completely inaccurate representation of her Self. It's as though she wants people to see HER when they look at her daughter, and vice versa.
I've said it before, and I'll say it again: NSIS is NMIL. But now I'll add this: NSIS is NMIL with the power of YOUTH, which NMIL is rapidly losing her grasp on...And we all know how scary AGING is to a narcissist.
Holy hell if DH's poor sister hasn't been given the shittiest lot in life...to be unwittingly chained, since the dawning of her very existence to a monster like NMIL?
I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy.
**These are not NMIL and SIL's real names. I have chosen these names as a means to illustrate reality while still protecting their identities.