Thursday, November 3, 2011

#thatsvanity

Dear Readers are you quite ready for installment three of Exhibit A's twitter madness? (Click here for the first, and here for the second) FYI, I continue to read this stuff because it makes me laugh and because it provides me with an endless supply of examples of narcissism. So go ahead, have a laugh, and look to see if your friends and family exhibit any of these signs of narcissism themselves:

August 11, 2011
so about this headache... not cool, man.

August 12, 2011
I have this horrible pain in my side!! ): make it go awayyy

August 14, 2011
i should do this..."Ive replaced my desire to text 'Do you still hate me?' with 'stop being a shitty friend'. Progress.

August 15, 2011
@Vapidfriend what about @famousperson? #peopleiwouldbang

August 15, 2011
akjsdhasouch why are people so difficult!!! :(

August 16, 2011
omggggg baby fever.

August 17, 2011
If you dislike how I live my life, remove yourself from it or I'll do it for you.

August 18, 2011
I'm the prettiest girl here right now.

August 23, 2011
going on a "deleting a shit load of people on facebook" rampage. i have too many "friends"...

August 23, 2011
i've deleted 150 people, and i'm only on K... haha

August 23, 2011
crazy baby fever omgggg.

August 26, 2011
looking at houses in the hamptons. torturing myself.

August 30, 2011
i will literally do anything to meet @famousperson:) hahaha

August 31, 2011
my friend so-and-so is on T! True Long Island Story Episode ##!! she's the one Mr. Guy is talking to! haha :D

September 3, 2011
dirty bit.

September 5, 2011
everyone is having babies left and right! #jealous

September 7, 2011
just looked through old high school pictures.. man i was pretty! bahaha #imvainsometimes

September 7, 2011
My mom just compared my wedding to a Kardashian wedding. Yessss. Haha (: @KhloeKardashian @KimKardashian @KourtneyKardash

September 7, 2011
that moment when you realize you aren't friends anymore. & you don't even know when or how it happened =(

September 10, 2011
ugh, always feeling sick...

September 10, 2011
@vapidfriend i actually felt lost without tweeting. how sad. hahaha

September 11, 2011
i definitely have arthritis. #imold #butnotreallythatold

September 11, 2011
@vapidfriend2 I've had wrinkles since I was 17... I hear ya.

September 11, 2011
I don't want to be nice anymore. No one is nice to me...

September 12, 2011
reallyyy sick of people...

September 12, 2011
so many undeserving people out there...

September 14, 2011
i want a beautiful house in the hamptons #wishfulthinking #trufax

September 17, 2011
i'm the smartest raccoon i know.

September 19, 2011
My feet hurt so badddd :( I need a massage.

September 21, 2011
i feel like i'm dying. :( save meeeee.

September 21, 2011
@richstarlet happy birthdayyy!! hope it's as wonderful as you! :)

September 22, 2011
Supa sick but whatever.

September 22, 2011
Dealing with satan wasn't so bad today. But I still hate her.

September 23, 2011
Feeling worse than yesterday? Wtf.

September 23, 2011
Why must everything be ruined?

September 23, 2011
Its not fair

September 24, 2011
I don't know why I get my hopes up when all they do is get crushed.

September 24, 2011
so mad my face is red. just wait, bitch.

September 25, 2011
Dinner date with @KB @vapidfriend3 @vapidfriend4 NMIL and Toast!

September 26, 2011
I've had a fever for 3 days...

September 27, 2011
@vapidfriend1 who was bullying? i'll cut them!

September 28, 2011
Lucky me, I get to deal with satan today. #wishmeluck

September 28, 2011
There's always a reason why someone is not in your life anymore. Keep it that way. People never change!

September 29, 2011
Shopping in [richville], ya know, because I'm oh so rich. #superpoor #dontcare

September 30, 2011
ouch my feet :(

October 3, 2011
Lol loveee trashy peoplee! #not

October 4, 2011
I feel like I'd be a good therapist.

October 25, 2011
I really hate your boyfriend; he's an ignorant douche. Okay goodnight.

October 6, 2011
This whole pulled muscle in my chest situation sucks.... :(

October 8, 2011
ouchhh my back!

October 9, 2011
you are annoyingggg.

October 10, 2011
i hate ignorant people.

October 10, 2011
what are you, 22 years old? grow a pair.

October 10, 2011
@vapidfriend5 are we the only adults? like, really?

October 10, 2011
@vapidfriend5 yeahh. i hate people.

October 10, 2011
what a lowlife. seriously. #dickwad

October 12, 2011
Ouch my boo boo :(

October 16, 2011
i am so sickkkkk :(

October 16, 2011
i want a wittle baby :(

October 18, 2011
Omggg ouchhh :(

October 18, 2011
Some 16 year old bimbo almost rear ended me.. #dumbass #learntodrive

October 20, 2011
Dirty bit.

October 20, 2011
Happy birthday @famousperson (:

October 23, 2011
Rise Above Hate!!! ♥

October 24, 2011
vulgar girls, watch your mouth. there is nothing more classless than a girl who drops an f bomb every other word.

October 25, 2011
Fuck work.. ): [Okay, I have to comment here, Dear Readers. I've counted the number of times she used the "f" word on twitter in just the three days after she made the last comment...She dropped the f-bomb eight times.]

October 25, 2011
Got a new phone yesterday and my contacts did not switch over. I lost like 400 contacts... DM me your numberssss!

October 25, 2011
@friend oh and that's because all i do is tweet because i have ZERO life. :)

November 2, 2011
you are super annoyinggg.

8 comments:

  1. Lisa - I'm not even entirely sure? The world? Her hundreds pseudo-friends? Her self? All the people she thinks are listening but really aren't? Her invisible friend? Surely she's talking to some intended audience, and she thinks what she has to say is important enough for everyone else to care.

    It's also pretty funny when she makes comments like, "You are super annoying," not only because it's projection, but also because NO one would have any idea who or what she's talking about. It's kind of like trying to insult someone in a language they are unfamiliar with - is it really insulting if they have no clue what you are saying?

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  2. haha i know, exactly! "you are super annoying," "you are annoying", "just wait, bitch", "i hate your boy friend," "what are you, 22, grow a pair"....okay.
    the hell. this is literally brain vomit. i had difficulty reading this. i guess this is like the literal narrative that is going on in her head? ACKKK, get me out of there! it's like being stuck in the movie Clueless ACKKKKKKK! noooo!

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  3. Hahaha, Lisa now THAT's hysterical. And you can tell this girl is totally two-faced too. She only has the "guts" to voice her real opinions on twitter. She's probably finger-down-your-throat sweet to all these people she complains about or puts down. How funny.

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  4. "I feel like I'd be a good therapist."

    OMG! WTF? LOL!

    Given my stance on therapists, I would have to agree.

    Sarcasm at large.

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  5. Lisette - I know...given the absurdity of just about everything she says, the phrase you just mentioned really takes the cake. It's one of the many reasons why I laugh so much when I'm reading her crappy tweets. It's really comical!

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  6. I'm with Lisette on the T thing.

    Maybe this ridiculous twit should write some sort of "Self-Help" book......that way she can whine about how it "hurts" to be her.

    Told ya before, her orthopedist needs a consult-her knees are developing "wrinkles" and her implants are causing a strange form of scoliosis or early osteoporosis. "OMGGG!!!!! It's just so annoyingggggggggg!"

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  7. Anon - I had to come back to this - I just read your comment to my DH (and the previous comments on my other posts about Exhibit A tweets) and he laughed hysterically about your commentary. So spot on...and so comical.

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