Had a dream last night in which I got the mail one day and saw an envelope from NMIL. It was not sealed and the top was just flapping open. Instead of writing on the card inside, she wrote on the back of the envelope. She had written an entire paragraph in rather large handwriting but the only part I remember was a line that read, "For an early start in life." I remember being confused about who, precisely, she was sending a card to...one of my children? My husband? I wasn't sure. When I opened the card, there was a $200 gift card to Target and I just started laughing. I was like, "Really? An early start in life is $200 to Target?" Also inside the card was a stack of old photographs. Before I started flipping through them, I anticipated that they would be baby pictures of my husband, or pictures of his sister. But when I flipped through them, they were all pictures of strangers that neither of us knew. I kept going through them, trying to figure out why NMIL had sent them, but I just couldn't figure it out.
I think I had the dream because I've been wondering how NMIL and Co. are going to be handling the upcoming holidays. I'm already anticipating that we'll get nothing from NMIL. Actually, I'm betting that she'll send us some crappy card in the mail, with some sappy and superficial message inside like, "[DH's childhood nickname] and family, we miss you so so much and wish we could see you. It's so hard for us. We miss you and we love you." Blah blah blah. You know the drill. Our children never received any Christmas gifts from her last year, I doubt we'll be seeing anything for her this year. And for EFIL and L, I have no idea. A card with a $25 gift card maybe? I doubt they'll be spending their $600 on us this year, especially once they realize that not even the holidays could make us want to see them.
Onto other news: Last Friday morning, I got the strongest urge to change my husband's cell phone number. He and I had been discussing it for some time now, knowing that NMIL and EFIL still had access to it. I've been chalking up my urgent desire to change his cellphone number right now to some unusual sixth sense I must have. That morning, around 8:30 AM, I went online, wrote DH a quick email letting him know I was going to do it, and then I did.
As it turns out, I was one hour too late. Unbeknownst to me at that point, NMIL had called him and left a message on his voice mail that very morning. Her message was nonsense, of course, and DH only listened to thirty seconds of it before deleting it. She said, in her you-should-pity-me-because-I'm-suffering-so voice, "Hi [DH's childhood nickname]. I know I'm not supposed to call you and everything, but last night I had a bad dream about something bad happening to you and I wanted to call you and make sure you were all right." DH chuckled and deleted the message without listening to the rest of it. When he told me about it, the irony of the situation really struck me funny: If I had changed his number just one hour before, she would have gotten the following message when she tried to contact him with her more-than-likely fabricated story about having a bad dream: The number you dialed is not a working number. Please check the number and dial again.
Ha! Next time, Dear Reader, next time. I mean, we now know that this bitch thinks that a supposed bad dream (supposed because we can't assume that she was even telling the truth about having one) was a good enough excuse to break the No Contact rule and call him. We also know that she has directly broken the No Contact rule three times already (the first time with her emailed form letter to DH, the second time with her phony Hurricane Irene email to DH, and the phone call Friday morning), and it's only been roughly six months since DH sent the No Contact note. Therefore, we know she'll try it again.
Go ahead and try, bitch. You've already lost.