Dear Readers, I have shortened my last post down to these phrases, that I think sum up the whole thing rather nicely. This time, I've only taken comments from the estranged parents (and one from Dr. Coleman). In a nutshell, it's very telling.
I would believe that most of us who post on this board were good parents
I was not abusive
This site isn't for you or your parents
Your parents are who they are
I thought his rebellion and sullen character was due to...his conflicted feelings about his father
No one is perfect
maybe [the estranged parent is] not wholly at fault
I am not perfect
Parents can't be blamed for the total estrangement.
Many of us, including myself, in this forum did a great job of parenting.
it will be hard for him to live with the guilt of what he has chosen.
I don't think I will ever know what I did to them to have them both "abandon" me
As parents, most of us try to do the best we know how
I think they lose respect.
I...feel that there is lack of respect today
Self-inflicted blame, worry and devaluation is completely damaging and affects all aspects of my life
So settle in...give yourself a pat on the back
I didn't abuse her in any way, shape, form or fashion
I hate this young women [my estranged daughter] has become
I just want to work on whatever went wrong. But she refuses.
it is horrible to reject a parent, any parent in the world
she is going to be very sorry some day for treating you like this.
No matter what you do it doesn't seem to work.
I may have been wrong, who knows.
I made my mistakes and wasn't perfect
If I'm guilty of anything it is being too good to them
children today do not care about anyone but themselves.
All they care about is what they will inherit
We can't change the past.
We did what we did with what we knew at that time.
I don't deserve this!!
these girls of mine have been mean spirited, disrespectful, nasty and hateful towards me
THEY are responsible for this estrangement, not ME.
it's about time they grow up and act like adults and take responsibility for their issues
I wonder if they know we are right but are too proud to admit it
they need to "look in the mirror" and grow up and take responsibility.
they've decided that being a bully is better than being bullied.
I'm sick of feeling hurt, victimized, tormented, and tortured.
Do I want them back? (not sure anymore)
"let's beat mommy to the ground (emotionally)"
He is doing what He thinks is best for all concerned.
"judge not, lest ye be judged."
you do owe them common courtesy
How can you forgive those who have hurt you if you can't even forgive yourself.
take your dialogue back to your own blog or forum.
the purpose of other estranged adult children who are posting here is to reduce the pain of the parents on this forum
this was the forum for people to help each other heal
sometimes you have to apologize for something you did not do