Wednesday, August 10, 2011

#ridiculous

Dear Readers, are you ready for round two of Exhibit A's twitter madness? Going through her tweets every once in a while proves both useful and amusing to me, and fulfills two tasks: 1. Continuing to prove what a narcissistic, low-class, pathetic, and immature group NMIL tried to surround my DH with (and that she herself continues to be surrounded by) 2. Allowing me access to a study-sheet on how Narcissists think, since it provides me a play-by-play of one in the wild. Exhibit A is definitely one that needs to be tagged and studied from abroad, for we have much to learn from her! Essentially, we can break her thoughts down into a small spectrum of categories:

1. The "Ouch" category (in which the N pitifully exclaims that something hurts or she feels sick, in typical attention-seeking behavior)
2. The "Celebrity" category (in which the N attempts to hobnob with famous people so that she looks much more important than she really is)
3. The "Hate" category (in which the N projects her own hatred onto others, while simultaneously claiming to hate anyone who doesn't bow down to her)
4. The "Cryptic" category (in which the N makes obscure statements to draw attention to herself)
5. The "Immaturity" category (in which the N shows her mental age to be somewhere between three and five years old)
6. The "Selfish" category (in which the N makes proclamations about how important and all-deserving she is)
7. The "Hypocritical" category (in which the N feels that she should be allowed to pass judgements, have opinions, and entertain notions that no one else is allowed)
8. The "Drama-Queen" category (in which the N draws attention to herself and makes everything be about her)

You'll probably notice that most of these categories can be used interchangeably, and that they often over-lap in certain tweets. So, for your viewing pleasure, once again:

June 12, 2011
i don't believe in hate or anything.. but can i pay someone to kill this guy?! #notkidding

June 13, 2011
Why does it feel like everyone is ignoring me? Oh wait...

June 14, 2011
@FELLOWCELEBRITYSUCKUP hey, i did a cake for @famouspersonsfanclubwebsite 3rd birthday! could you [re-tweet]? (: [link to photo of the cake she made]

June 14, 2011
@famousperson I hope you like the cake I made for @famouspersonsfanclubwebsite!! (:

June 14, 2011
@famouspersonsfanclubwebsite aw thank you!! (: Will it be on the website?

June 14, 2011
@famouspersonsfanclubwebsite i hope @famousperson sees my cake!!!

June 14, 2011
thank you to everyone who enjoyed the cake! (:

June 14, 2011
@famousperson i'm glad you like the cake!! i worked hard on it! :)

June 14, 2011
[The following is entirely a re-tweet by Exhibit A] Extraordinary! [Picture of cake] This cake is seriously amazing! We have the best fans of the site, as well as @famousperson!

June 14, 2011
yup. that's my cake @famousperson retweeted. WHATUP! :D

June 14, 2011
tonight was a good night! @famousperson saw my cake, and i got so many compliments on it from everyone! thank you everyone!! it means a lot! :)

June 14, 2011
even though the roofers woke me up and an unreasonably hour on my day off, i'm still not in a bad mood! my cake has been seen! (:

June 15, 2011
[The following is entirely a re-tweet by Exhibit A] A HUGE thank you goes to @Exhibit A for this INCREDIBLE birthday cake. [yet another link to picture of cake]

June 15, 2011
a HUGE thank you to @famouspersonsfanclubwebsite for showing my cake!! :) www.famousperson'sofficialwebsite.com

June 16, 2011
omgosh! @famousperson liked my facebook page!!! [link to Exhibit A's facebook page]

June 16, 2011
i think i would melt if @famousperson followed me. ;D hahaha

June 16, 2011
no roofers, i'm not interested. i'm engaged and have a furry first born. #goaway

June 17, 2011
some weirdo got my screen name (who uses aim anymore..?) and was messaging me about porn. cool. i'm not joining your chat room, creep.

June 21, 2011
And the stressful wedding dreams begin!

June 22, 2011
i can't even do wedding things because i'm upset i'm not going to have the dj i want.. :(

June 22, 2011
happy birthday to someone.

June 23, 2011
I don't even like being around you anymore!!!

June 23, 2011
wowwwww close ya legs!

June 27, 2011
Happy birthday to the beautiful @Anotherfamousperson!! <33 

June 28, 2011 
I'm about to turn into a bridezilla. #iwantwhatiwant 

June 28, 2011 
Prove me wrong. 

June 28, 2011
Omg. I bought my wedding dress.
  
June 29, 2011
it's all so real now. i've tried dresses on a bunch of times, but when i put the veil on.. shit got real! #wedding #excited

June 30, 2011
This pain in my arm is so irritating! Why do you hurt? #ouch

July 2, 2011
Getting a massage after work, my back hurts so bad! ): #ouch

July 2, 2011
feel like i'm going to be sickk... :( why am i so nauseous?!

July 3, 2011
Awesome birthday cake I did :p [link to picture of cake]

July 4, 2011 
My feet/legs are killing me!!

July 4, 2011
@Twitterfriend 17 was my favorite age! Haha I sound old :p
July 5, 2011
it was my senior year of high school. everything was awesomee. haha :p

July 6, 2011
Knee hurts pretty bad tonight.. ): prob because I knelt on it. #oops

July 7, 2011
I'm suffering for something that happened 6 years ago & I have nothing to do with it....

July 8, 2011
i want a bacon and eggie sammich. bring me one, someone!

July 11, 2011
Really annoyed..

July 13, 2011
i'm feelin' like a star, you can't stop my shinee.

July 13, 2011
i want to live in the hamptons!

July 14, 2011
feeling super sick to my stomach.

July 14, 2011
freakin' headache. :(

July 14, 2011
i've had a headache all dayy. #goaway

July 15, 2011
i've had an ongoing headache for 3 days now...

July 15, 2011
This headache won't go away...geez :-/

July 16, 2011
@famousperson I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO BE IN TAMPA MORE THAN I DO NOW. jealous of your pool party. :p

July 16, 2011
@famousperson you should have a pool party at my house whaaaaat!

July 18, 2011
@famousperson love you!! xo (:

July 19, 2011
@K.B. anyone come to mind? [said after she re-tweeted] Whats the best way to get back @ your boyfriend make him raise a kid that isnt his

July 19, 2011
sore throat? in the summer? #ridiculous

July 21, 2011
Really kind of in the worst mood ever. #GOAWAY

July 21, 2011
what a hoe.

July 22, 2011
you are DEAD TO ME.

July 22, 2011
i need a drink... or five.

July 24, 2011
my feet hurttttttttt.

July 24, 2011
in a funky moooood...... #wtf

July 25, 2011
Today is not the day to annoy me in the slightest. #iwillcutyou

July 25, 2011
@famousperson better be on #LiveTVshow tonight! i need some cheering up...

@Holycrapwouldyoubelieveanotherfamousperson? lololololol what a douche that guy is! Saying crap to get attention.

July 25, 2011
I will own a yacht one day. #promise

July 25, 2011
I'm so freaking emotional tonight.. Ugh ):

July 25, 2011
uhm someone give my feet a massage, thanks.

July 25, 2011
okay goodnight. i swear, if anyone wakes me up, i'm cutting their head off. #kidding #orami

July 26, 2011
everything is all twisted..

July 27, 2011
i wish people would grow up. #toomuchtoask

July 27, 2011
Feel like I'm gonna be sickkk!! ):

July 27, 2011
Ouchh my back ):

July 27, 2011
Just noticed, I'm only wearing diamonds. #whatup

July 28, 2011
Srsly.....? #wtf

July 28, 2011
i feel like i have to send reminders to people that this is MY wedding and not theirs. #goodtimes #grr

July 30, 2011
Today is going to be rough... #getmethroughthis

July 30, 2011
feels like i'm dyinggg ugh.

July 31, 2011
@famousperson I got baby fever like crazyy!

August 1, 2011
I'm gonna be sick............

August 1, 2011
I don't even know what to do.

August 1, 2011
so done. goodbye.

August 1, 2011
last thing i'm going to say is I BETTER SEE @famousperson TONIGHT. seeing him on #liveTVshow would cheer me up.

August 1, 2011
actually, seeing @famousperson anywhere would cheer me up... #sadness

August 1, 2011
@famousperson IS ON YAYAYAYAYYYYY!!!! i'm so happy!!! :)

August 3, 2011
it's great knowing there are so many unreliable people in my life.

August 3, 2011
it #getsonmynerves when people judge you before they get to know who you really are

August 3, 2011
and i was proven right again. #unreliable

August 3, 2011
@twitterfriend oh i need it more than ever. i'm gonna punch a brick house right now.

August 3, 2011
cause when push comes to shove, you taste what you're made of..

August 3, 2011
glad i have @fiance @friend @K.B. @friend and @friend <333

August 3, 2011
I could use a cheerful message from @famousperson right about now.. ):

August 6, 2011
As soon as my mom's back from Maine, I'm in crazy wedding planning mode. Nothing will stand in my way. #bridezilla

August 6, 2011
And I mean nothing. I've had enough of people's shit. This is MY day...

August 6, 2011
trying to fix things... #wishmeluck

August 6, 2011
happy friendship day... although i think i lost a friend.. :(

August 6, 2011
aaaand sadness...

August 8, 2011
i'm nacho friend. i never was. #lol

August 9, 2011
Have to leave for work in 5 mins & I feel like I'm gonna toss my cookies...

August 9, 2011
out of nowhere... MASSIVE HEADACHE. :(

August 10, 2011
@famousperson Happy Birthday Famous Person! :) Have a fab day.♥

August 10, 2011
Well this is turning into a shit-tastic day!

5 comments:

  1. Hmmm, let's see..how about "vapid"?
    (Adjective: Offering nothing that is stimulating or challenging)

    Never used that word before but thought it might come in handy one day!

    ReplyDelete
  2. OKaaay.....maybe if she didn't spend so much time on her knees performing a certain sexual favor for famousperson her knee wouldn't hurt so much. "GONNA be a bridezilla?" I thought one had to be human to qualify.
    famousperson is likely my next-door neighbor here in the "HAAAAUmptons." And we can spot the hangers-on/"wanna-bes'/and new money a mile away. We should. We've been here before you were born or even had a clue about our private enclave. That's why we put our cottages up for sale-to get the hell away from the likes of you pretentious idiots and make good money off your stupidity regarding zip codes.

    sigh. Work it woman. Yes, you ARE "old." Might better consult a Plastic Surgeon now-why wait? I see the fine lines/wrinkles around your knees...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Mulderfan - GREAT adjective to describe this pathetic person.

    Anon - HYSTERICAL! I feel a little bad for laughing at your commentary because I realize we're laughing at this girl's expense. But really, you pretty much hit the nail on the head. That comment had me laughing out loud!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anon - Scratch that. I don't feel bad. You rock.

    ReplyDelete
  5. July 25 was my favorite.

    ....'What a douche that guy is!Saying crap to get attention........"

    I could sum that up in one word:

    *snort*

    ReplyDelete