Apparently it was Pig's birthday a couple of days ago. I made this realization when I glanced at his Farcebook page and saw the five thousand birthday wishes he received. Don't get me wrong, about four thousand ninety of them didn't hold any particular significance to me at all. But these messages to Pig did:
Naunt wrote: Happy Birthday, Pig. Hope all is well!
SIL wrote: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BIG BROTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NMIL wrote: LOVE LOVE LOVE HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY PPPPPIGGG!!!!!
DH's ex-girlfriend from college (whom NMIL friended on Facebook just a few weeks before our wedding) wrote: Happy bday buddy! Have a great one.
DH's ex-girlfriend from high school wrote: Happy Birthday Pig!
Exhibit A wrote: happy birthdayyy!! :)
K.B. wrote: happy birthdayyy!
A number of DH's childhood "friends" also expressed their birthday wishes. Pig was all over the attention, saying things like, "Overwhelmed by birthday wishes today, and it's only 8am! Feeling the love!" and "Just past noon, and they keep coming!! Thanks for all the birthday wishes people! Best gift today was Mrs. Pig cheering happy birthday for me haha" and finally, "Can't thank everyone enough for the well wishes on my birthday! Appreciate you all for thinking if me, or just checking your facebook status thing hahaha."
For me, this was all just one large barf-fest. But I mean, it's all pretty simple when you break it down: These people maintain their facade that they are all the "best of friends" by putting on this very public display of "affection" and "love" on Facebarf. As I've mentioned before, it's my feeling that none of these people have ever truly experienced relationships of depth, either with each other, or with other people in the world. For someone like K.B. who is a friend of a friend of a friend, to be wishing Pig a happy birthday is really and truly about as absurd as it gets. Add to that absurdity the comments by NMIL and SIL, and you get one big asshat-sandwich.
I am perturbed, as usual, by NMIL's over-the-top proclamations of LOVE! for someone who is not her son, in the face of having lost her own. The really funny thing is that I doubt there is much depth behind her proclamations beyond the Facebook world. She's trying to make it look like there is, but I'd bet my bottom dollar that that is about as far as their relationship goes. And ooh boy, does NMIL have her favorite puppet well trained. SIL is even following in her NM's footsteps with the over-the-top statements about her relationship with Pig. When you have to shout, at the top of your lungs, that this person is your "big brother" it only makes it more obvious that even you know it's all an elaborate facade.
DH and I had a talk yesterday about the fact that no one from his past life ever understood what it meant to have healthy loyalties. For example, in a healthy world, no mother would friend (either in real life or online) her son's ex-girlfriend, particularly when her son no longer had a relationship with that person. Also, no true friend would continue to socialize with his friend's abusive parent, even if the friendship had long-since ended. No one with any real loyalties would do these things.
And the truly unfair thing is that all these people were once allowed to be disloyal to DH...and he wasn't allowed to be "disloyal" to them. In my opinion, that's a huge red flag, and a really good reason to get the fuck out of Dodge.