I was just going through some old emails between my DH and NMIL and I made a realization about one of them. I wrote about it in this post, but I wanted to share my newer insight about it:
Fri, Aug 28, 2009
The gift I have for you and Jonsi is in a HUGE box – do you want me to keep it till [sic] end of October till [sic] right before Baby is born? You don’t have any room for it really yet...it’s up to you honey!!!
Sat, Aug 29, 2009
What? No, of course not, it's a baby shower present, it [sic] supposed to be given at the shower. We'll figure out something to do with it...Thanks though!
See you soon!
I don't know why I missed this the first time, but I just realized that NMIL wasn't trying to get DH to take the gift early, she was trying to get him to take it later, as in after our baby shower. The reason why I find this strange (and utterly manipulative) is because I have a feeling that, had DH agreed to her strange proposal, NMIL would have done the following:
I think she would have shown up to our baby shower, either empty handed (with the proclamation that we'd be getting her gift "later") or with some small crappy gift. Then, when everyone saw that we had already gotten the same huge gift that she had gotten us, she could have returned it, making the claim that she'd give us the money for the gift or buy us something else. Now, it's just purely speculation on my part, but I think this would have all been a big ruse. Had DH agreed to her plan, I think she would have returned the thing she had bought (since after the shower, she could claim "surprise" that someone had already purchased the same gift) and never given us a damn thing. I think she'd play the, "well now we can all just forget about it" game, and expect that no one would have the balls to say, "Hey, where the fuck is that present you promised us?" Because, as wrong as it is to promise someone a gift and then turn around and take it back, it also seems wrong for the gift-receiver to say, "Give me a present!" I think, in her far-reaching games of manipulation, she was hoping that would be the outcome because she was banking on the fact that no one was going to call her out on it.
I would have. But thankfully, it didn't get to that point.
DH's response was actually quite telling - although I don't think he necessarily saw the attempted manipulation going on, he knew enough to know that something wasn't quite right about her plan for us to wait to get our gift until right before the baby was born. He expressed his thoughts about how absurd her offer was quite well, I thought. Furthermore, who the fuck was she to know how much room we'd have to store things where we lived? I ended up storing it in the trunk of my car.
And, for the record - I was able to return NMIL's gift from the baby shower and get full price for it, even though she never produced the receipt for it (like she said she would). I used the packing slip that she had never removed from the outside of the box, which also happened to prove that she had bought the gift weeks after the first one had been purchased off the registry. Had I been forced to return my mother's gift, we wouldn't have gotten the full price of it back, since my mother had gotten a special deal on it.
Overall, I suppose the worst thing about it is my thought that NMIL was trying to trick us into losing out completely. It was always obvious to me that she was trying to save face by not having to show up to the baby shower with a duplicate gift. But it only just dawned on me how FAR she was willing to take things. Seriously, bitch? It was a fucking BABY shower, for your SON, and your first GRANDCHILD. Go play your manipulative games on people who are stupid enough to fall for that shit.
If I could say one thing to NMIL, I would say this, "Ha ha ha. We won."
Boy, wouldn't that burn her biscuits, since that's what it's ALL about for her.
**Addendum: A note to NMIL:
Honey, don't mess with people who can smell your shit coming from miles away. At my shower, I purposely opened your "big gift" AFTER I opened the one from my mom. I did this on purpose. We all know that when opening gifts, the second one opened ALWAYS looks like the duplicate. Furthermore, NO ONE in my family was fooled by your nonsense. One of my cousins loudly proclaimed, "That was the first thing off the registry" when I opened your gift. We ALL know what you are. We ALL know the games you've played. You've not fooled any of us.
I have always known what you are.