DH received an email from Double Agent this morning:
From: Double Agent
To: Dear Husband
Sent: July 20, 2011 @ 9:30 AM
Subject: Re: Re:
Since you haven't gotten back to me I simply sent your mom a short message saying that you asked me not to contact her, that I was going to respect that wish and that you and your family are all safe and healthy to the best of my knowledge.
Nice try, DA, but we're not biting. We know that you're trying to make it look like you're respecting DH's wishes. We also know that you have failed in your attempt to trick us, as you have succeeded in your show of disrespect.
DH was very clear in what he wanted from you. He said, several times, that any contact you had with NMIL made him uncomfortable. He expressed his opinion that your loyalties, as his friend, and not his mother's, should lie with him. He asked you, point blank, to stop communicating with his mother.
It shows disloyalty to my husband to explain to NMIL that DH asked you not to speak with her. It shows disloyalty to my husband to go against his wishes and speak with NMIL about us at all, even to offer her your superficial and unenlightened conjecture about our well-being. It shows disloyalty to my husband to continue communicating with NMIL under the guise of being "respectful" after he has explicitly asked you to stop.
We know where your loyalties lie. We also know that you are too ignorant and pompous to escape the mental and emotional spell that has been caste over you by one very evil woman. We know that you don't care to see that NMIL is using you and has no real interest in your well-being.
So go, have your twice-a-year email exchanges with NMIL and have a blast at her Christmas parties for the next couple years. That is, until she tires of you and realizes you are of no further use to her. It's obvious you care more about offering her your "common decency" than you do holding on to my husband who's friendship you claim is "so important". Good luck with NMIL. Yeah dude, good luck with that.
**Update: Here's what DH has to say about the email from his old-pal. I liked his point about how the conversations they had with each other should have remained between them. DH writes, "[He] expressed to my mother some pieces of a conversation he and I had about her - which I expected to stay between he and I." Right on. DH and I share the same sentiment on precisely why telling NMIL about DH's request that he not contact her was wrong.