On April 9, 2011, NMIL friended DH's college ex-girlfriend on Facebook. We saw purely evil intentions and dark motives.
When our one-year wedding anniversary came around later that month, everyone from DH's FOO ignored it. We saw a group of people who would have been happy if DH and I had never gotten married. We saw anger, hatred, and a pathetic fight-to-be-right. We saw people who were more invested in their deeply-entrenched dysfunctions, than people who wanted DH to be happy. We saw them hunkering down in their familiar roles, and a flat-out refusal to take responsibility for anything that had happened.
We added those things to the "list" of their offenses and made our final decision: To go No Contact with NMIL and her entire side of the family.
Making the discovery that NMIL wasn't going to change was no walk-in-the-park for my husband. It was painful. It was ugly. It was terribly sad.
It was also necessary.
Let me just say that I am PROUD of my husband for who he is and for what he has done. It has not been easy to shake the lies that his parents clothed him in his whole life. It has not been pleasant for him to move from a place of denial to a place of reality. My heart aches for the little boy inside of him that just wanted to be loved and couldn't get it from the people who should have offered it freely. But I am so happy that he has chosen a healthier path for himself, and for us, as a new family.
DH had to make some sad realizations. He realized that NMIL was not someone who was ever going to change. She had shown her true colors from day one. Her cruelties were endless, her disrespect blatant. In April of 2011, DH decided enough was enough. He decided we were not going to sacrifice our mental, physical, or emotional health in order to have a relationship with her.
He decided it was over.
Game Over, NMIL.