Thursday, May 26, 2011

NMIL and Piggity-Pig, Sittin' in a Tree

A little bit of Farcebook nonsense for you, Dear Reader.

But first, I will preface with some important information. By November of 2010, Pig and DH were no longer friends. The last they spoke had been for a few brief moments at our wedding, which PIG and wife attended, most likely, out of obligation. Prior to that, DH had spoken with Pig twice, over the phone, in an attempt to explain to him that in order for their friendship to continue, they both had to grow at the same pace and in the same direction. Alas, though Pig assured DH that he wanted to grow out of his immature and piggish behaviors, it turns out that he was just talking out his ass. After those two phone calls, both of which were initiated by DH, and his attendance at our wedding, DH never heard from Pig again.

I say "Good riddance to bad rubbish." He was one dirty piece of garbage.

But apparently, NMIL doesn't think so.

They are friends on Facebook, Dear Reader.

And maybe even in real life. Well, as much as either of them has the capacity to be "real" anyway.

That's right, even though DH is no longer friends with Pig, because of the way Pig treated him and me, NMIL has decided to remain loyal to her son's ex-friend. Her friendship with him on Facebarf is a public way of showing the world who she REALLY wants as a son.

On NMIL's birthday in November, Pig wished his "mom" his very public birthday well-wishes, saying, "Happy birthday, Mom!"

NMIL responded, "Thank you honeypiecake!!!! Did you get my email? We are having our holiday bash Saturday December 11th at the new crib! I hope you and [wife] can come!!! Miss you guys tons - Love, Mom p.s. [SIL] has her license!"

Honeypiecake? BARF.

And, just so you know, Dear Reader, the invitation she is referring to was sent SEPARATELY from the one she emailed to us. Mull that one over for a moment, and you'll probably see what was actually going on.**She didn't want us to know that she was inviting Pig and his wife. She wanted to keep from DH that his ex-best friend would be attending her Christmas party because she KNEW they were no longer friends. Rather than be up front with DH and inform him that Pig was invited...better yet, rather than ASK DH if she could invite Pig...BETTER STILL, rather than wait for DH to announce his attendance and respectfully wait for him to request the presence of his friends, she went ahead and invited Pig behind DH's back. So, what might have happened, Dear Reader, if DH and I had shown up without realizing that Pig would be there? How awkward and uncomfortable was she hoping it would have been for DH? How awkward might it have been for me, knowing that Pig and NMIL had been in cahoots, and had probably been gossiping about me for months, and they surprised us with their presence? Like: Surprise! Look who's here, DH and Jonsi! The dude DH used to be friends with, before he made it known that he didn't approve of DH's life choices and wanted things to go back to the way they were BEFORE Jonsi. The dude who ended his relationship with DH and never spoke with him again, after DH told him they had to grow up. The dude who made derogatory comments about Jonsi. The dude who calls NMIL, "mom" and, more-than-likely speaks with her privately about DH and his life. Surprise!

Sneaky, sneaky, Mommy Dearest.

And when the day was over? She made sure to change her status update to something like this: "Thank you everyone! Oh, I'm sooooooooooooooo lucky! I got so many cards and sooooooooo many presents and ate so much cake! How luckyyyyy am I?"

Double barf with a cherry on top.


  1. My NM still corresponds with an only boyfriend I haven't associated with in years. It hurt, at first, that she didn't respect me, but not any more.

  2. NMIL does that too.

    She just recently friended DH's college ex on Facebook.


    It's a SERIOUS and heinous offense, for sure. You're right, Judy - total lack of respect.

  3. wait i dont get it. what's going on with the emails? i never understand things like this! is there something i'm missing?

  4. Weird me! When my DD ends a relationship and is not longer in touch with the ex neither am I!

  5. **I explained a bit more for Lisa. I can see why you didn't understand the email bit, as it was before. I didn't explain as in depth as I could have. I hope the addition helps clarify!

    Mulderfan - Several people have concluded that their Narc parents have continued relationships with people that they, themselves are no longer friends with. It's bizarre and very intrusive.
    I'm glad to hear that you respect your DD enough not to do that to her. I'm not surprised by that though. :)

  6. oh okay. thanks for spelling it out for me. that's what i thought. sometimes i just get panicky when i'm not sure i know what's going on or what someone is implying...even if i do understand. i just have low confidence. i get it now.
    i guess thats a byproduct of parents undercutting you no matter what you do or how smart you are...random inconfidence. you're never 'getting it' enough.
    so okay. your nmil's a crazy divisive bastard whose every tiny action is dictated by stupidity. and who also happens to adopt every single young person she can get her hands on. what's new. you know the way this story's been building up... i hope you've been secretly saving some kind of crazy ending. "AND THEN IN MAY OF 2011 THEY ALL BLEW UP! AND THAT IS THE STORY, KIDS, OF HOW WE ALL CAME TO BE ON THIS SUNNY BEACH IN THE BAHAMAS, THROWING A PARTY. HURRAH!"

    this post makes me want some cake!

  7. Lisa, actually I could understand why readers might need some clarification on that part. And I really appreciate when people critique my writing. If someone isn't getting it, it's because the writing wasn't good enough and needs to be changed.

    And the second half of your comment made me laugh out loud. You are really funny!


  8. Actually, this kind of behavior doesn't surprise me at all.I've experienced it , as well as witnessing it.

    If someone is malignantly narcissistic, they will intentionally befriend someone you've fallen out with, just to get a jab in.

    Plus--there's the added benefit of having that person to milk for any extra info/ammunition to use against you.

    It totally reeks of, "I'll show YOU". So THERE!!

    It's so dismaying to see adults resorting to these junior high tactics.

    1. Isn't it though? It's gross. Makes me want to go take a shower. Or get some eye-bleach after seeing it. Ick.