Thursday, May 26, 2011

Don't Hold Your Breath

The sister is not "like" the mother.
The sister is the mother.

"What the fuck does his sister have to do with it?" You ask.
But you know. You know.
The sister is another pawn.
A powerful one.
An extension of the Mother.
Her right hand.


The mother will know through the knowing of the sister.
She will see through the eyes of the sister.
She will speak through the mouth of the sister.

DH can not have the mother as she is,
So he tried to get her through the sister.
The sister was as close as he could get.

The sister is so much more than just a victim or a blind follower.
She is the means to one very powerful TKO.

A distilled kind of narcissist

She stands even less of a chance of breaking free.

The sister is eerily empty.

You can see it in her eyes.
She's not even adept at hiding it
like the mother.
She's the kind of person who makes the hair
on the back of your neck stand on end.
The perfect robot, a valuable extension, the N's dream.

I remember once, when they came to visit.
The mother and the sister.
The sister just stood and stared. Empty. No one home.
And the mother directed her..."Say hello."
The puppeteer's hand was moving expertly.
The sister said "hello" in my general direction.
And the mother said, "Now smile."
It gave me the chills.

The sister is the eyes and ears of the Beast.

DH can not be his sister's friend,
unless she comes out from under the mother's thumb.
The mother will never allow for them to have a relationship
outside of her, one that strays from her requirements.

Together, they are one.
One robot. One mind. One soul-less being.
Incapable of genuine emotion.
They only know that tears invoke
pity and sadness and guilt in others.

The mother knew that the sister
once worked as a tactic
of control.

She tried to enforcing the belief that to be a "good" brother
to be a "good" son, he had to do what she wanted.

So don't hold your breath, Dear Reader,
that the Sister will ever be any different.


  1. How very sad for her. And sad for DH.

  2. If the sister is like my GC younger brother, she will surpass her teacher and be worse!

  3. uhhhhhhhhhh....i feel like i just dodged getting hit by a truck. to think that that could have been me! makes me feel, how can that happen to a person?
    NMIL wasn't physically abusive was she? she did all that, without even laying a hand?
    i dont even want to THINK about whats going on in the girl's mind. gives me the creeps. your NMIL is full blown crazy. FULL BLOWN CRAZY.

  4. Judy - It is, indeed, sad all around.

    Mulderfan - I wouldn't be surprised. But then, we won't have anything to do with SIL if she continues to act the way she does.

    Lisa - I don't know that NMIL was physically abusive...but sometimes I think emotional abuse is so much worse! It's so hard for people on the outside to see it, and the bruises never really go away. I imagine one reason why SIL is so empty/blank, is because it would be impossible to accept everything that is going on in her life. It's all too dark. She has to shut down in order to survive.

  5. I know how it is done. I have done it. It is sad. It is scary. I am thankful to my sister waiting for me to wake-up. No easy answer because siblings can be like mulderfan's and become worse than the parents. Or like me and eventually wake-up. Either way is a waiting game to see what happens.
    I agree with you Jonsi. Emotional abuse is in some ways worse since many times it is minimized as being "not that bad." Yes this type of dissociation can be done without physical abuse but often the two work together.

  6. This is so very sad....this post and the last one. I don't know if I would've believed it was possible for a mother to be so heartless and evil to her children unless I had seen it with my own eyes. I've seen it in DH's dysfunctional family. NMIL has controlled the communication between her sons (and EFIL) for so long, I honestly doubt they can remember a time it wasn't that way. With the description of NM as the spider in her web monitoring her family to know how best to control them, I keep thinking of that Tim Burton movie Coraline. At the end the other mother's house turns into a spider web and she is the giant spider chasing Coraline as she desperately tries to get away. Your NMIL is just like Coraline's other mother.