Saturday, May 21, 2011

All Aboard the Gossip Train

A few days after SIL's birthday planning nonsense, Exhibit A took to her blog once more. This is what she had to say:

June 24, 2010

1) i got engaged :D 2) my best friend, or who i thought was my best friend, turns out is the BIGGEST ASSHOLE IN THE WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD. i tried making excuses for you for months. i honestly didn't think you would act this way or treat other people the way i heard you did. i hope you see i'm writing this, even though i know you won't. you do NOT treat family like shit. it's just down right shitty of you. i don't understand what i did to deserve how you treated me, but your family? really? i honestly can't even describe the hatred i have for her. what she turned you into.. i can't believe you would let someone take over your life like this. & maybe i'll regret saying all of this later on, but right now, this is exactly how i feel plus more. i just can't seem to word it right because i'm just in shock.. wow. i really thought you were better than that.

My best guess is that Exhibit A had founded her off-base, shit-lined claims on the gossip that was flying around. A more mature, well-informed individual would have stopped when she got to the phrase, "the way I heard you did" and re-evaluated her sense of entitlement and self-righteousness. She is entitled to her opinions, I'm not denying that. But the fact that being so far removed from the situation didn't sway her from trying to get involved in it is very indicative of her lack of intelligence, maturity, and basic social graces. The phrase, "I heard" is an immediate indication that this girl doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about. She knew nothing except third or fourth-hand information about the goings-on in her "best friend's" life. Yet, her delusions of grandeur remained substantial enough that several months later (around February of 2011), she would make comments on her twitter page, the likes of which are absurd: In response to SIL's sarcastic commentary (I miss my brother. Wait, what brother?) Exhibit A wrote, "I miss him too! When was the last time you talked to him?" Over a year after she wrote about the (all caps!) biggest asshole in the entire world, she was commiserating with SIL about how much she "missed" him. Which is it, sweetheart, asshole, or friend? And if you were suddenly changing your mind from Point A to Point B, what the hell happened in your lunatic mind to get you there?

Honestly, folks, the last time DH talked to this bimbo was November 6, 2009. That was a short email in which he asked her to remove the photo he posted of our DD from her Facebook page. Prior to that, she had emailed DH the day after our DD was born, to say this: Heyy [SIL's name] told me the good news! Congrats to you and [Jonsi's name spelled wrong]!! How are mom & baby doing? When are you going to be in town? I can't wait to meet your little baby girlll! :) Let me know if you need anything. :) How dimwitted! Granted, DH responded to her superficiality with some of his own, but I believe that was more the training kicking in from his time in the Narc trenches, than due to some defect in his mental capabilities. I can't say the same about Exhibit A. Even if DH responded to her nonsense on a couple of occasions, his behaviors were such that it should have been pretty clear that she was not a person of great value in his life, indeed, our lives, nor was she ever. Her place value was about ten zeroes down past the decimal point.

I probably don't need to tell you that, aside from some pictures, Exhibit A has never seen our DD. She has never met either of our children. Nor will she ever. As DD's mother, I reserve the right to protect her from bratty, two-faced, immature, wickedly ridiculous, moronic, and incompetent people like Exhibit A.

Which brings me to my next point, on the following: i hope you see i'm writing this, even though i know you won't. Imagine my surprise when I read this and discovered that even after months of not speaking with DH, she still thought her opinion mattered to him. Like, really, honey? He married me. I don't claim to own him like you do, but if anyone has any rights to claiming "mine" - it's me. You don't have any claim to stake, and he stopped thinking about you a long, long time ago. Your thoughts and opinions and (gasp!) feelings really don't matter in all of this.

She says she's "not sure what she did to deserve how he treated her." Again, after talking with DH about it, we have no idea what she could possibly be imagining he did to her. Here's the list we came up with of possible offenses:

1. DH did not respond to a text she sent him at 2AM one morning in June of 2009 about how she "missed him" and "wanted to see him again." For anyone who doesn't know my full story, DH and I met in February of 2009 and by June were engaged to be married, looking for an apartment, and preparing for the birth of our first child. Needless to say, sloppy-drunk, "I miss you" text messages are far from appropriate.
2. DH emailed her and asked that she remove the photo she posted without permission from her Facebook page.
3. DH did not make any attempts to communicate with her, share his life with her, or see her since we met in 2009.

Of these three offenses, none of them can really be construed as acts of violence or cruelty on DH's part. It's Exhibit A's problem if she chooses to think that they were. It's also her problem if she continues to think that DH still wants her in his life, in spite of the message he was sending with each point.

I'm finding myself getting quite bored with her commentary now, so I'll end on this last point: i honestly can't even describe the hatred i have for her. what she turned you into.. i can't believe you would let someone take over your life like this. Yawn.

That's my point: Yawn. It is so obvious the source of all this drama, and it's not Miss-I'm-So-Clever over here. Seriously though, the nonsense is really getting tiring. NMIL and her army, collectively, are just one big party-pooper.


  1. Typical Narc. Believing gossip, spreading it, "hating" a person over what they don't know and doesn't concern them, and then claiming to be that person's "best friend". What gives?

  2. PA - I know, by the time I got to the whole "hating" section, I was getting really bored with it. In her two original blog posts, she kept claiming to think that I hated her. Which showed completely her lack of self-esteem. Then she turns around and tries to say that we're the ones hating on her. Because we asked her not to post things about our family online. least that's my best guess. Whatever. You can't argue with crazy!

  3. Just more proof some people deserve to stew in their own "hate juice". They are so damn boring and predictable it's hard summon up enough interest to "hate" them in return.

  4. Mulderfan - SO true. I find that the more I think about it, the more pathetic she seems and the more bored I get. I told DH recently that I never needed to see this shit to know it was being said. Really, SO predictable.

  5. Someone needs to get a life and some serious counseling.

  6. she's a childhood friend of dh? oh. wow. what is she doing getting involved with his family? why is she commiserating with his sister? that's just weird. sometimes rants like these makes me nervous cause i go on hate rants too. just that...there are some differences. in that..she doesn't make sense. usually when i hate someone, i dont miss them that much and i dont feel 'entitled' to their attention. i kind of want to forget about them and for them to get out of my life. i usually hate people more for how they directly treat me, than for how i perceive them to be 'taken control of by their wives'. though sometimes i hate my dad for being so stupidly tied up with my mom's bullshit. but that's cause it causes him to enable abuse towards me which is abuse in its own right.
    she's just weird for commiserating with his sister, for claiming to miss him and yet also hate him. also that claim about 'that's not how you treat family!' (RED LIGHTS!). i dont like that phrase. my phrase is 'that's not how you treat a person, family or not.'
    also narcs have a weird way of talking, it's subtle but weird...its a way where they dont take responsibility for anything, like they're kind of just ballooning off the ground, flying by the seat of their pants. the way she described her feelings as 'she doesn't have words probably cause she's so in shock.' she just pulled that shit out of her ass.
    what is up with weird girls who are disproportionally involved and enraged about things that are highly irrelevant to them? but i can see how a lot of this might seem normal to dh. it's got a blurry magnetic pull. it takes a while to pull back. especially when we were expected to take everything and accommodate to everything that came our way.