The story of my parents' reaction to our pregnancy news is completely different to that of NMIL's reaction. Despite our growing excitement about having a baby, I was hesitant to tell my mom and dad because I was afraid they might be upset that we'd been dating such a short time before getting pregnant. I knew that my parents thought rather highly of DH, and that they were happy for us in our new relationship. My mom confided that "Anyone who doesn't see how much you love each other is missing something." Despite my mom's fondness of DH, however, I was terrified that she would be disappointed in us for not waiting longer to have a baby. In hindsight, my anxieties were completely unfounded.
In trying to decide how we were going to give the news, we joked that it might be a good idea to just "slip it in" to the conversation over dinner. DH suggested I say, "We're having a baby could you pass the peas?" Laughing about it before-hand helped me settle my nerves a bit, but I still remember sitting there all through dinner with DH holding my sweaty hand firmly in his under the table, and my stomach all aflutter with nervousness. I had settled on the pass-the-ultrasound-photo-while-mentioning-that-my-parents-were-going-to-have-another-grandchild to add to the one they'd be getting from my brother in a few months. I waited through the entire meal and when I couldn't take it anymore, I handed the photo to my mother, picture-side down and spoke the news. Oh god, my hand did shake. My mother's response to our news brought overwhelming joy and relief and immediate tears to my eyes. She took the photo and it only took the briefest second for her to say "Woo hoo!" and I knew that everything was going to be fine. I just started crying, and laughing, with tears rolling down my cheeks. I turned to DH and he said, "See? I said you didn't have to worry about it!" and he hugged me and kissed me and my parents got up and took turns hugging each of us. There was a flurry of questions,
"Was is planned?"
"When is the due date?"
"Will you get married before or after?"
"Will you find out the baby's sex?"
"Will you be moving in together? When?"
Then my mom said she had known for weeks that I was pregnant and she was going to just come out and ask me if I didn't get to telling her about it. Oh, I couldn't have been happier or any less surprised! It took me some time to get over the shock that she had known all along and that I could have just told her weeks before.
There were no judgments being made, no anger, just love. Love and joy. My parents was genuinely happy for us, and reveling in our happiness together. As we all cleared the dishes together, my mom and I talked more about pregnancy - how she felt during her three pregnancies, how my body was reacting to pregnancy just like hers had, what else I could expect in the upcoming months. I even remember my mom saying something like, "Well, I guess I'll be planning another baby shower this year, then!"
DH and I had waited the obligatory three months to spread the news of our pregnancy, but I STILL have guilt about waiting to tell my parents and for telling them after we told NMIL. My mom has reassured me that it didn't hurt her feelings to be told second in the line-up. I believe her. My mother is the most honest person I know. DH's parent's reactions paled in comparison to my parent's. The funny thing is that I really think, had this happened with any one of the other guys I had dated over the years, my parents would not have been quite as happy. I've always believed that their happiness was due, at least in part, to the fact that it was DH this was happening with. But you know what? Looking back at all the schmucks I dated...DH made all the difference to me, too. This couldn't have happened with a better person...just another reason why I feel so lucky that he and I found each other. He's a beautiful person, and together, we've started a beautiful family.